[Anthony] But first, let me take a selfie!
[Ian] SHUT UUUP!
My strange addiction
My name is Anthony and everyone keeps telling
me I'm addicted to taking selfies.
[scoffs] They must be addicted to being stupid
because I hardly ever take selfies.
[camera snaps]
Anthony's life partner, Ian, is the only one
that knows the full extend of Anthony's problem.
He invited us over to see if we could help
before Anthony's addiction goes too far.
First off, uh, I'm not Anthony's life partner.
Just to get that out of the way.
But, anyway, yes, he is definitely addicted
to taking selfies.
I mean, everyday he's taking shirtless photos
of himself with his cat.
And when he's not at home, he's taking
shirtless selfies of himself
with just other random cats on the street!
Yeah, gotta get my cat selfie!
It's not even real!
- [Anthony grunts] - [old woman] Aw, Pussy!
- Oooh, heh. - [camera snaps]
Anthony spends 17 hours a day deciding which filter he's going to use.
That's over 6,000 hours a week.
That's almost the same height as a Brontosaurus.
I'm just afraid his problem is spiraling
out of control.
#IanTalkin'Smack!
- [camera snaps] - [sighing]
He's even taking part in all the stupid
new selfie trends.
#Aftersex!
#Afterpooooop!
#AfterWorkoutBuuuutt!
#AfterMurder.
In an act of desperation, Ian has enlisted
Anthony's girlfriend to help with the intervention.
My mom is not Anthony's girlfriend.
Psh! If I say it enough, it might come true!
Heh hah! #AfterMarriageYou'llBeMySon!
[camera snaps]
They've asked us to leave the room so they can have a heart to heart with Anthony.
But we stayed in the room anyway.
Come on, man! Please stop taking selfies.
I mean, both of us are here
- because we want to help-- - Fine!
I won't take anymore selfies.
Give me the phone then.
[sighing]
Thank you.
And that one!
Anthony has taken 565 Gigabytes worth of selfies.
If Gigabytes were hamburger bites, you could feed 7 million midgets
in New York city.
Hamburgers aren't made of ham and that really confuses me.
Anthony's rehab is going kinda like sh*t.
All you have to do is take a picture of the food
just like any normal Asian would.
♪ [intense music] ♪
I can't! Urgh!
#AfterIEatThisI'mGonnaTakeA #AfterPoopSelfieeeee!
[camera snaps]
So I just need to take a picture of you
with another person, alright?
- [Anthony grunts] - [lady shrieks]
#ICan'tStop!
[camera snaps]
As a last ditch effort, Ian has decided to offer 6 US dollars to make
Anthony stop taking selfies.
I like taking baths with 6 naked Persian m--
G-Goddamn it, Jerry! Don't write that sh-t!
[getting whiny] Mom doesn't know yet!
Alright, I cleared out my entire college fund--
What the hell are you doing?!
I'm gonna cut my body off and take a selfie
of my head just rolling around!
#AfterCuttingMyBodyOffSelfieeee!
Stop!
If you don't do this,
I'll actually be your girlfriend.
Really?!
F*ck no!
Whew.
Hey, Anthony?
This time you've taken it too far.
#ILoveYou!
#NotInAGayWay.
All I ever wanted was for someone to love me.
#NotInAGayWay.
Promise me you'll never take
another selfie again?
Promise!
[melodramatic sobbing]
#I'mTotallyLying. I'm going to keep taking
selfies forever and Ian can't hear me 'cause
- his hearing sucks! - What?
#Nothing.
[camera snaps repetitively]
You know, I'm so glad Anthony finally
got over his addiction.
Maybe now he can actually contribute
to society like I do by taking pictures
of my balls.
Alright, here we--[scoffs]
Who put these freaking balls in the way?!
There we go!
- [camera snaps repetitively] - Mmm-hmm!
Perfect!
If you know someone who's addicted to taking selfies, please send them
this video before it's too late.
Or just tell them to stop being such a narcissistic asshole!
[Ian] Hey, guys. If you wanna see bloopers
from this video and this...
#AllAboardTheScrotBoat!
..click the video on the left.
(Anthony) And if you want to see us play
Pokemon Stadium for the N64, yeah the original one,
click the video on the right.
You'll love it.
Your [Voltzorben] in your pants will use self destruct and explode.
- [laughter] - Bart Asian, use ball punch!
[groaning]
It was super effective!
[Anthony] #ClickTheSubscribeButton AndWe'llLoveYouTillTheDay
ThatWeDieAndWe'llAlwaysLoveYou AndWe'llWriteLettersToYouEveryday
BecauseWeLoveYouExceptWeWon't BecauseWeKindaLoveYou,
ButWeDon'tKnowYouButWuh...We...Uh... ReallyWantYouToSuscribe!
[Ian] Yeah, that one's totally gonna trend on Twitter.