(whoosh)
- We all want a quick fix,
but does one really exist?
Actually yes.
(upbeat music)
Welcome to the series,
I'm Alyssia, and I'm so glad you're here.
Before we get started,
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and it's completely free at mindovermunch.com/foodfreedom.
Okay, so goals,
we all have them,
we want to reach them
and we want to reach them quickly.
A quick fix is defined as an easy remedy or solution,
especially a temporary one,
which fails to address underlying problems,
AKA they don't work.
Now ask yourself, why do you want a quick fix?
I love quick fixes,
if they actually work.
I've always been drawn to them.
Now as humans, you know about the nature of the brain.
So we go toward what's good, what's comfortable.
And we go away from what's bad
or what's uncomfortable.
Sorry, my writing is terrible.
It's not going to get any better.
We think our goals have all the answers, right?
So if our comfort is there
and we're here,
we think if we get to it,
we get to the reward of our comfort
then we don't have to be here where we are now,
which is uncomfortable
and in pain and suffering.
Now, like we've talked about the entire series,
we have to address the root.
The problem is,
quick fixes don't address the root.
So for instance, stress leading to eating.
If it's emotions or stress that aren't dealt with,
and it leads to emotional eating or overeating,
that can lead to dieting
or health problems or whatever.
If we focus on the food,
then we're not really addressing the root,
we're addressing the symptom.
So we must address the root,
which is the stress, the emotion.
I propose a perspective shift.
So between where you are now
and where your goal is,
we have all of these obstacles on the way.
I don't know why they're all looking like peanuts.
So those are all the obstacles in between here
and where I want to be, the peanuts.
I love obstacles
because I know on the other side of my obstacles
lies my opportunity.
Now, in this way,
the obstacles are my opportunity.
Most people don't love obstacles though
because they're really uncomfortable.
Again, nature of the brain, right?
So how did I learn to love obstacles?
Because I haven't always.
I trained my brain to be okay with the discomfort,
which we've been talking about all series long,
all month long.
So what happens if you're not okay with discomfort?
So the obstacle is here
and we try to go around it.
We're like, ah, there has to be a way
to not deal with this obstacle.
There's gotta be, not just a less painful way,
but a faster way.
We want to avoid what's uncomfortable.
It actually doesn't take us closer to our goal.
And often, because we get so off track,
we end up a very confused
and we just kind of end up circling back where we,
you know, ending up back where we started.
And we might try another way
but then we still end up here with that obstacle in the way.
Now I propose the fastest way
to get from here to here
is actually to just go through.
The fastest way out is through.
This is actually my hack.
It's a perspective shift.
Now this is scary.
It's hard,
it's against the nature of the brain
but it doesn't need to be dreadful.
We make it take longer
because of our resistance to what is,
and what we resist persists.
Resisting the obstacle keeps us stuck.
But if you're open to the obstacle
and seeing what it is,
then you get to go through it.
- Oh yeah.
- This is mindfulness.
And this is what meditation does.
It's not about relieving anxiety.
It is about learning to see what's right in front of me now,
what's here in this moment
and how can I be okay with it?
No matter how uncomfortable it is.
Can we be curious,
what is this obstacle really?
What's it about?
This is practice.
And everyday that I sit down and meditate,
I practice being uncomfortable just a little bit
but it's not just like an intellectual understanding.
It's an actual rewiring of the brain,
that neuroplasticity that we talked about,
and it helped me start to see my obstacles as opportunities.
Now, mindfulness comes with a few rules we've talked about.
The nonjudgmental awareness of the present moment.
Judgment is a block.
Judgment is resistance.
We can't be mindful
or find piece if judgment is in the way.
And we also talked about the antidote to judgment,
which is self-compassion.
I said this earlier in the series,
would you tell your friend stop being lazy
and go to the gym?
No, but you say it to yourself.
Why do we talk that way to ourselves?
So the self-compassion isn't being extra nice to you.
It's just being a regular amount of nice to you
like you would to other people
'cause you're a nice human being.
Now the awareness part of mindfulness is seeing clearly
we can't make changes without awareness.
We must see what is here now.
What's working?
What's not working?
What are these obstacles?
What are they about?
Most of us are too afraid to look
and see what we're doing wrong
because we judge ourselves.
Sometimes we feel,
I'm like I can feel these obstacles are here
but I don't even want to look at them.
So we have to be present in this present moment.
We have to be present to see clearly,
if we're ruminating about the past,
if we're anxious about the future,
we can't see now clearly.
If I want to run a marathon,
I have to meet myself where I am right now
not where I was two years ago.
You know, not where you're at now.
Your marathon plan
will have to be completely different than mine
because you might be able to go run two
or three miles right now,
but maybe I can only run one.
If I'm on your plan, I'm screwed.
If I want to lose weight, same thing.
So for this hack to work,
this quickest fix from here to there,
we have to be mindful, nonjudgmental, aware, and present.
We have to practice self compassion
and we must take responsibility for our health
and our situation.
You know, we're all given what we are.
Some of it's good and some of it's bad
but the only way we get to somewhere else
is acknowledging where we're at right now.
One exercise I love to do
when I feel resistant to an obstacle,
is shift my perspective.
Not necessarily, you know what can I love
about what's happening now?
Although maybe I do recommend reading Byron Katie's
"Loving What Is"
but rather how can I choose what's happening now?
This leads to ownership, power, confidence,
less judgment, more self-compassion, more presence,
more willingness to see yourself.
The more I get to know me,
all the good and the bad,
the more I get excited to learn about the bad
to see the obstacles.
Because I know if I'm willing to look,
it will show me the way through so that I can grow.
Okay, speaking of Byron Katie,
I do think one of her tools is really, really great,
and it's called who's business.
She says there are three kinds of business,
yours, mine and God's.
Most of our problems would go away
if we stayed in our own business.
But most of the time we're caught up
in somebody else's business
or by God's business.
You know, she just means the universe.
We can't control all the external circumstances.
We can't control the weather,
we can't control everything that happens,
and we certainly can't control other people.
We only have control of our business.
And even that we don't have control of all of it
but this is actually the quickest fix,
being willing to stay in your business
and see what's in front of you now.
Because trying to evade,
you're going to go in circles rather than move forward.
That doesn't mean it's easy
but it is the fastest way through to stop resisting.
So meet yourself where you're at
because where you are right now is totally fine.
It's great, it's workable.
Where you were yesterday
and where you might be tomorrow
doesn't really matter right now in this present moment.
Okay, so share in the comments
how do you face your fears?
What do you think about obstacles?
How do you deal with discomfort?
Share any tips or anything you've learned?
And also if you think there's someone
that would benefit from this video,
please share it with them
or share on your social media.
It means the world to me.
Thank you so much for being here.
I'll be back tomorrow for another video.
And remember, it's all a matter of mind over munch
I guess today it's all a matter of mind over matter.
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