Greetings, and welcome to Earthling Cinema. I am your host, Garyx
Wormuloid. This week’s artifact is Spring Breakers, starring unknown
NYU grad student James Franco and Disney refugees Vanessa Hudgens and
Selena Gomez. The film follows four human females
who feel oppressed by Earth society’s attempts to pump them
full of information, wishing instead to
damage their brain cells with poison at a mystical place known
only as “Spring Break.” In order to obtain the galactic
credits they need to get to Florida, often considered to be
America’s scrotum, the females rob a local food factory
Once at their destination, they have an old fashioned hootenanny
Soon they meet a wealthy rapperslash-drug
dealer with a highly offensive name.
"My name's Alien."
Hey! You can’t say that.
Only we can say that. But whereas most humans were made of bones and
skin, Alien is made of money. He takes the females to his house, where he
implores them to examine his excrement.
Shortly thereafter, one of the females gets annoyed that everyone
just wants to play pool all the time, so she leaves. Another one
gets annoyed that everyone just wants to shoot her in the arm all
the time, so she leaves. The last two stay to help Alien fight a
turf war, but once they’re done with that they decide it’s probably
time to go study for midterms.
Spring Breakers is largely a comment on American youth culture,
The girls speak about authentic
epiphanies and meaning they've derived from their trip,
"I saw some beautiful things here, so warm and friendly."
yet all we
see are images of human booties gyrating, partying, and general
excess. Look, that guy is smoking out of a baby! This ironic
juxtaposition coyly suggests that American youth culture derived its
identity purely from sexuality and gratuitous debauchery, not to
mention normal, run-of-the-mill debauchery. The camera dwells on
the bodies of our protagonists, sexualizing them and fetishizing
youth. It also fetishizes scooters, but come on, who wouldn’t?
In short, this culture was narcissistic. Which is
understandable, considering they were trapped inside their own
brains without the ability to mindmerge. The protagonists "refuse to
be miserable," so they break one of Earth’s most sacred commandments--
not committing armed robbery-- to fulfill what they believe is their
god-given right to go to Spring Break. Likewise, Alien bases his
entire life around fulfilling his personal desires, no matter how
long it takes to do those braids. To him, that is the American Dream:
fuck everyone else, get money.
"This is the f*ckin' american dream, y'all."
As portrayed in the film, Spring
Break is a fantasy world, a hyperstylized reality governed only by
vibrant color.
Whereas scenes of the school bathroom, the jail,
and the bus back home are presented in muted, drab colors,
life on the beach is bathed in neon like a bag of hallucinogenic
Skittles. The film also features elliptical editing, moving forward
and backward through time with impunity. The result often feels
more like a music video than a cohesive narrative, engrossing the
audience in something akin to what Earth historians call “tripping
balls.” And when suspended in such a state, the only thing on one’s
mind is: “I wish this could last forever.”
Indeed, much of movie explores the relationship between permanence and
impermanence. The Spring Break lifestyle is an ecstatic investment
in the moment. It celebrates fleeting things, like drug
experiences, youth, the "gangster" lifestyle, joy, beauty, and Britney
Spears. Yet the idea of permanence, or "forever," is one of
the primary motifs of the film
"This is the way it's gonna be forever. Always and forever. Like it's never gonna end."
The girls’ mantra is “Always lie to your legal
guardian over the phone.”
"I know mom, I'm sorry. I should have told you that I came. I'm not drinking."
But their other, more important mantra is
"Spring Break FOREVER".
Perhaps Spring Break is a symbol for all things transient-- a week
where human beings can live outside the laws of society and physics,
and simply let the good times roll. The film suspends the audience in a
protracted state of party energy, disorientation, and sex. Just like
a warped drug experience, but also like a dream.
"Seems like a dream, seems like a dream."
And unfortunately for anyone
whose body chemistry depends on a sleep cycle, eventually you have to
wake up. Or hit the snooze button one more time. See if I care.
Spring break forever.