-Top mark.
-We're gonna kick it off with our body shape and size
and whether it is the size we want it to be or not.
-I have always struggled with my size.
I went through years of anorexia
and this -- this, you know, roller coaster of weight.
And it took a long time for me to get comfortable.
As a teenager, it was that there was
no positive conversation around body image.
It was always critique.
-I mean, I probably could trim a little bit off of some stuff.
-I would like to be a little curvier.
-A little bit more toned.
-I've lost a little bit of weight.
And I'm still trying to lose weight.
-For 10 years, I was on this pursuit of changing myself.
I was queen of gossip magazines.
Like, I couldn't leave high school
without going to the store to buy one every day.
I don't do that anymore. I just can't do that
because I know it's a choice that I have had to make.
But then social media doesn't make it easy.
Of course everyone posts their most beautiful photo
because you always want to put your best face forward.
-I think as a girl growing up,
you're always comparing yourself to women in the media.
And I would wonder, like,
"Will I ever look like that or be that pretty?"
Or, "Would someone ever find me that attractive or would want me
like these people seem to want these celebrities?"
-I did celebrity retouching.
So I got to see, like, people that you see your whole life.
And you think they look one way.
Everything that you see has been altered.
And so, like, all the magazines, all the media that you've looked
at your whole life and thought, "I -- I'm not that."
They aren't. -They aren't either.
[ Laughter ]
-It's one of those things where you can't really
blame one or the other.
You can't say, "Oh, it's the media.
Oh, it's the, you know, people seeing the media."
Because at some point, we demanded that.
We wanted to see skinnier, pretty people up there.
The more we saw that, the more we want to become that,
and vice versa.
-I want to talk about the first time
that we felt not good enough, like, physically.
-Probably around 13.
-It's, like, single digits.
-Oh, I know. Fifth grade.
-In fourth grade, there was a play.
We were doing "Helen Keller."
The boy I had a crush on was playing the lead.
I was understudy for the woman playing his wife.
And there was one time when she was out sick.
And I got to do it.
And he had to catch me when I fainted.
And he stepped out of the way and let me fall
because he said I was too ugly to touch.
-Whoa. -And it was just a stupid thing
that a kid said in one instance for no reason, you know?
But damned if I didn't think
I was ugly for the next 10 years.
-I very vividly remember at a dance convention,
"I don't look like the rest of the girls.
Therefore, I'm not good enough."
-I think that's something that's natural
to kind of compare yourself to other people.
It's about knowing the difference between
"that's something I want" and "that's something I need."
When you're striving after that
and you feel like you need to have this to be perfect
or to be who you want to be, that's where the issue comes.
-You have some friends that, like, they, like, they do.
They just naturally have a flat stomach.
And, like, all you think about is how you don't have
that flat stomach. -Mmm.
-But then you forget that, like,
some of us have, like, naturally have boobs.
And their friend who has a flat stomach
is thinking about how she doesn't have boobs.
Like, you know, we all -- It is that, like,
that comparison, "the grass is greener."
-There's a -- There's a quote that I always think about.
And it's, "Comparison is the thief of joy."
-Best quote. -It's the best quote
because what I do is I give myself a check.
Am I not joyful?
And it's almost 100% of the time
because I'm looking at other people,
even in my own husband, and being like,
"He has this that I don't have."
-I think that growing and evolving and --
and bettering yourself is great
if it's done in a really honest, healthy, and loving way.
-I, um, am trying now to look myself in the mirror
and notice something beautiful about myself every day.
And, like, verbally acknowledging it
and looking at myself in the eyes,
in the mirror and say, like, "This --
Like, I love the way your hair is falling today."
And just speaking truth into our own lives,
I think, acknowledging our own beauty
and not being afraid to talk about it is a very healthy step,
at least for me.
-I think I feel the most beautiful when I'm naked
because it's just like what it is, you know?
And it's unapologetic.
Like, I have this big mirror in front of my bed.
And so, like, as I'm getting into bed,
I'm like, "We're all right."
Like, "We're -- It's all good."
-I feel the most beautiful
when I'm being kissed by the person that I love.
-I feel the most beautiful, uh,
when I'm making a deep connection with someone.
-In the morning. It's kind of weird.
-When I, like, catch my husband
looking at me across the room when I'm with my friends.
-I feel the most beautiful
when I know that I'm being authentically myself.
-I-I think I feel the most beautiful
through the eyes of my loved ones.
-When I'm fulfilling the purpose that God's given me.
-When I'm sharing a moment of joy with someone else.
And, like, having that, like, deep, deep laughter.
-I feel the most beautiful
when someone else is feeling beautiful
because of what I'm seeing in them.
-My name is Natalie Patterson.
And I wrote a poem called, "Beautiful Body."
And I'm gonna share it with you now.
She said, "You have a beautiful body."
And I could not comprehend the words.
It was the first time in my entire life
I had heard those words placed together and directed at me.
When I'm confused, I take big ideas
and break 'em into smaller pieces,
make them tiny enough to fit my world into.
You have a beautiful body.
"You" meaning me,
Natalie Patterson, daughter of Joe Frank and Lynne.
Meaning Midwest American black girl
with skin and eyes light enough to confuse her own kind.
Meaning my own kind don't recognize me.
You have a beautiful body.
"Have" implies ownership, meaning I, Natalie Patterson
own something I never paid for.
Meaning some things are free.
Meaning I didn't earn it, so I don't know the value of it,
might abuse or take it for granted.
You have a beautiful body.
"A" meaning one.
Meaning I, Natalie Patterson, own a single thing,
one irreplaceable thing that does, indeed, die.
You have a beautiful body.
"Beautiful" meaning pleasing or satisfying.
Meaning I am appealing and desirable.
I didn't know that.
I've always been pretty with a, "But if you only..." attached.
Never been just beautiful stated as fact.
You have a beautiful body.
"Body" meaning physical structure,
a place the spirit is held in.
And I have never held even my lovers
long enough to be good at it.
You have a beautiful body.
So I will repeat these words until I am no longer reluctant.
Until they are no long foreign in my mouth,
I will repeat these words.
I have a beautiful body.
I have a beautiful body. I have a beautiful body.
Until ownership becomes a privilege,
until this skin becomes a perfect home,
weathered and worn over time,
a perfect home who's walls I know well,
who's staircase and old floor creak my favorite song,
I am my own favorite song that I'm --
I'm just now learning all the words to.
But I want to sing you.
I want to sing you till the song sticks.
I have a beautiful body.
Period.