Hey guys! Right now, I'm in the midst of trying to watch through movies from 2011 to make my list.
If you are confused as to why I would be making my 2011 list now, then watch my 2010 video.
I explain it there and I'll also explain it once I actually do the review.
So I watched quite a few movies and now I have my list together and...
By together, I mean I've watched the movies that I'm considering for my list once.
Now I'm gonna be watching those less than twenty amount of movies for a second time,
and deciding where they're going and which ones I'm completely getting rid of and which ones I'm keeping.
Because I don't feel as if you've really watched a movie unless you've watched it twice. There's a lot of things that...
There's a lot of misconceptions that you could have if you're just basing it on first impressions.
Like, when I saw "The Amazing Spider-Man", it should have been 0.5 less than what I said it was. I hate giving things numbers. Anyway...
So... There are a few things that won't be on my list, like "Jiro Dreams of Sushi".
It was good, but it was just food porn and nothing else. It made me really hungry. It was lots of sushi.
It's just some guy that's like an 85 year old and he's in Tokyo and he makes sushi and that's the whole movie and when...
I don't know. [mumbling]
"17 Girls". It's where seventeen teenage girls from a high school... They all decide to get pregnant at the same time.
And I liked it, but at the same time, I decided not to put it on the list and I kind of stopped liking it after a certain point in time
when I realised that they weren't really acting like girls. It seemed unnatural after a point where it's like,
if those were adults having these conversations or even acting that way,
then it might be a bit believable or not as distracting, but then I realised:
"Wait, these are seventeen high school girls and they all have the level of intelligence to decide to all get pregnant at the same time,
'cause they think it'll be really cool and they'll be like: 'yeah, we'll babysit each other's kids and shit.' and..."
It was a movie of watching stupid people make stupid decisions. Moving on.
"Life in a Day", produced by...
... the not dead one.
Ridley Scott.
Piece of shit. Piece of garbage. Horrible, horrible. I remember when they were like:
"Send us your Youtube videos. Make a Youtube video of this day!" And they picked a full moon...
... so that, like, there would be eight million people just sending in a shot of the moon.
Some guy's, like, in an elevator, like: "This is me in an elevator right now! This is gonna be famous!"
And, like, all of these individual videos are just so, like...
... not only boring, but pointless and trivial and none of it can possibly be natural, because, like, every conversation you have...
You're filming it with the knowledge that you're gonna be sending it in to be in a movie.
So all of these, like, parents filming their kids have a tantrum, or, like, first day of shaving or, like: "I'm waking up in the morning!"
Everybody's doing this horrible, like: "I'm posing for this!" and even the conversations where I'm like:
"I don't believe that's even how you talk to your kid. This is how you talk to your kid when you're filming yourself talk to your kid.
This is how you want to present yourself to the world, this is not how you act."
And that bothered me and they put this, like, horrible fucking, like: "It's so sad and there's a lot more to it" score,
you know, where it's, like, piano music and slow and you're like: "This is a thinking person's movie.", but it wasn't. It was a piece of shit.
"Thin Ice". I was decently excited for this. It was very Coen Brothers-esque
in the sense that it was kind of the same setting and theme as "Fargo" of like:
"This is kind of a crime movie and it's kind of funny and kind of serious at the same time and it's winter."
I definitely enjoyed myself enough to watch through it...
... but then they fucked up the ending so bad.
So, so bad that I was sitting at a seven the whole time, like: seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, FOUR.
That was how bad the ending was. It was one of those M. Night Shyamalan, like: "Secretly, everything was connected!"
It was bad. It was bad, bad, bad.
Bad.
"Megan is missing". A secret comedy gem that nobody really knows about.
It's not something I see myself making a full review on.
The premise is that everything you're seeing is a sort of after the fact, like,
police custody evidence files of these conversations that these girls were having on their webcam, on their cell phones,
and apparently just some kid with the fucking camera that went around the whole party scene,
and then the murderer man filming the torture at the end for the last twenty minutes. Anyway...
Are we supposed to believe that somehow every Skype conversation that you have is being recorded?
That every time you're doing, like, Facetime on your phone or Skype or whatever,
that it leaves some sort of recording of the conversation that you're having?
And you can tell that they always filmed the two at two separate times,
and then one of them, like, basically watched the other as they were filming it,
'cause the pacing in the conversations was horrible.
Worst acting of the year, worst acting of 2011, worst directing of 2011, but it's bad in the way that, like, it's way too obviously bad.
Like, if I made a review of it, I wouldn't be saying anything that you couldn't already tell. Like...
Fuck, what kind of fond do you think you're using? Do you want to look professional? Who are these actors? They all suck.
Everything sucks about it, and uhm...
Yeah, so I hope you enjoyed hearing my opinion on these movies that you've probably never heard of,
but I've got some really good ones to recommend to you once I finished making that list,
and trust me, I've watched so many fucking movies recently that I'm about to kill myself.
It's destroying me and I've also got a fucking job, because I can't afford to not afford my rent. Get it?
Ad money is now being generated to me, because I found a kind of loophole. Link to the Facebook page of YMS below,
where I gave a more detailed description, but this video is already too long for a Quickie anyway.
Long story short: I'm running ads on my reviews now, fuck yeah!
So all I gotta do is basically find a way that I can market myself towards a twelve year old audience and then I'll be fine.
So be prepared to see basically anything intelligent removed from my videos.
I'll probably use the Youtube editor to just remove all of the arguments from any of my videos
that might not be simple enough for people to understand that are twelve.
So expect to see a lot more silly faces,
and expect to hear a lot more screaming.
That's how ads work nowadays.
[Subtitles by Abel Boeschoten]