MEDIC!
There's a certain hellish realm
Reserved for everyone who yells
They need the Medic!
Every evening while I sleep
When I'm busy counting sheep
They all bleet 'Medic!'
When I'm eating, when I'm reading
Or excreting on the john
There's no hiding from the screaming in my mind
There's no place in heaven high
Where I can crawl away and die
The only real solution's absolutely
Homicide!
MEDIC!
Oh
Speak of the devil
All the wounds I've ever sealed
All the boo-boos that I've healed
I'm a changed Medic!
Now these injuries can stay
While I blow some noobs away
Beware the Medic!
The Soldier and the Sniper
I'm afraid they've not got long
The Demoman and Pyro quickly fade!
And the Medic will just laugh
As the Heavy's torn in half
By the Medic and his bonesaw's
Gruesome blade!
Now the Sniper has jars of Jarate
Clear glass bottles he fills
With his piss!
When he hits all his foes
He crits all of his blows
He has that!
I have this!
The Engineer has electronics
And the Spy's got disguises and tricks!
And the Pyro's insane!
(Eh, the Scout's kind of lame)
They do that!
I do this!
If you'd like a reason why
My entire team should die!
Then play the Medic!
Well my friends, the doctor's out
OF HIS WHOLE MIND!
So go on shout
You'll get no Medic!
I don't care about points or payloads
Only psychopathic sprees
Nor which colour team you're playing
RED or BLU!
And if I see just one more hat
I'll tear your insides out like that!
Like Saxton Hale on a safari
At the zoo!
I'm a physician on a mission
And contrition's not my style
Am I a monster or a Mann?
I cannot say!
All I know is that my Über's
Locked and loaded like a trooper
Medicare's
One shot away!
You think I've arrived bearing safety
But I come not with peace
But a sword!
There's a high price to pay
For the health I've purveyed!
All I do
You've ignored!
All I do
I've abhorred!
I once
Was a man who was valiantly healing
Everyone crying
'MEDIC!'
I once
Healed a Spy
Who then knifed me goodbye!
That's why I learned to just
Let people die!
Let them die!
Leave the Demoman for dead!
Let the Heavy fill with lead!
Meet the new
Medic!
May the Pyro be inflamed!
May you loath this wretched game
Without the Medic!
May your papers all be stolen!
Your Intelligence be lost!
May your Sandviches
Be full of rancid meat!
And the first fool that I hear
Who calls for Medic
Gets their rear rent
Surgically!
Ooh!
By me
Your friendly P.H.D.
The Medic...
MEDIC!