Hello Infographics fans, it's time for another awesome challenge, all in the name of science.
We're concerned with your hygiene, because we hate to break it to you but despite all
the 'go natural' fads out there, you should definitely be taking time to give yourself
a good scrub once in a while.
As usual though, we want to find out what happens to your body and mind over the long
term, so once more we're tasking our favorite, or least-important anyways, staff writer with
another awesome challenge, all in the name of finding out what happens if you stop showering
for a month!
For science!
Day 1: Ok, I have a confession.
I didn't tell the girlfriend about this challenge, because I'm 100% sure that would not go down
well at all.
Hygiene is kind of important in a relationship, specially when you share a bed and are as
physically active as we are, but also there's the fact that she's been... less than happy
with previous challenges.
That would be putting it mildly.
Also though there's the fact that she's leaving for a film shoot in four days, and she's going
to be on-location for the next three weeks so she's going to miss pretty much the entire
challenge.
This literally couldn't have played out any better.
I think she's been getting suspicious though, typically I get a few weeks between these
challenge assignments to rest and recoup- and also because if I didn't I'm pretty sure
my girlfriend would single-handedly destroy everyone in The Infographics staff.
She's a trained stuntwoman and can box, she's... kind of scary.
Anyways, she knows that right around now is when I should be getting a new challenge assigned,
and I think she's suspicious that I haven't brought anything up yet.
Maybe I'll just tell her there's a production delay or something- by the way if you're wondering,
we obviously don't do these challenges all back to back in real time, by the time you
get to watch these episodes the challenges were already completed a while ago to give
us- or me I guess- time to do more.
So, I'm just not going to say anything until she gets back, which will be about the time
the challenge is over.
As usual I did my research and it turns out not showering can lead to everything from
acne to infections, but turns out that showering all the time is actually pretty bad for you
as well.
That's because your body naturally produces a layer of protection on your skin against
outside infection, and all your vigorous scrubbing destroys this layer and leaves you prone to
getting sick or infections.
That's why some health shops sell probiotic sprays to help grow your healthy body bacteria
while making you smell nice, which by the way is complete nonsense and does not work-
so stick to real science, not pseudoscience, it'll be cheaper in the long run.
Just limit how long you shower each day, and instead of scrubbing your entire body with
soap every time, just do your stinkiest areas- groin, armpits, and butt- and rinse off the
rest with water.
Your body will thank you.
Of course I won't be allowed to do even that much, and I'm not looking forward to this.
See I've already done the no shower challenge in my life during my time in the military,
and it was absolutely not pretty.
Luckily everybody was in on it as well, so everyone stank equally.
In fact we pretty much just smelled like gunpowder, dirt, and sweat, though we did sometimes have
the opportunity to take what we called 'baby wipe showers' where we used a case of baby
wipes to wipe down our vital areas.
By the way, if you know anyone deployed overseas to a forward location with no facilities,
forget about sending cookies or books or anything like that- just send baby wipes.
Your very smelly and grateful military will thank you for it.
So I worked a baby shower clause into this challenge, and every three days I'll be allowed
to wipe groin, butt, and armpits with baby wipes because, I mean you gotta have some
hygiene in life.
For the rest of me though, not a drop of water will touch my skin, and since it hardly ever
rains in Los Angeles that's a guarantee you can count on.
See you in seven days, youtube.
Day 7: The girlfriend was definitely suspicious- is suspicious, I should say.
She left without asking what, if any, challenge there was now, but she did say that I was
smelling a bit ripe when she kissed me goodbye at the airport.
She's been texting me asking what the challenge is, and I didn't want to lie to her so I just
told her that she didn't want to know.
Thankfully she's filming twelve plus hour days so she's typically too exhausted to push
the issue.
It wont surprise anyone for me to say this, but I smell.
It's interesting though, because at first you really do smell quite bad, but then suddenly
its like your body achieves some sort of smell-equilibrium.
A smellibrium.
Or maybe I've just gotten use to the smell myself.
I've decided that this month the only days I'll exercise are the days I'm allowed to
take a baby wipe shower, and I realize that's kind of cheating but hey, I do still have
to leave the house and run errands or meet with people you know.
Of course deodorant and cologne go a long way in those cases, and I've definitely been
doing more handshakes than hugs lately.
Not much else to report to be honest.
Day 14: My girlfriend's best friend came by the house today quite unexpectedly.
She said that she was here to borrow something from her but was really vague with the details
and just said that she'd been told it was in the hallway closet.
