Finding that person you can spend your life with
is an amazing and special experience,
but I know for so many people
how difficult and frustrating it can be
to try to identify who is for you and who is not.
To ensure that you end up with the right person
and not trapped into the wrong,
toxic, unhealthy relationship
so, I’m here to help you out.
I’m going to lay out the
three keys to identifying your soulmate.
My name is Stephan Labossiere aka Stephan Speaks
back with another dating and relationship advice video.
Today is relationship advice for men and women
and like I said, we're going to be talking about the
three keys to identifying your soulmate.
Now, as always be sure to like this video,
share it, subscribe to this channel, and comment below.
What do you think is a sign
to identifying your soulmate?
Now, real quick if you are
noticing a different ambiance
I’m in a different city for a little while
just work with me but I'll be
back to my normal setup very soon,
but anyways, let's get to the topic,
three keys to identifying your soulmate.
Now, let's first start with
discussing the whole concept of a soulmate.
Now let me make something very clear
I do not believe in soulmates in the sense that
no matter what you do in life
you are going to end up with this person.
There are people out there who think
what is for you is for you
and there's no way to mess that up
and I highly disagree.
We all have free will,
we have choices to make
and those choices can pull us onto the wrong path
it can pull us away from the right relationships,
it can even pull us away from our true purpose.
So, we have to take personal
accountability and understanding
the preparation necessary
and the decisions
we are going to have to make in life
to ensure we get what God has for us
including that soulmate.
But here's what I do believe is a soulmate
I believe the soulmate is the person
God knows who is best for you.
At the end of the day,
you're going to meet a lot of people,
you are going to like a lot of people
you might have chemistry with a lot of people.
Hell, you might love a lot of people,
but not all of them are you going to
have a true connection with.
Not all of them can
possibly be your soulmate
because not all of them are truly best for you.
Some of them may look good on paper,
but spiritually there is something
that is not in proper alignment there
and that's the key here,
we're talking about soulmates.
We're going to a spiritual level with this
it's not just how it looks on the surface
it's that deeper thing that's going on.
It's that recognition
that we are a match,
we are the two people who fit together
to now achieve an even greater purpose together.
And God knows who is best and who is not.
Who can derail that purpose
and who can uplift and strengthen you
in that path.
So, this is where I believe
the soulmate comes into play, all right.
So, now with that out the way let's get into
how do we identify these soulmates.
Number one,
key number one to identifying your soulmate.
You'll be able to be yourself with them
and they will love you for who you are.
So, here's the reality
the unfortunate reality.
A lot of people are dating
with their representative.
A lot of people are entering into relationships
with their representative
and you're sitting here claiming
you love them there's a connection,
but who the hell are they connecting to?
Who the hell do they love?
It's your fake you
it isn't the real person
and the reality is that
when your true self comes out that individual
may not like what they see anymore.
And that is more than enough evidence to say
they are not your soulmate
because the reality is that
the person who is truly for you
will love who you are at your core,
but it's your responsibility
to show that person from the jump.
We don't wait till we meet
a person that we think it's safe
to be ourselves around.
No, we be ourselves with confidence
and we see who embraces that and who doesn't.
Which makes life easier in the sense of
weeding out who is truly for us and who is not
so, you want to walk in your authentic self
from day one.
You want to at least, work towards that.
Whatever fears or hang-ups that you have
about being who you really are
let's conquer them.
Let's face those issues,
let's heal
because we need that to open the door
to you being who you were created to be.
And know that in that
you will now start to
not only attract your soulmate
and be able to receive them,
but other opportunities.
Your purpose can now flourish
because you are walking in your true self.
It's the truth that will set you free.
So, if you're living a fake life
if you're being a fake you then you are not free.
You are in bondage
and I’m trying to set you free from that bondage
or at least assist you in that process.
But getting back to the main topic at hand
identifying your soulmate.
You will be able to be yourself
and they will love that
and that's the thing
because understand that again, if you're carrying
your own hang-ups into a relationship
and you're saying well I can't be myself around them.
