When it comes to dating, there is a whole host of reasons why the situation does or
doesn't work out. And while you maybe able to pinpoint in particular situations why it
didn't go the way you wanted it to, there may be things that you're doing
that are standing in your way of securing that date.
Hey guys, it's Lindsay with The Attractive Man. And today, I'm gonna give you
5 Reasons Why Some Guys Seem to Always Get the Dates and Others Don't.
#5 And that is your appearance. Now I know I already did a video about this.
If you want either a refresher on all of the things that you can do to enhance your
appearance or if you have not seen the video yet and you want to know what I'm
talking about, make sure you click down below.
So the biggest thing is smell. Having a positive reaction to the way you smell will also
help have a positive reaction to getting that date or even securing the second date.
Just making sure that you don't have on too little cologne or even too
much cologne. Just keep it in that middle range and I promise you, she's going to
have a very positive olfactory memory of you. The next thing I'm going to talk
about is just overall appearance and just looking like you put forth the effort.
Having that first impression is a big, big deal. So really just putting
forth that extra effort like grooming your nails, taking a little time to make
sure nothing is wrinkled on your clothes and really just looking like overall.
You put yourself together this morning and you've made that extra effort and I know
that some of you guys are gonna say "Lindsay, I work at a place that I
don't have to really dress up, I don't have to wear a suit every day." That's
great that's fine, there's nothing wrong with that. You can still put forth just a
little extra effort and it'll go a long way. Even if you're not headed out for a
date, maybe you're going out with your buddies or you're just going to work but
you're gonna meet people for drinks afterwards, you honestly have no idea
where you could meet your soulmate or where you can meet a beautiful woman, in general,
that you want to spend any amount of time with.
#4 is your manners. Now, before you come at me and say
"Lindsay, I know manners," "I was raised right,"
"I know how to chew with my mouth closed," "I know, I know."
I actually once had a friend who met a guy on Bumble. She was
completely smitten with him, couldn't stop talking about him. I heard about
this guy every day for probably a week and a half and she was so excited to go
on a date with him. She bought a new outfit. She literally went all out for
this date because she was so excited for this guy. And, it did not go well. He would
ask her a question and then before she could even answer, he'd be like "well, I
only ask because for me" and then he would go into a 30-minute dissertation
about his experience with the subject.
And she, overall, just felt like he didn't care about her or her opinion at all and she never went
out with the guy again. So just being mindful that you're not interrupting
someone when they're talking is a really big deal. You really only have one chance
to make this first impression so you don't want to let anything stand in your
way of securing either the first date or the second date or any date after that
for that matter. Now, this next thing might seem like a no-brainer but
honestly, being rude to waiters and waitresses is something that I have seen
on more dates than I care to talk about.
I've had so many guys be so nice to me
but when the waitress comes or the waiter comes over talking to a cashier
or even just people on the street, they're so rude almost as if they're
putting on a facade with me and it makes me feel like their kindness towards me
or any good things that I get from them are disingenuous because they can't be
nice to the other people that were around.
#3 is your listening skills. Being a good listener is a huge deal for women I once
went out with a guy who every five seconds kept checking his phone at the table. I honestly could
not have been more turned off and I honestly, felt like "why am I here,?" "why are
we on this date.? If there are a million other people you'd rather be talking to,
I'd rather you go talk to them and not have wasted my time. Unless, it's an
absolute emergency, put the phone away. Another thing that's really important is
to make eye contact when the woman is talking on the date. I've had a lot of
guys, they'll be talking to me, I'll be answering a question that they just
asked me and I'll just get a lot of this; "mmm-hmm, yeah,"
"no, yeah," "no, yeah, totally."
I hate that. Women want to feel like we are the center of attention and that all of
your attention is on us when you've asked us out on a date or if you're
trying to ask us out on a date. We don't want to be an option, we want to be the
option as in the only option that you're interested in having. So, really, being
mindful of where your attention is focused and your eyesight is focused, is
going to play a huge role in your active listening. Another great way to show that
you are actively listening to us on the date and being a good listener is to ask
follow-up questions, getting deeper into the subject, finding out what else we
think about that particular subject and not just immediately changing to the
next thing. It'll show us that you have a vested interest in what we're saying
that will go a long way with any woman in your life.
So #2 is being in support of women. I'm not saying that you have to immediately love
everything and anything made by women or created by women just because it's created by women.
And I'm not saying that you can't be critical of works of art that are made
by women. But guys who are completely opposed to seeing anything whether it be
a movie or a television show or an art exhibit or even reading a book just
because it's made by a woman. That's a huge turnoff for us as women in a
romantic relationship women want to be seen as an equal partner. So, when you say
"I don't support that because it was made by a woman,"
or "I don't support that because it's female centric."
