-Hi. In this video, I'm going to be sharing 10 signs that a man is
emotionally invested in you.
[music]
Hi ladies, Mat Shaffer here, your empowerment, connection,
and relationship coach.
I'm a former attorney who's committed his life to supporting
you and creating this sort of fun, fulfilling, dynamic
connections and relationships with men that you're so worthy of.
I'm really excited about today's topic.
We're going to dive into a whole bunch of signs, a whole
bunch of tells that are going to help you understand if
a man that you're seeing or getting to know is emotionally
invested in you or he's not.
It's going to be a lot of fun, but before we dive into
it, take a second, hit that little subscribe button, and
don't forget to click that link in the comments and caption.
I have created some awesome training that's going to make a
huge difference in your connections and relationships with men.
I want to start off with a really interesting fact.
Did you know that men actually fall in love much
faster than women on average?
Yes, on average, it takes a man 88 days to fall in love with you
and along that pathway, they're going to become more and more
emotionally invested in you.
Emotional investment is the currency of love.
Here are 10 telltale signs that a man is beginning
to open his heart to you.
Number one is they embrace your flaws with open arms and a smile.
This reminds me of a really great quote that, "We come to
love, not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see
an imperfect person perfectly." What does this look like?
If a man is seeing your flaws and he's seeing them as endearing or
cute or charming, or even part of the main reasons why he loves you,
then it's a great sign that he's becoming emotionally invested in you.
Maybe you snort when you laugh and he finds it freaking adorable.
Maybe you get a little jealous if you see that an ex-girlfriend
liked one of his social media posts, and instead of him feeling
threatened or turned off by it, he actually appreciates
your passion and your fire.
When a man is emotionally invested in you, he's going to see all
your quirks and all the little weird facets of your personality
or the things that you might be self-conscious about, he's going
to see them as just more reasons to love and appreciate you.
Maybe something you're ashamed of in your body.
Maybe you have some cellulite or you've always been
self-conscious about your hips or a different aspect of your body.
If a man is emotionally invested in you, he's not seeing those things as
flaws, he's seeing them as part of what makes you unique and wonderful.
Number two, they are exceptionally present and proactive to your needs.
This could look a lot of different ways.
Say you're walking down the street with him and you're maybe shivering
a little bit, he's going to notice that and he will give you his jacket
or even the shirt off his back to make you warm, to make you feel
more comfortable or if you come home from work and maybe you've had a
bad day, he's going to notice that you're not necessarily looking real
bright and he's going to immediately ask you, "Hey, what's going on?
How can I support you?"
I want you to think about this because it's not just about
being present, it's about being present to how you're feeling
and what's coming up for you and really noticing it, and then
it's being proactive about it.
He didn't ask you if you were cold, he just gave you his jacket
or if he sees that you're in a bad mood, he's going to ask you
immediately, why are you in this bad mood and how can I support you?
He wants to make it better. Look for that.
If he starts doing that to you, then you know he is
getting emotionally invested.
Number three, they go above and beyond to make you happy
and this works for both direct and indirect requests.
Of course, if you make a direct request to a man and he's emotionally
invested in you, he is going to go over the top to deliver.
Say you say, "Hey, I want to go on an adventure date, could
you plan something for us?"
He's not just going to plan a little hike to a neighborhood park.
He's going to book a cabin or a little coastal retreat for you
somewhere and he's going to plan all the details and he's going to
take into account all the things that you like and what you enjoy
doing and he's going to give you an incredible experience.
An even more powerful sign is if it's an indirect request that he
responds to, and it goes over the top on say, y'all are walking down
the street and you see a scarf in the window of a boutique that
you like, and you say, "Oh wow, that scarf is really pretty."
Two weeks later you see a package on the kitchen table, not even for
a holiday or a birthday or anything, and you open it up and it's that
scarf and the matching earrings or bag or some other accessory.
That is a man paying attention to your indirect requests, your
needs that you're not even directly asking him about and wanting to
give them to you because he truly is invested in you and your happiness.
Number four is they will make time for you no matter how busy
they are and this is a huge distinction between a man who's
just casually interested in you and a man who is really falling
for you and really is invested in building a relationship with you.
Oh, I have to just make this really, really, really clear.
If a man is emotionally invested in you, he will move mountains to
be with you, to spend time with you, to share his life with you.
Say, for example, he's got to be on a flight at 3:00 PM, he'll still say,
"Hey, I'm going to be out of town for the week, I really want to see
you, can you meet me for lunch at 11:30 just so I can see you one last
time before I run to the airport?"