Let's identify is that because
you are struggling on your own
or because they are rejecting
the parts of you that you have shown them.
If it's about them rejecting
when you do try to show yourself
then clearly they're not for you
but if it is about you
being fearful or letting your true self out
be sure you conquer those fears because that's important.
And again, not just for the sake of relationships,
but for your own quality of life.
So, again, your soulmate
will love who you are
you will be able to be yourself with them.
Key number two to identifying your soulmate
and I’m going to break this down into two parts,
for the men, you will feel peace in her presence.
For the women, you will feel
safety and security in his presence.
So, let's start with the men.
I have spoken to tons of men
who have said with confidence
they know they have met the woman
or they're with the woman
that they have a connection with
they feel is their soulmate.
And one of the common denominators I have found
in all of these situations
is that they feel peace
around this woman.
It's not even about
what she's specifically doing.
Just hearing her voice
can give him peace,
just her coming around him
can give him peace.
And so again, it's something that's occurring
at the spiritual level.
It's not about what's happening on the surface.
A lot of people can be nice and sweet,
but that doesn't mean you feel peace around them.
You can still feel funny,
weird or just not just not kind of neutral
around certain individuals
despite how nice they are to you.
But feeling that aura
of peace is a huge sign
this is your soulmate,
there is a connection there.
For the women, same thing
but it's about security and safety
you feel safe with this man
you feel safe in his presence.
Again, it doesn't mean he's perfect
doesn't mean he gets everything right,
but something about his spirit
speaks to you in a way
that you feel at ease
when you are with him, all right.
And it becomes easier
to be vulnerable with him.
But notice I said the word easier
and that goes for the men you find it easier
to be vulnerable with this woman,
but let me help you guys understand
a mistake a lot of people make.
So, let's just say as a woman
you meet this man
and when you're in his presence
when you're talking to him you feel that safety,
you feel at ease,
you feel like you could be vulnerable.
But then let's say when you
get off that conversation or when you
go back to your house
after meeting up with him
you start getting in your head about
Is this real? Can I trust this?
Your fears and your logic,
and your analyzation starts to creep in
and now fear and confusion
starts to consume you.
Understand that, that fear and confusion
it is attached to your
projection of negativity onto the situation
it is attached to unhealed parts in you
it is not attached to that man's spirit
and how you feel around him.
Don't confuse the two
because I’ve heard people say things like,
well, God is not the author of confusion.
So, because I feel confused in this situation
this must not be the man for me,
but your confusion is not coming from God.
It is coming from your fears
it is coming from your own heart, your own mind
trying to understand what's going on
rather than leaning on God's
understanding of the situation.
And I’m going to shed a little bit
more light on that in key number three,
but the point is
do not confuse those two things.
Do not confuse outside noise
with how you feel with the individual.
Same thing with the men
if you're feeling this peace around her,
but then you go talk to your homeboys
and they're like, man you sure you could trust her?
You sure this is it? You were wrong the last time.
They start pouring that negativity
and now you start becoming
fearful and anxious
and guarded.
Again, don't put that on her
because she did not
make you feel that way
your fears did, your homeboys did,
your projected negativity did.
This is where a lot of people get it wrong
keep it separate
and really evaluate
how do I feel when
I am with this person?
How do I feel when I talk to this person?
Is this the person I can
openly communicate with?
Because if they're doing everything
or again, it's not even about what they're doing
if you're feeling that spiritually in their presence
then you've got to keep your focus on that
and not all the outside noise
that tends to contaminate
a lot of these situations.
Now, key number three
and before I give you key number three
I want to give a book
for the men and the women to read.
For the women get your copy of
the man God has for you.
You can go to www.themangodhasforyou.com
I’ll put the link in the description
and the comments section
it will give you the seven traits to
help you determine your life partner
so it will expound on a lot of
things we're talking about now
and give you some extra bonus things to consider.