I was immediately suspicious because A) my girlfriend is an evil mastermind and it doesn't
matter how busy or far away she is, if something is up she has to know what, and B)
my girlfriend really is an evil mastermind, I am not joking.
I saw through the transparent ploy, and it doesn't help that the friend kept looking
around the house as if expecting to find some freak show that was part of some sadistic
internet challenge.
I am also lucky that today was a baby wipe shower day, so my secret is safe.
I sent the girlfriend a text telling her to stop spying on me and she just sent back,
and I quote: suspicious face emoji.
I catch whiffs of myself sometimes when the wind turns outside and I smell...
I mean definitely not good but not awful.
I am incredibly itchy though, specially in the groin.
That's no surprise given that sweat tends to accumulate there a great deal, followed
by infection if you're not careful.
I wonder if my baby wipe showers are going to be enough to keep things under control
down there.
I gotta tell you, I'm feeling pretty gross and really limiting the amount of time I spend
out of the house.
Luckily skype is a thing and I can reschedule almost all of my meetings to skype calls.
Thank you technology.
Day 21: Another of the girlfriend's friends came by the apartment two days ago.
I didn't let her in, I just peered out of the front blinds like some very smelly criminal
as she knocked on the door until she quit and walked away.
Even hundreds of miles away, the girlfriend is persistent.
But not nearly sneaky enough.
Ok, this is bad.
I definitely got a rash in my groin area spreading down my thighs and I'm starting to seriously
question continuing with this challenge.
I know it's not that big a deal, just really itchy, but it's definitely extremely gross.
I can't believe that people actually live like this, by choice I mean.
I miss you, my dear, wonderful shower.
I was a fool for years, never appreciating what I had available to me at the twist of
a knob.
Loss was my cruel teacher, and every day since I've been instructed on how good I had it,
how good you were to me, and how little I appreciated it.
Please forgive me, shower.
I promise to appreciate and adore you, and to rinse your soap scum every day.
I think I smell too bad even for the dog, because he's definitely not been cuddling
up to me the way he typically does at night.
That's a pretty damning turn of events coming from an animal who literally can't stop himself
from smelling dog butts the first chance he gets.
Of course he doesn't smell like a rose either, because he's an absolute maniac around water
and will utterly destroy the bathroom unless you physically put him in the shower with
you, close the doors, and bathe him that way.
So turns out this one month no shower challenge was for the both of us, but unlike me I now
for a fact he likes to smell stinky given the many, many times I have to chase him away
from rolling around in god knows what at the park.
This rash thing though is definitely going to have to be addressed, and luckily I know
exactly what to do.
See my time in the military didn't just teach me about not showering, but what to do in
these situations, and the answer is rubbing alcohol.
It burns like all the seven hells, but wiping down with rubbing alcohol destroys the surface
layer infection which causes the rash.
So tonight, I'm going to set my groin on fire and kill this before it gets any worse.
I really, really hope you appreciate what I do for you, youtube.
Day 30: Girlfriend came home two days ago and I finally had to tell her, though to be
honest I think she probably knew the moment she took her first whiff of me.
I've been banned from sleeping in the bedroom and she made me clean all the bed linens before
she'd sleep in our bed.
Also I had to Febreeze it down completely, then she took the febreeze from me and sprayed
me with it liberally and told me I wasn't allowed to cuddle her until, and I quote,
“This stupid challenge is over and you go back to normal and by the way you're so lucky
I wasn't here for any of this nonsense or you'd be living in a hotel.”
She didn't call my job stupid though the way she typically does, and that's how I know
she missed me.
She's secretly a huge softy.
A terrifying, scheming, evil mastermind of a softie.
So the rash I had a week ago disappeared thanks to the rubbing alcohol treatment, which I'm
pretty sure doesn't count as a shower but let me tell you, it feels very much like showering
your groin with a flamethrower.
I did notice red blotches popping up under my armpits, which I suspect is another future
rash in the making but thankfully today I got to shower so I fully expect those'll be
going away soon.
All in all, I definitely don't recommend not showering for a full month, it's going to
make you smell terrible and kind of affect your mood too, although I think that was just
the side effect of me avoiding leaving the house as much as I could.
When I was a kid my mom used to tell me that I had enough dirt behind my ears to grow potatoes,
and well, mom, this time you might actually be right.
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to enjoy the longest shower of my life and scrub from
head to toe so I can reclaim my right to sleep in my own bed.
A man's home is his kingdom after all, though in my case it's obvious I'm just renting it
from my girlfriend.
Want to see my do more challenges?
Check out our other video, I ate the hottest pepper in the World!
Thanks for watching and We’ll see you next time!