Even Hammond was looking on the bright side.
It weighs just over 1,000 kilos. But a Lotus Elise weighs
just under 1,000 kilos, so, it's a Lotus Elise!
Despite our enthusiasm, though, we still hadn't overtaken anyone.
Oh, I've lost power steering.
And the 75 was starting to suffer from Alfa-itis.
When you put your arm on the centre console,
your elbow does operate the rear windows, that is an issue.
But it still has that Alfa magic.
You can't ever describe it. Only Alfa Romeo owners know.
What was that?
No, something's horribly wrong here.
There's a buzz. There is a feel that's different and odd.
I had to make a pit stop.
This is the thing you have to remember.
Alfa build a car to be as good as a car can be... briefly.
That left it up to my colleagues to defend Alfa's reputation.
Squeeze the power through the long banked curve.
[bleep] Edit!
My flywheel bearing sounded very poorly.
It's an incredibly complex job, to put a new one in.
It's now quarter to 11 in the morning.
I might be able to get a new one in, if I had one, by about...
by about... October!
I therefore decided to cool it down with a fire extinguisher.
It was a brilliant idea, but then I got some bad news over the radio.
I've just been told something rather interesting.
What's interesting?
While you are sitting in the pit, every car that passes
the pit lane wall counts as an overtake.
Oh, for God's sake! Hurry up with that jack!
More to the point, Jezzer, you're being overtaken by me consistently!
Just overtaking you again, Jeremy!
Shut up, Hammond!
My flywheel was the first real problem of the day.
But soon, they were coming thick and fast.
Clutch.
I'm going to the floor. The brakes are cooked!
I think I'll just rest here, let my brakes cool for a bit.
My brakes are shot.
Smelling bad.
The driver's seat has collapsed on the right-hand side.
Is that a water pump gasket failure or some sort of...?
-Pump. -The actual pump.
Then I tried to get a point by overtaking Captain Slow.
Naturally, that got us black-flagged, but at least I took full responsibility.
You turned in on me...
Rubbish! That is where you're supposed to turn.
On top of all this, the overtaking challenge was descending into a farce.
Oops!
That's a 16-year-old boy who has just overtaken me in a Corsa!
I'm going to take a Gallardo!
Yes! Utter joy... Oh, wait, no, he's gone again!
Soon, my disappointment got worse.
That's not good. What's happened?
Jeremy's exhaust appears to have fallen off.
That got me black-flagged, again.
Holy cow!
It's nothing to worry about. It's just the exhaust.
It's Alfas. They do things that you're just not ready for.
A point that was proved moments later.
-What's the matter? -Clutch.
Well, get it back up, otherwise the producers will laugh at us.
I know.
Come on!
I can hardly believe this.
The only car that is out there right now working is Hammond's.
Well, when I say working...
Please give me another cylinder back.
Please change your mind back and be a four-cylinder again.
As we sorted out our little niggles, the tally continued to mount.
Even Jeremy was admitting speed isn't everything.
-Been overtaken much? -There's Porches.
-Can I just say, they're fast. -Yeah, brisk.
Do they have the soul, the character, the passion?
If Katharine Ross, she of Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid fame
and The Graduate, were to come here and choose her favourite car here...
-It'd be one of these. -None of them.
Finally, we were ready to get back out there.
And this time, we had a plan.
By working together, we'd stop the overtaking massacre.
Get alongside me, quick as you can.
Yeah, now let's see them overtake!
Brilliant! Why didn't we think of this before?!
Have you been overtaken recently? No, not for a while.
Neither have I!
Of course, to stop anyone sneaking by on the wider bits of the track,
we had to weave about a bit.
That's not gone well!
Overall, though, my tactic was working brilliantly,
until I was stabbed in the back.
That's a point for me!
They've ruined the game. Now, look!
Back-stabber Hammond was now getting very cocky.
He fell off!
Oh, no! Oh, no!
I've got no engine.
Brutus Hammond was out with a broken water pump
and then it was the turn of Cassius May.
No clutch!
Meanwhile, for me, things were looking good.
Hey, it looks like we got ourselves a slow coach here.
I'm going to take the Focus.
Come on!
Come on, Alfa!
Show the world!
Yeah, you... How do you feel now?!
I've got a point! Oh, my God, the brakes!
Whoa! [bleep]
-What's wrong with yours? -All the water's coming out.
-Is it? -It's not good.
-How is Jeremy doing? That's the thing. -I don't know. Ask him.
Jeremy, how are you doing?
Not brilliantly.
I think it's going to be all right.
I need a tow truck.
Do you think they're A, going to be sympathetic?
-Or B, be a couple of...? -Nice work!
No, they're going to be a couple of.
I tell you what happened.
A man came over and pushed it over when I wasn't looking.
-No, you crashed it and it's on its side. -I didn't crash it!
No, look what you've done, man!
-Look what you've done! -It's a minor scuff.
Come on, car. Don't let me down.
Aw!
Doesn't sound good, that car.