For the men, he who finds a wife, same thing
link in the description and the comments section
it will help you in receiving
the woman that is truly for you.
Now, let's move on to key number three.
Key number three is you will
receive Godly confirmation.
Now, hear me clearly, all right.
So, let me just get this out of the way right now.
When I say Godly confirmation
I do not want you thinking
I’m going to get a sign from heaven
that says this is the one.
And the only reason why
I’m saying that to you
is because there is a saying I have where I tell people,
be careful looking for signs
because the devil can throw up billboards too.
A lot of people
rest their determination of a situation
or how they're going to figure out what's going on here
based off of signs,
not considering the fact that
a sign is something that
you're going to have to interpret
and you can easily interpret it wrong.
I can show you situations
where a "sign occurred"
and you asked one group of people what this meant
another group of people what it meant
and they came up with two,
three, four different answers.
So, that means it is possible to
interpret it in different ways.
So, when I speak of Godly confirmation
I don't mean signs,
I don't mean random occurrences,
I mean you going to God in prayer
asking God if this is the one
and you receiving the answer within your spirit.
Now, I know that can be difficult
for some of you all to grasp
if you have not become comfortable
with hearing God in prayer
that's a hard thing to accept.
However, I would encourage you to practice
not just when it comes to
relationships, in life in general
talking to God in prayer
trying to hear what you receive in your spirit.
And if you're struggling to hear
considering fasting, if you
follow me for a long time then you know
I’m big on fasting
and fasting does help you draw closer to God
and gain greater clarity on the situation.
So, that's a way to really
try to get an answer,
but that's what I mean by Godly confirmation
and here's another reason why this Godly
confirmation is so important.
When I sit down
and I’ve coached people who have
been divorced men and women
and I ask them,
did you ask God
if you should marry this person?
Ninety percent say no.
The other ten percent say,
I asked God, He told me no
and I married them anyway.
It shows a clear pattern of people
skipping the step of Godly confirmation
or accepting the answer God gave them.
Which is why we see so many...
One of the reasons why we see
so many failed relationships
so many mismatched people
who don't belong together.
And a bad relationship will create
more bad relationships
because that dysfunction
will now pour over to the kids.
It can pour over to family and friends,
it can have a very negative
impact on the world, which is why
if I’m the devil
I love seeing, not saying I am,
but the devil will love seeing
bad relationships because
it has a domino effect.
Which is also why I would not
if you're the devil you want to see
good ones because good ones
have the opposite effect
healthy relationships
breed more healthy relationships.
They start to have a positive impact,
which is why relationships are so important,
which is why we have to be very careful about
who we set ourselves up with.
Who we align ourselves with,
who we allow into our lives
because it can push us
in the right direction
or the wrong one.
So, it's important that you
understand these things.
Now again, always if you want to make it easier
for you to identify your soulmate, heal.
Heal from your past
because when you have not healed
you're essentially trying to
see this world through broken glasses
and you can't see straight.
But by healing you will fix your vision,
you will be able to clearly see
who is for you who is not, you will be able to
recognize and properly address unhealthy
or toxic situations.
So, it's important that
healing is a part of the process
but to do a quick recap again,
you want to make sure
you can be yourself with them.
You want to make sure that you
feel peace, for the men
or safety for the women
and you want Godly confirmation.
Now, yes, we can go even further
and talk about some other pieces to this puzzle,
but I do believe those are the three big ones
that have to be in place,
but if you want more again,
be sure check out The Man God Has For You
use the link below.
Or for the men, He Who Finds a Wife
and again, leave your comment below
what do you think is a key to
identifying your soulmate?
Hey, thank you for watching this video.
Be sure to check this one out
right here and I’ll see you there.
Put together and it's like,
oh yeah, I see exactly where this is going.
No, it's going to sometimes be confusing
and again, not confusing
because God is confusing you
because he is not the author of confusion
but confusing to us because again,
it goes against what we
think should be the case
or how we think things should play out
or what we think we should do again...