- If I had to guess,
which I do, that's literally the game,
I have to guess.
This is some super rich people (beep).
This one's smaller,
rich people love to make small (beep).
Rich people out here selling this (beep)?
This is a scam!
(classical music)
Hey I'm Issa Rae and I'm about to play
expensive taste test with Cosmo.
So, they're gonna place two items in front of me,
and I have to decide which item is more expensive.
Gonna kill it.
Who's made for this?
Me.
I've been broke with expensive taste for a long time.
Shout out to Azealia.
And I know the finer things,
this palate right here, this tongue can detect so much.
(laughs) Okay?
(light jazz music)
Water?
I do a very bad job with drinking water.
So I'm gonna tell you that.
Already off the bat,
this one is a little carbonated,
has it been sitting out?
Cosmo this is how y'all do?
And this one is just smooth.
The one that's been sitting out tastes great.
What the (beep)?
Like how am I supposed to distinguish?
It's water, it's supposed to taste how it tastes.
Hold on I need to do this again.
I should drink water more often.
This one's, what, like is it, oh
is it like tap water versus bottled water?
Is that what you're doing here?
This looks like it's been in a bottle.
So I'm gonna go with this one
is more expensive.
(buzzer) No?
I lost, I'm proud to lose.
Drink water, this is why you should drink water
all the time.
(light jazz music)
Oh okay you covered the brands.
So, I feel like I saw Rihanna wear these.
So I'mma put these on.
Full disclosure, I hate these glasses
because what are they covering?
The lights are right here so my eyes are distorted.
I can wear 'em like this
but then my lashes keep bumping up against them.
This is some stupid rich people (beep).
But, these on the other hand, they give you more.
(laughs)
Reviewing them for efficiency and that.
I'm gonna be a cheater and say,
brands love to flaunt their (beep) on the cover,
and this has been covered.
If I had to guess, which I do,
that's literally the game I have to guess.
One of these is $130?
I'm gonna have to go with these
only 'cause you covered the brand.
I would never guess otherwise
that these are the $130 glasses.
(ding) Killin it!
(light jazz music)
Oh champagne.
Champagne.
That's how they say it in France.
Okay, so immediately my eyes are telling me,
my eyes are telling me that this is lighter.
And you know, champagne,
when the grapes are light, it's more expensive.
That's science.
(record scratch) Oh, no okay
so I take that back.
My nose is telling me that this smells
like the real champagne
because it's not really champagne
unless it's from Champagne, France.
Did you know that?
You didn't.
So I'm gonna taste this one first.
This is what I'm assuming,
my nose is assuming, is the champagne.
Okay, okay.
Oh no.
So this one tastes a little sweeter you know?
The sweeter the grape, the cheaper the date.
That's what I always say.
So I'm gonna go with this is the real champagne,
this is the more expensive champagne right here.
(ding) Thank you,
'cause it's nasty that's how I know.
I like the cheap (beep), to be honest.
(light jazz music)
Are these dark chocolates?
Because this is a very dangerous test
because I'm lactose intolerant.
So if this is not real dark chocolate,
let me tell you what's about to go down at this shoot.
(makes farting noises with mouth)
So let's just hope that my taste is right.
Okay, I'm tasting this.
It tastes rich in both ways, you know?
It has a little truffle flavor.
I don't really know what truffle is
when it comes to chocolate.
This one has, like the lines are all squiggly.
It doesn't look like it had an artist you know,
using the little squirter thing to put the chocolate on.
But sometimes that's what rich people want,
they wanna like look busted and broke
so you think they don't care.
How am I supposed to (bleep) judge this?
I don't know, I'm so scared.
And my stomach is scared.
It tastes good though.
I'm gonna have to go with this,
because rich people don't care.
But my gut is telling me I'm in trouble,
that's what it's telling me.
This one's smaller,
rich people love to make small (beep) more expensive.
So I'm gonna go with this is the rich (beep).
(buzzer) Oh no! (laughs)
(light jazz music)
Okay, earrings.
I got new nails so it's hard for me to pick (beep) up,
I just want y'all to know that.
Now the weight of this.
Let me just put on my fancy posture.
This feels okay, this feels like reasonable weight.
I don't know much about jewelry so,
these feel light, you know?
And I feel like, what are these, minerals?
What are these?
Stones, minerals things like that,
they should have a little weight to them, I think.
So, because these feel and I'm looking at the little.
These are cheap.
Oh my god, they're about to turn my hands green.
This right here, this is the real (beep).
(buzzer) Damn, these (beep)?
Rich people out here selling this (beep)?
This is a scam!
Look at this, it got holes in it.
