Number 8: Rats In 2013, a toilet rat
terrorized a South London couple, keeping them from their own bathroom for 8 straight months;
just one example of how these notoriously nasty rodents can, and do, make themselves
at home in your bathrooms for the long run. Unfortunately, pests in the plumbing aren’t the
stuff of urban legends. Rats love your toilet and routinely scurry up empty pipes to toilet bowls.
Once they’re in there, there’s virtually no easy way to get them out. There are a few factors that
will determine whether you’re unlucky enough to get a rat in the bowl at some point. Rats are far
more likely to infiltrate basement and first-floor apartments, and if you have finicky plumbing that
runs dry, you could be creating a superhighway for the rodents. Unfortunately for the rats,
the best way to deal with these furry nuisances is to flush them back down the bowl, commando-style.
If they come back for round 2, you might need to call in the experts!
Number 7: Possums In 2008, a Melbourne, Australia man discovered a
possum in his toilet, recounting the traumatizing event as looking “like the toilet had given
birth.” The land down under is home to its fair share of bizarre animal encounters, but this one
certainly takes the Marmite, as Australian possums can grow up to 5 pounds. The Aussie was just lucky
that he didn’t discover the possum in another way; through a bite to the bum! The terrified
creature was stuck in the bowl hole, and had to be yanked from the pipes by the local animal rescue.
The question remains, how did it get in there in the first place? The unfortunate marsupial
likely found itself swept up in a perfect storm of misfortune, dry plumbing, and a terrible sense
of direction. Combine that with lousy eyesight and you can see where it wound up on the wrong
end of the porcelain throne. Luckily, the drenched animal was freed and made a beeline for outside.
We are willing to bet that it will never go poking around unfamiliar pipes ever again.
Number 6: Spiders Small spiders are bad enough, but when a giant
Huntsman makes its home in your personal throne, you have a catastrophe on your hands.
In March 2019, an Australian family found themselves with an unwelcome and terrifying
new houseguest. A giant Huntsman spider laid claim to their toilet, creepily emerging whenever
anyone decided to flush. Although they are not venomous, Huntsman spiders can span up to 12
inches, which is an entire ruler’s length of spine-tingling terror. What’s more,
Huntsman toilet dwellers are not rare; in fact, they’re downright ordinary. Once the giant
Huntsman story broke, fellow Aussies began sharing pictures of their own pesky Huntsman spiders;
some clinging to the bowl or lurking behind the toilet tank itself. If you don’t live in
Australia, you’re unlikely to cross paths with a Huntsman spider while taking a midnight wee,
but you could easily find another creepy-crawly in the bowl. The stone-cold truth is that spiders
love toilets. They like the bowl water and will occasionally even build their webs there. Contrary
to what the children’s song says, they don’t come crawling up the drain. Instead, the spiders that
you find in your toilet, bathtub, or sink were in your house already. If you find a spider in
your toilet, you can simply flush it down, where it will drown in the U-bend. Alternately, you can
always snap some pics and try to turn it into the viral star that it might be destined to be.
Number 5: Iguanas Iguanas are the
largest reptile in the Americas, with an average length of 6-and-a-half feet,
which is just two inches shy of your average basketball player’s height. Although these
creatures are beautiful to look at, they’re hella spiny and notoriously cranky if confronted,
not exactly the kinds of unexpected guests that you want popping up in your toilet bowl.
Unfortunately for one Palmetto, Florida resident, that’s exactly what happened in 2017.
She witnessed the massive reptile slithering up out of her toilet bowl. Terrified, she smashed it
back down, then put two heavy cement blocks on the lid and closed the bathroom door. While we don’t
know if iguanas can move cement blocks, they are heavy and stout. They have a mouth full of sharp
teeth and hefty jaws and can certainly pack a big punch. Unfortunately, this Floridian’s scary saga
is far from unique. An average of 5 iguanas per year find themselves trapped in Florida’s toilets,
and those are only the recorded ones! Florida is essentially half-submerged underwater,
with most of its land covered in wetlands or the famous Intracoastal salt marshes that stretch
between the Gulf and Atlantic sides of the state. While the Sunshine State may conjure up images of
Mickey Mouse ears and vast sundrenched beaches, the reality is a whole hell of a lot swampier.