To us that says; "why would you support what I do for work, then?"
We want to see that we are just as equally important to you as
anybody else in the world is. This also plays into how you speak about other
women, especially if you're talking about our friends. I actually had a personal
experience with with a guy I was dating, we had been dating for about a
month and we were on a date and he immediately sat down and started talking
all about how all my friends were bad. And here's all the reasons why they were
bad and it was a huge turnoff for me. Why? One, do you feel the need to tell me this?
and two, like these are the most important women in my life. So if
anything you should be working overtime to find the good in them. This also can
apply to the "ex" conversation and and while I don't think that that's a conversation
you need to have, off the bat, and for a while. How you talk about your exes is
really important to a woman. We noticed that kind of stuff. If you
were talking ill about your ex and saying she's crazy and she's "this" and
she's "that," that's not really fair. And it doesn't make us feel good, and I know a
lot of guys do that because they want to make a woman feel more secure in the
relationship. But it actually doesn't make us feel any more secure. It actually
brings up more issues. I'm not saying don't be honest. Please, don't get me
wrong. I'm just saying, when you do speak about women in your life, that you've had
issues with, whether that be an ex or a friend or anyone, really try and focus on
the lessons you learned rather than the person, especially when you're speaking
to somebody that you're trying to date.
Alright, we have come to it#1 reason why some guys happen to get the date and other guys don't.
And that is your approach. How you approach a woman
is going to play a huge role in how the rest of the interaction with this woman
is gonna go. I honestly had a guy, sit down
so close next to me, he might as well have been in my lap and whisper in my
ear it was creepy and hated it. Don't be the guy that makes a bold move in the
wrong direction. I once was in a bar I was talking to a perfectly nice guy and
this other guy comes up and infront of the other man I'm talking to says,
"hey, when you're done talking to this guy come over to the next bar."
What? No!
Women love when a man is confident enough to approach them but not so
confident, it seems as though you care more about yourself than you do about her.
So make sure that your interaction shows a valued interest in her, her time,
and what she's doing and not just about you and what you want.
Another thing that can kill your approach is being too timid. Now, I know you're thinking
"Lindsay, I can't be too aggressive," "I can't be too timid,"
What am I supposed to do?" I'm not saying you can't have a
little bit of both in your approach. I'm just saying don't take things to an
extreme. For example, I was once at a club and I saw a guy across the bar and he
was so handsome and I really wanted to talk to him
and he just made eye contact at me, all night. That's it, just kept staring at me but
wouldn't approach me and then it just creeps me out.
Now, this one is one I feel like you guys may already know but I think a lot of
guys actually fall into the trap and that is not being genuine. I think
sometimes, it's really hard to have the confidence to approach a woman. I know
it's intimidating, but a lot of guys actually shift the wrong direction and
put on a persona that is completely disingenuous that women can see through.
And so it comes across again as fake, a little creepy, we're not totally sure how
to interpret your intention and therefore, we're not going to accept any
sort of a date from you. Eventually, lies come to the surface and if you're going
to be with this woman long term, you could end up ruining what would be a
terrific relationship. Plus, it's really sexy when a guy can own up to who he is
and be confident and honest about who he is, his age or any other aspects of his
life. Wearing who you are with confidence is the biggest turn-on for women. So,
there you have it. Maybe, you were able to see something that you are doing that
could be sabotaging your potential relationships or maybe you just learn
something new about how to attract more women to yourself. I mean, we all have
traits and habits that we are a little unaware of that could be turning others
off and understanding these traits and habits is the next step to becoming more
self-aware and like psychologist Daniel Coleman says, "Being self-aware is our
next step to having emotional intelligence and emotional intelligence
is what really helps us when it comes to our romantic relationships and
interpersonal relationships. It's really honestly very simple we as women want to
know that we are your top priority and if you keep that in mind
when you're approaching women or you're on a date you're gonna be amazing. If you
liked this video make sure you give it a thumbs up and if you have any questions
comments or ideas for our next video that you want to stay on this channel
leave it in the comments below and if you are not already subscribed, why not
go ahead and hit that subscribe button. If you are looking for a little bit more
help when it comes to your confidence approaching women and making sure you
get that date, we have a confidence cheat sheet that Matt has created for you guys.
It'll be linked in the description below.You can go ahead and download that there.
Also, if you're interested in some boot camps you want to take this whole dating
thing to the next level, make sure you sign up for those .That link will also be
in the description below and until the next video. Bye!