He'll show up for that lunch with his bags, knowing he's got to go right
to the airport after lunch with you and it's just a powerful indicator
that this man is going above and beyond to make you a part of his
life and to spend time with you.
Ladies, if a man is constantly too busy or he's only squeezing you in
around the edges of his life, he's not willing to move appointments
or to really set aside time for you, that's a sign that he's not
emotionally invested in you and you either get to pull back and see if
he will come forward or maybe you get to go look for somebody else
because you want to be with a man who truly values and cherishes your time
and is really emotionally grounded in sharing his life with you.
Number five, they're genuinely curious about
the details of your life.
There's two powerful ways that you'll be able to tell
if they're curious about you.
The first is that they will actually ask you questions about the random
trivia and details of your life.
For example, they might ask, "How close are you with your
sister," or, "What was it like growing up in rural Indiana?
Were you bored a lot?"
Because I can tell you from personal experience, I spent some
time in rural Indiana, it's pretty boring, it's pretty much cows and
cornfields as far as the eye can see.
Number two, once they ask those questions, they remember the details
and they'll just unconsciously bring them up in conversation with you.
They might just randomly comment to you, "Hey, so are you really looking
forward to going home for Christmas?
I know it's normally the only time you get to see your sister
and that you miss her a lot, are you excited about that?
What are you going to get her for Christmas?"
See that's him indicating through his questions and what he's saying to
you, that he's remembering all these little nuanced details of your life.
That is a really huge green flag that a man is becoming
emotionally invested in you.
Number six, they get a little protective over you in a healthy way.
A key point here ladies is that a man will feel a masculine sense of
responsibility for your physical and emotional wellbeing as he becomes
more and more invested in you.
An early example of this would be him asking you to text him when
you get home from a date that's a really, really powerful sign.
Another one would be him demonstrating in a social
situation that you two are together with physical
intimacy, with casual touching.
I think one of the best examples of that is say, I'm walking a
girl that I'm dating into a room, a room filled with new people.
I might have my hand, on the small of her back as I'm walking
her into the room so that everybody can just know that
she's with me and we're together.
It's just a little subconscious thing I think a lot of times men
do to demonstrate to the room.
"Hi, she and I are together.
I'm invested in her."
A third great way that a man indicates that he's a protector
is if there's anything going wrong in your life, he's really
quick to want to fix it and to try to find a way to do so.
Say you've got a leaky pipe at your house in your kitchen
or your bathroom and all of a sudden he's over there with a
wrench in hand watching YouTube videos, he's magically become
a professional plumber, he's not a professional plumber.
Say for example you're stressing out about something at work, all of a
sudden he might just morph into Dr. Phil
and try to give you advice or try to come up with a solution with
you, even if it's not very good.
What if you just told Karen to chill out?
You and I both know Karen's not going to chill out,
but he doesn't know that.
Number seven is if a man is emotionally invested in you, he
will give you quick and thoughtful responses to your texts because
if a man isn't emotionally invested, he's going to give you
those famous three-word answers.
Say, for example, you asked, "How's your day going?"
In a text message and he might respond, "It was
okay, it's going great."
That's it, end of conversation.
That response might come what, 2, 3, 5, 6, 8 hours later.
Whereas if a man is emotionally invested in you within half an hour
of you asking him how his day is, he's going to say something like,
oh, it's been such a great day.
I crushed my meetings at work, which is actually really
surprising because I was thinking about you the whole time.
You can see in that response that not only did he respond quickly,
letting you know that your communication is a priority for him.
He talked a little bit, gave you some details about how his day
went, and then managed to throw in a little flirty compliment
too to make you feel good.
Number 8 is he talks about you to his friends and family.
You might be able to tell this in a couple of different ways.
It might be obvious.
He might say, "So, I was talking to my mom about you the other
day and talking about how much fun we had on our date."
He might just bring it up casually in conversation, or
it might show up another way.
You might actually go to meet his family at one time, and his
mother might say something like, "Oh, so this is the Amanda we've
been hearing so much about.
Amanda, it's a pleasure to meet you."
Number 9 is he introduces you to his friends and family in
a reasonable amount of time.
I think Chris Rock said it best in one of his old stand-up specials,
"If you've been dating a guy for more than six months and you
haven't met any of his friends, you are not his girlfriend."
A man who is emotionally invested in you, he's going to
introduce you to the people in his life in a reasonable amount
of time, probably within two to three, or even, six months.
Generally, it will be friends first.
