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Now, back to the video.
Do you know someone who is
or might be a narcissist?
Narcissistic personality disorder, also known as NPD,
is characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance,
the deep-seated need for praise and attention,
and a lack of empathy for others.
But while the disorder itself is present in a rare few,
a lot more people actually have narcissistic tendencies.
Before we start, we'd like to mention
these are just some examples
of what a narcissist would say.
After all, there are a variety of ways to say them.
Also, if you relate to this video,
please do not use the video to self-diagnose
or diagnose others.
A person who has narcissistic tendencies
does not necessarily have
a narcissistic personality disorder.
With that said, here are 10 of the most common things
narcissists say and what they really mean.
One: "If you could have just one friend, who would it be?"
While it might seem like a harmless question,
it's a subtle way for them to emotionally manipulate you.
They may ask this in hopes that you'd say it's them.
If you don't, they may get upset at you
and give you the cold shoulder.
It's a way for them to reaffirm
their sense of self-importance
and that you should choose them over your other friends.
Two: "We don't need anyone else."
A common strategy narcissists use
to keep you compliant and loyal to them
is by isolating you from everyone else.
While it may sound flattering when they tell you
that all you need is each other,
what they're really trying to do
is make you dependent on them and them alone.
They don't want to compete for your time and attention
because they want you all for themselves.
Number three: "You're always overreacting."
Have they told you that you couldn't take a joke
when you called them out for saying something hurtful?
Did they say that you were too sensitive?
A narcissist will never own up
to the abuse they inflict on you, but rather,
trick you into thinking you're the one at fault.
They'll make you second guess yourself
and, as a result, enable their bad behavior
by rationalizing it, minimalizing it,
or by making excuses for themselves.
Four: "Not everything's about you."
With a narcissist, everything needs to be about them
all the time.
You can't ever steal the spotlight from them
or they'll resent you for it.
They don't care about your problems
or what you're going through.
Instead, they'll project their own self-centeredness
on to you and make you feel guilty or embarrassed
about taking the focus away from them,
even if it's just for a second.
Number five: "Wow, no wonder nobody else likes you."
To a narcissist, the key to keeping you in line
is by destroying your sense of self-esteem
and making you feel like you have no one else to turn to.
The more alienated and alone you feel,
the less likely you are to leave them.
They may prey on your insecurities
and make you think that no one else can ever love
or care for you the way they do.
Number six: "I always defend you to everyone else,
and this is how you repay me?"
When a narcissist tells you this, it's for three reasons.
Firstly, they want to turn you against the people you love
by saying that they secretly hate you
and talk about you behind your back.
Secondly, they want to play the hero
and swoop in to save the day.
But mostly, they want to make you feel
like you need to reward their so-called act of kindness
by never speaking out against them and by paying them back
with more loyalty, praise, and obedience.
Seven: "You only succeed because of my help."
A narcissist is likely to take credit
for your accomplishments.
They might brag about
how you couldn't have done it without them
or how you owe them much for your success.
They want to share in your glory
and remind you that you're nothing without them.
Number eight: "Don't let this get to your head."
While they may pretend
that they're happy and supportive of you,
deep down, they're rooting against you.
They want you to fail
to make them feel more comfortable about themselves.
No matter how well you do or how much you succeed,
they'll find ways to make you feel less important than them.
Number nine: "I'm the best you'll ever have."
Narcissists wants you to think
that they're the best thing that's ever happened to you.
They want you to think that they're the best friend
and romantic partner you've been looking for
and that it would be the biggest mistake of your life
to leave them.
Narcissists may also make it seem like they've stooped down
to be with you since you're unworthy of them.
And number 10: "I'm only doing this because I love you."
Most importantly, narcissists will try
to justify their mistreatment of you
by saying that they're only doing it out of love
or that they have your best interest at heart.
But what they may really mean
is that they enjoy being able to control
and exploit you for all that you give them.
Did anyone in particular come to mind during this list?
Do you think you might have a narcissist in your life?
Let us know in the comments below.
If you found this video helpful,
be sure to like, subscribe, and share this video
with those who might benefit from it.
The references and studies used in this video
are added in the description below.
Thanks for watching and we'll see you in the next one.