It is now 24 hours
since the already-legendary Trump-Kim summit.
Frankly, I'm still buzzing,
and not just because my phone's on silent,
and I have a debt collector hounding me
about my impounded flame thrower, no.
No, I'm also buzzing
because there were so many exciting moments yesterday
that got overshadowed by Trump's big win.
And here to help me go over them, citizen journalists,
-Kobi Libii and Aaron Jackson. -(applause and cheering)
Guys, welcome.
Now that the dust has settled,
we can relax a little and let our hair down, so...
(sighing)
Ah. That is better. Okay.
Now in a word, how would you describe the summit yesterday?
I'd say "historic," like the launch of the
but without the shipwreck.
And I'd say "profoundly emotional,"
like the movie
-but without the Billy Zane. -KLEPPER: Yes.
Now, Kobi, what moment really stood out to you?
Three words: Dennis Rod Man.
-WOMAN:
WOMAN:
I talked to Kim Jong-un, and, uh,
and administration over there five years ago.
And he sat down and asked me, "Hey, Dennis, um,
"I would like to ask you three things.
"If you could go back to the president of the United States
these three things, and I would be willing to talk to him."
And Obama didn't even give me the time of day!
(scoffs) He didn't give Dennis Rodman the time of day!
Obama wasted months talking to experts
on the history of the Korean Peninsula.
Dennis Rodman could have given him 45 breathtaking minutes
about the time he and Kim went go-karting over peasants.
Now, in spite of Dennis Rodman's obvious expertise,
I know what you're thinking:
Why would Trump bring an NBA player with him to Singapore?
Answer: He didn't.
Dennis Rodman's trip was actually sponsored
by a cryptocurrency company called PotCoin.
(laughter)
Here's Dennis Rodman walking with either a senior executive
from the company or Turtle from
-(laughter) -I'm glad you brought this up, Kobi.
So, what is PotCoin?
PotCoin is a cryptocurrency specifically designed
to buy and sell marijuana.
Not to be confused with CoinPot, the jar where I keep my change,
which so far only has one investor.
(laughter)
-Is it... -It's me.
-It's you, yeah, yeah, yeah. -I'm the investor.
And to be clear, we are still talking
about the North Korea summit.
Believe it or not, we are.
You see, even though PotCoin paid
for Dennis Rodman's trip to Singapore,
Trump valued his contribution so much that Dennis Rodman
got a White House thank-you call.
(chuckles): Which makes sense,
because Republicans have a long tradition
of including NBA players in diplomacy.
When Reagan visited Berlin in '87,
you know who was right there beside him?
-Boston Celtic Kevin McHale. -Yes.
Oh. I believe the famous quote is,
"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.
"And, Mr. McHale, I can see your scrotum
dipping out from those shorts."
-Can I just add something? -Yeah.
First of all, great summary.
I didn't understand a word of it.
But personally, I'm more interested
in the human aspect of this thing.
-Okay, the human rights aspect? -No, the human interest aspect.
The heart, the drama,
and Dennis Rodman's emotional thank-yous.
-Can I thank some people? -Yeah, go ahead.
But let me ask you something,
don't go on a whole tour about it.
Oh, my God.
So moving.
I'm not exactly sure what he's talking about, or why,
but it feels like he just won a championship
or an Oscar.
And Pearl Jam is somehow involved?
I mean, (bleep).
I love North Korea now!
(laughter, applause, whooping)
I...
I heard Jeremy spoke at the summit today.
Okay, no one actually knows Pearl Jam references, Jordan.
But... you know who really lit up hearts this weekend?
Ivanka.
In response to her daddy's critics, Ivanka tweeted...
Incredible.
Ivanka's tweets pack all the inspirational punch
of a wrist tattoo that says, "Just breathe."
(laughter)
And to be honest, I'm pretty impressed
that she knows a Chinese proverb.
Well, admittedly, I guess...
And, in fact...
-(laughter) -But...
who knows more about Chinese culture,
actual Chinese people or Ivanka,
whose clothing line was once manufactured
in factories where real Chinese people
claimed they were actually abused?
Oh. Amen.
Gents, but we need to wrap this up, so real quick,
what do you hope to see in future Trump-Kim summits?
Less research, more CoinPot... Sorry, PotCoin.
-Yes. -And I'll just say nine words:
Eric Trump haiku, baby.
Amazing work as always, guys.
The fight continues.