This is a huge breakthrough and a huge sign that he's getting
emotionally invested in you because if he's introducing you to his
friends, that means he's been talking about you to his friends and he's
looking to get their approval.
For most men, the approval of his friends of his partner is a huge
part of building that relationship.
If you've become a frequent flier at friend hangouts, know that
you've entered the inner circle and you've gained the seal of
approval from the people whose opinions matter the most to him.
The 10th sign that a man is emotionally invested in you,
and I cannot tell you how important this is, is that
he future-builds with you.
A key concept here, ladies, is that men are builders.
When men are investing in anything, whether it is a house, a career,
or a relationship, they want to build it at many different levels.
If a man starts speaking about things that you and him are doing
in the future, things that he would love to do with you, he is building
within his mind, within his vision, he is building that future with you.
Ask yourself.
Is he talking about things that you're going to be doing three
months down the road, six months down the road, places that you
might be able to move together?
This is a man in his imagination, building a future with you.
It is a huge sign that he can see that future, that he's
integrating you into his vision.
Most high-value men are going to have a big vision for their lives.
If you have become someone that he's emotionally invested in you, he's
going to bring you into that future.
It doesn't have to even be direct.
If he just starts sharing his goals and his vision for his life with
you-- Just the fact that he's sharing them with you is a sign that he's
indirectly can see you being in those phases of his life with him because
I can tell you, for sure, that if a man doesn't want to talk to you ever
about anything going on in the future of his life, it's often because he
doesn't see you as a part of it.
It's a great idea if a man is talking about his future plans
for his life or even bringing you into them and talking about things
that you two could do together in the future in his imagination.
For you to play along with that, and for you to fuel it and
nurture it, you are the conductor, remember, so you want to invite
him deeper into thinking and feeling into those situations.
That's a great way to encourage him to be vulnerable and to open up to
you more because it is a vulnerable act to discuss the future with the
woman that you're dating, right?
Any time a man is being emotionally vulnerable, you want to invite and
encourage him to do more of that.
There you go, ladies.
10 powerful signs that a man is becoming emotionally invested in you.
Number 1, they embrace your flaws with a smile.
They think the fact that you fart in bed is cute.
Number 2, they are exceptionally present and proactive to your needs.
You don't need to bring a jacket because you know if you get
cold, he's going to give you his.
It's not even a question.
Number 3, they go above and beyond to make you happy.
You want to go out for a three-course meal and he ends
up booking a eight-course meal.
Number 4, they make time for you no matter how busy they are.
"Honey, I got surgery at 5:00 PM, but before I go under the knife,
can we please go grab a coffee?"
Number 5, they genuinely care about the details of your life.
They're going to do that by one, asking you about the details of your
life, and then two, by remembering those details casually and indirectly
moving forward in the relationship.
Number 6, they get a little protective over you in a healthy way.
Never forget that that little hand on the waist on the way into a
room or if he comes up next to you while you're talking to people and
he puts his hand on your waist, that's his indirect communication
to the room that you are his.
Number 7, quick and thoughtful responses to your text messages.
You're never going to be left hanging or without something to
work with when you're dealing with an emotionally invested man.
Number 8, he talks about you to his friends and family.
Either he's going to tell you that or when you finally do show up at
a friends' and family gathering, they're going to look at you
like a celebrity because they've been hearing so much about you.
Number 9, he introduces you to his friends and family in
a reasonable amount of time.
He's not going to let you hang for six months, eight months a year.
You'll start meeting his friends pretty quickly
within two, three months.
As you become a frequent flier with his friends, you will
know that you have got some major traction in his life.
When you become a frequent flier at these friends and family
gatherings, you will know that you've created some serious traction
in his life and in his heart.
Number 10, he future-builds with you.
He's talking about the things that you two can do in the future, plans
you can have, adventures that you can have, what family dreams he has.
Even if he's not specifically bringing you into it, just the
fact that he's talking about his future, he's talking about his
vision, means, "Hey, I'm willing to share this with you because I can
conceivably see you as part of it."
I hope that these help you decide and discern if a man in your life is
emotionally invested in you or not so that you can make the decisions
that are in your best interest for your relationships because you are
worthy of powerful love with a man who is truly emotionally invested
in falling in love with you.
I hope you enjoyed this video.
Before you go out there and find that dream guy, take a second,
hit that little Subscribe button, and don't forget to click that
link in the comments and caption.
I have created some awesome training that's going to make a
huge difference in your connections and relationships with men.
Thanks so much for stopping by, and I'll see you soon.
Bye-bye.
[music]