This, the metal isn't even right so is it really rich?
(light jazz music)
What is--
So these are like those,
these are these karaoke mics right?
Like where you make everyone around you suffer,
or just suffer by yourself.
I hate karaoke, I really do.
It should be for people who can sing.
So you just hold it down and turn it on?
Oh, lights.
- [Microphone Voice] The Bluetooth device is ready to pair.
- Thank you for that information.
(amplified) Hello, oh!
(laughs)
This is nice, I've never,
does it play music too?
(deep voice) Listen to me.
(laughs)
Okay, this one's fly.
What?
Oh I already know this (beep) cheap.
Okay let me turn this one on.
This one's gold, it got--
first of all the buttons on this.
This one versus this one, unmatched.
This one is heavier so I know it needs
probably like double D batteries or D batteries.
This one probably takes double A at best.
This one's not turning on so rich, I'm very scared.
Okay now let's turn it on.
It has mic, reverb, music,
this one just has symbols.
So.
(echoed) Hello?
Okay, I feel like I'm at a concert.
I feel like I'm Mariah Carey in this bitch.
Hell with this!
Hello?
♪ Hello ♪
(whistle note)
Y'all heard how good I sounded with this?
This is the most expensive mic, hands down.
(ding) I got it!
Fish-oke (laughs).
What?
(light jazz music)
What is this?
I gotta confess, I've never used bath bombs before
because I'm a showerer not necessarily a bath taker,
bath taking is a luxury and you have to have time.
So, I don't know what I'm looking for
but I'm very excited,
this is like a sixth grade science experiment.
Is it gonna explode?
Is this how you're supposed to do it?
That's very anticlimactic, I thought it was gonna be like.
So it's just soaking, let's see what you do.
This looks like chalk.
I wish you would tell me this was like sorbet
and I was tasting it but it's not.
This is the effect that I was looking for.
Ooh, uh-oh (laughs).
I never got to do the volcano experiment in school,
so this is my one chance.
Now I'm gonna be honest, if I were,
if I put this in my bathtub and this started happening,
I would be hype to get in.
But I don't know that this is supposed to happen.
Let me just smell these.
Oh this smells good as (beep).
I don't like, okay.
It's powerful, it's powderful.
I just need to know, what are bath bombs supposed to do?
Are they supposed to explode as bombs do?
Or are they supposed to just simmer
and kind of just wait for you to get in?
Like if this were actually in a martini glass
I'd drink this.
Is that okay to say?
This is living up to the bath bomb name.
So, expensive.
(ding)
(light jazz music)
Ooh headphones!
Oh okay, the quality, to see the quality of them?
- You ready?
- I'm so ready, okay.
A little Erykah Badu playing, "On & On".
(soft song plays)
Okay all I had to do was turn the volume up,
that's what you have to do.
Okay, quality.
Okay that's pretty good.
Let's see what you've got, Cowin.
Cowin feels really fancy
because it has a little fake chrome,
or maybe real chrome, I don't know.
Oh, you have to turn these on.
Okay!
These are so comfortable around my ears,
they're like a ear hug.
These are fly, these are.
I can hear, I can hear Erykah Badu's head wrap shifting,
that's how good these headphones are.
I can hear like the engineer in the studio
mixing it, you know?
This gives me all, this immerses me in the music, you know?
These are quality headphones.
Cowin, you win it.
What is this?
There's no Bluetooth capability?
Oh I guess you could turn these on.
I'm gonna go with this, the Cowin is the more expensive one.
(ding) Thank God, jesus.
(light jazz music)
Can y'all see these?
Are y'all gonna be able to see these?
So I have, let me just feel these,
I would love to just have this
accidentally touch my forehead or my eyebrows.
This feels so nice and look,
and look there's not a hair out of place on these eyelashes.
These on the other hand,
look like someone tried to vacuum them,
that they wet 'em.
They look like the eyelashes on a canine.
They're not necessarily ones that I would support.
These eyelashes have split ends.
So, I can do that by myself okay?
So I think, let me just feel these.
Oh no, no, this is synthetic.
So I'm gonna have to go with these,
these are the more expensive eyebrows, I mean eyelashes.
(buzzer) These are more expensive?
Are they supposed to look natural?
I need you guys to look at this yourself
and if these are more expensive,
I need this company to come correct
because you are selling me split end eyelashes
and I don't want that.
Thank you for watching my expensive taste test
and seeing how rich I am.
Make sure you subscribe to Cosmo
and I hope you're binging "Insecure".
Cheers!
No I'm not gonna drink it, you just watched this (beep)
you wanted me to drink it?
No. (light pop music)