It’s the perfect breeding ground for lizards that may, or may not, be coming to a toilet near you.
Number 4: Squirrels Toilet squirrels in Tallahassee are a thing,
proving once and for all that “Florida Man” isn’t the state’s craziest feature. In 2008,
a Tallahassee woman found a squirrel paddling in her porcelain throne; a horrifying image when you
consider the fact that squirrels can get up to 20 inches long, or the average length of 5 squares of
toilet paper laid end to end. The woman speculated that the swimming squirrel fell into the toilet
from an open roof vent. Other people outside of the great state of Florida have also reported
finding squirrels in their toilets. In 2010, an Oklahoma woman snapped on her bathroom light
to find a similar situation, and in 2013, another toilet squirrel was discovered. After being freed
from the can, the third toilet squirrel allegedly had a run-in with another squirrel outside,
adding another layer of strangeness to this already unbelievable story. Although they can
fall in through open skylights or vents, most people believe that squirrels get into your
toilet the old fashioned way; through open sewer drains, into your bathroom pipes, and
straight into your nightmares.
Number 3: Tegus Tegus are 5 feet long, or the
width of your average ping pong table. They are aggressive, highly-intelligent reptiles that might
just make your toilet bowl their new home. These South American lizards are very predatory and
territorial, which means that if they lay claim to your throne, they might not leave without a fight.
Although some people think that tegus make fantastic and loyal pets, most people don’t relish
the thought of a massive lizard with an attitude problem in their homes. What’s worse than finding
a tegu in the toilet? Finding one while you’re potty training your kid. In 2005, a Norwegian
child was doing his business on the throne when a tegu wriggled up through the drain hole,
terrifying his mother and probably traumatizing the kid for the rest of his natural-born life.
Imagine being an adult and having that happen. Now think of your 3-year-old self,
finally overcoming your fear of the potty, seeing an enormous South American predatory beast
come rising up out of the shallow depths. Number 2: Bats
Bats can squeeze through holes the size of a dime, so it should come as no surprise
that if these winged rodents want to get into your bathroom, they can do so with no problem at all.
Although bats usually chill out in the attic; some prefer a wetter environment, namely your toilet.
If you’re not inclined to roll the dice with butt rabies, you should peek
into the bowl before doing your business, especially if you live in an older house.
In 2015, a Canadian man was unpleasantly surprised to find a brown bat in his toilet bowl,
but he’s far from alone. Plenty of people all over the world have discovered these nocturnal invaders
lurking in their showers, sinks, or toilets. While you can theoretically flush bats down,
it might be more humane to simply show them the door. Open all of the bathroom windows,
dim the lights, and firmly shut the door, and your vampiric friend should take its own leave.
Number 1: Snakes In 2016 in Chachoengsao Province, Thailand,
the unluckiest man in the world had his penis speared by a python as he was on the throne.
Although he survived the trauma, officials had to disassemble the toilet to wrangle the snake free,
and this is just one of the many incidents where snakes have slithered into the last
place where you want them to be. In 2015, San Diego animal control discovered a 5-and-a-half
foot long Colombian rainbow boa lurking in the loo of an office building. For reference, that’s
a snake as long as your average male is tall. Fortunately, the San Diego toilet snake didn’t
latch onto anyone, but countless others weren’t so lucky. In 2013, a non-venomous snake bit an
Israeli man on the penis. In 2014, a 6-foot cobra terrorized a Mumbai family from their toilet bowl.
In 2012, a Staten Island man spotted a California kingsnake lounging inside of his porcelain throne.
In fact, snakes are so common in toilets all over the world that it makes good sense to
check the bowl before you do your business. Thanks for watching! Would you rather share
your bathroom with a Huntsman spider or find a brown bat in the bowl? Let us know in the comments
section below.