Some international news
out of the Vatican where Pope Francis had a special visitor.
Vice President Mike Pence
making a special stop during his overseas trip,
getting a chance to meet Pope Francis in Vatican City.
MAN 2: The meeting was twice as long
as President Trump's visit in 2017.
As he was leaving, Pence said, "Thank you, Your Holiness.
"You have made me a hero.
God bless you."
Yes, that's right.
The most religious man in the world met the pope.
(laughter)
And I-I bet... I bet after meeting Mike Pence,
the pope walked away like, "Yo, that guy's a Jesus freak.
That guy really likes Jesus."
Also, I-I don't really get what did Mike Pence mean
when he told the pope, "You have made me a hero"?
How does meeting the pope make you a hero?
Unless he meant the pope literally made him a hero.
-Then... -(laughter)
Then it makes sense.
Here's a question.
Here's a question I have, though.
Do you think the pope took Pence's confession?
Because if he did, that would have
to be the most boring confession the pope has ever heard.
The pope would be like,
"You walked in on your wife taking off her shoes?
"I don't care. What?
"No, eating salty food is not a sin!
What the hell, man?!"
All right, moving on to more international news.
The coronavirus is spreading faster and faster every day,
and now the Chinese government is working overtime to stop it.
Breaking news about the deadly coronavirus.
Just today, more cases were confirmed here in the U.S.,
bringing the total number to at least five.
MAN: The virus is now spreading faster.
So far, it's killed at least 81 people in China.
More than 2,700 others have been infected
across 13 countries.
MAN 2: Wuhan, the epicenter of the outbreak,
and 14 other cities now in lockdown.
That's a total of 50 million people
ordered to stay in place.
MAN 3: Workers in Wuhan with heavy machinery,
racing against time to build
a brand-new 1,000-bed hospital in just ten days.
Yes, China has announced
that they're building a thousand-bed hospital
in just ten days.
Ten days... to build a hospital.
There is no other country that can do anything that fast.
Like, in America, it takes longer than that
-to get cable installed. -(laughter)
I've learned, when you order cable in this country,
you aren't ordering it for you.
You're ordering it for your grandkids.
That's what you're doing.
It's just like, "I just want Little Billy
"to have Comcast one day.
Yes, yes, I'll be ready."
But I guess this-this is the double-edged sword
of China's cultural efficiency.
Like, the people in the country are extremely efficient,
but so are their diseases, right? 'Cause think about it.
This disease is going all over the world at an insane rate.
Like, you... There's no...
There's no Jamaican diseases that have threatened the world.
Yeah, because, like the people,
Jamaican diseases are chilled out, you know?
It's just like, "Yeah, man, we infected this one person.
Should we go on and infect the entire population?"
It's like, "No, so much work.
"We're just gonna enjoy this man's mouth.
"We're not gonna infect anybody else.
We just relax. We irie."
(laughter)
Also... okay, also, am I the only one who's noticed
that the virus has gone everywhere except Africa, huh?
(laughter)
-I mean, look, don't get me wrong. -(clapping)
Don't get me wrong.
-I don't want the virus, but I'm kind of hurt. -(laughter)
Why is Africa always left out, huh?
I mean, maybe the coronavirus is just scared
because it knows if it shows up in Africa,
Ebola will be waiting at the airport like,
"Oh, Corona.
Look at me, Corona. I'm the virus now, huh?"
(laughter)
All right, and finally, in some transportation news,
this could make driving a little bit more fun.
If you ever make it up to Vermont,
you may see something different on the road.
License plates with emojis.
Vermont is the first state in the country considering
adding one of six emojis to their license plates.
The symbols would not replace any letters or numbers,
and some drivers on the road are on board.
MAN 2: If you were to have the option to do an emoji
on your license plate, what would that emoji be?
Um, probably a heart and a rainbow.
It would probably be an angry face and a kissy smile.
-(laughter) -Yeah.
I love this. Angry face and a kissy smile.
I like that.
Emojis on license plates. This is a great idea.
Like, if everyone has emojis on their license plates,
it would be so much easier to remember the license plate
if there was a hit-and-run, right?
'Cause every time, people are like, "Did you get the plate?"
You're like, "No, it was a number and letter."
Now, it'd be like, "Yeah, I remember it. I got it.
It was three women cha-chaing! I remember that!"
(laughter)
"They... they cha-cha'd all over my grandpa, man!"
(laughter, groaning)
At the same time,
I do think emojis could also
make life tougher for cops, all right?
'Cause they're gonna be out out on the highway like,
"Suspect's on the run, eight dead, four wounded.
"He's in a late model Chevy,
"license plate eggplant, water squirt, water squirt, 69.
"Repeat: eggplant, water squirt, water squirt, 69.
God help us all."