Death comes to us all when we game, presenting us with anger-inducing Game Over screens and
the feeling of defeat. Sometimes, those deaths are well-deserved, but others are just plain
dumb, the result of stupidity or simply bad luck. Oh, and just make note that some of
these deaths can be pretty gruesome and are not exactly safe for work. Unless you work
as a butcher or something.
Death by Cuccos
We'll start off with a classic. If you've been gaming for a while, then you've probably
played the Legend of Zelda series. And if you're familiar with Link's adventures, then
you're probably also familiar with his many enemies. It turns out, however, that the humble
chicken is a foe that can give even Ganon a run for his money. Antagonizing a Cucco
can bring down a fowl doom upon our intrepid hero. Don't poke the chickens. They will poke
back—with a vengeance, and across platforms. They do not forgive, and they do not forget…
until you leave the village, at least.
Hit and Run
There's a wide arsenal of available weaponry in Grand Theft Auto V, ranging from small
firearms to the death-bringing Rhino Tank, and with so many tools at your disposal, you'd
think that the dumbest way to die in this game would involve some kind of rocket launcher
mishap or a grenade bouncing back, right? Nope.
Just like real life, it turns out that all you need to suffer a meaningless death is
to be on the street at the wrong place and time, because non-player characters have no
problem committing a remorseless hit and run. This is why we look both ways before crossing
the street...to kill a guy with an uzi.
Waterslide of death
The 2013 reboot of Tomb Raider introduced us to a young Lara Croft, who was only just
becoming the hardy adventurer we know today. Lara suffers many hardships and fights against
enemies on Yamatai Island, but no amount of shimmying and shooting can save her from the
treacherous terrain. Every now and then, there's a section of the game that has Croft tumbling
down a steep hill or being washed downstream in violent rapids. If you aren't careful and
fail to steer her towards safety, Lara will meet an extraordinarily grim end. Look away
now, kids.
"Oh no!"
Maybe just stick to tombs next time.
Overcooked Grenades
Anyone who’s played a first-person shooter within the last few years should be familiar
with the concept of "cooking" a grenade. This involves holding an unpinned grenade in your
hand for a bit before chucking it at your enemy so that it explodes on impact instead
of bouncing around on the ground. Sometimes, though, players forget the whole "throw it
at the enemy" part. Once you've overcooked a grenade, chances are that you’re the one
who’s going to be well done.
(boom)
Explosives have a way of doing more damage to your dignity than your body, as we’ll
see in our next example.
Rocket Jump Fail
The rocket jump is a skill employed by many advanced players in Team Fortress 2. The Soldier,
as dimwitted as he is, can use his rocket launcher to propel himself forward by firing
it at his feet and jumping at the same time. It’s a technique that many players master,
even though it can actually damage or kill you, either from the blast or jumping so high
that your legs break upon your return to Earth. Unfortunate players can also launch themselves
over cliffs, which is humiliating, especially when the game announces that you've fallen
to a clumsy death.
Careless Package
Getting a small killstreak and receiving a care package in the Call of Duty series is
a pretty good feeling. This incentive gives players more of a cause to play smart and
stay alive, but sometimes, players end up being killed by their own care packages, which
are known to drop out of the sky hard and fast. There are few things more embarrassing
than being killed by your own reward… except for the instant replay you’re treated to
moments later.
Fire Walk
This one is a no-brainer, but many players still need to be told that fire will kill
them. In World of Warcraft's dungeons and raids, bosses usually cover the ground with
fire, acid, or some other kind of goop that reduces your health. A dungeon run could be
going exceptionally well but quickly turn into a huge mess if someone isn't paying attention
to where they're standing. A good rule of thumb is that if it looks like it could kill
you, it probably will, so do yourself a favor and don’t stand in fire. Unless, of course,
you’re going for the suicidal “Stood in Fire” achievement, in which case, knock
yourself out. Literally.
Speaking of playing with fire...
Romancing Morinth
One small, stupid, kinda gross choice in Mass Effect 2 can end your adventure immediately.
As Commander Shepard, you have the option of trying to seduce any of your crewmates,
including the strange and dangerous Morinth, who’s kind of like an alien succubus. At
one point, she admits to Shepard that she absorbs the life force from her lovers and
leaves them black widow-style, empty and dead. Shepard can pay her a visit and try to engage
in a little intergalactic hanky panky, but he’ll immediately suffer a soul-sucking
death, which is probably not worth it. Probably. So just keep it in your pants and save the
galaxy instead.
Impatient Sonic
Patience is a virtue... except when you’re playing Sonic CD. If you leave your controller
alone and let Sonic stand still for a little under three minutes, he'll get so sick of
you that he’ll kill himself by jumping out of the game, followed by some really creepy
funeral music. See for yourself:
"I'm outa here!"
"Yay!"
As far as video game deaths go, this one feels like one of the most offbeat and unnecessary.
Why couldn’t he just skip rope with his own head like Earthworm Jim?
Quick Time Events
We've finally reached the bane of many a player's existence, and the worst of all video game
evils: the quick time event. In Resident Evil 5 and 6, as well as countless other modern
games, you're occasionally presented with an obstacle that requires you to press specific
buttons at exactly the right time. Failure to do so results in an immediate death.
The later Resident Evil games are so bogged down by these unnecessary quick time events
that it's impossible to avoid at least one or two brutal deaths starring your favorite
zombie slayers. You'll be caught up in a cutscene and be totally unprepared for the sudden event,
leading to a Game Over and the annoyance of having to watch the same scene over again
until you get to the part where you died. Why are we pressing ‘A’ to run instead
of, you know, actually running anyhow? You’d better train up your reflexes, or you'll end
up reliving your failures over and over again.
Thanks for watching! Subscribe to our YouTube channel to watch more videos like the one
you just saw. And leave us a comment to let us know the dumbest ways you’ve ever died
in a video game...