Whether you’ve wanted to spend a weekend in the familiar embrace of a wet ditch, or
or spend Saturday evening banging the couch cushions at a friends house- a friend whom
you’ll never see again- you might be faced with a classic dilemma.
Should you slum it with the OE 800 or also slum it with the King Cobra.
The second being a premium variety of malt liquor.
It’s a tough decision.
Would you rather have your dick chewed off by a trash panda behind an old dumpster or
be fellated by a raccoon while taking out the recycling.
Well that raccoon ain’t getting any calmer, so let’s find out with a scientific taste
test and a food pairing.
So let’s take a look at the specs of these two sirens of the 7-11, calling out to you
on a weeknight while we pour.
First there’s the King Cobra- the gentleman’s choice- except of course in the full nude
clubs- but that’s what the parking lot’s for.
At 6% ABV, it’ll give you a few extra sips before gut rot sets in- when compared to other
leading brands.
Not quite as dark as the king cobra- no infection yet… just a long day of working in the sun
without pissing.
If you want the absolute hardest kick in the nuts you can handle, the Old English is an
easy choice.
The OE pours a nice golden color reminiscient of the start of your last UTI.
Kinda dehydrated with a kiss of golden sunshine.
Pour generously.
42 ounces and an easy guzzling 7.5% ABV it’s made from a precise ratio of English Leather
cologne and whatever that clear fluid is found on the floor of the drunk tank.
And since the bottle is plastic, it can’t be used as an effective weapon against you
if you just won’t stop running your goddamn mouth.
Now with easy to use Cold when blue technology- when the circle turns white it’s ready to
drink.
The smell.
Hope you brought some extra underwear.
First the Old English.
Now mind you this is for the 7.5% version, so notes may vary if your shit luck finds
you only have the 5.9 version in your neighborhood.
The website says it has some fruity notes.
Ok.
I get a light sulfer bite, is it hell or the lingering aroma of firecrackers.
I’d emphasize it’s the good kind of sulfur smell.
Maybe toasted is a better word.
Toasted alcohol.
That’s my final answer.
The King Cobra is a bit friendlier on the nose…
I’m sure is not a phase that is spoken often.
You get subtle hints of corn water, as in you’ve boiled a pot of corn and that water
thats left over that you pour down the sink.
Or a city puddle on a warm afternoon.
But most importantly how do they taste and compare.
(Laughing) ok, no one cares.
But we’ll do it anyway.
Right off the bat the King Cobra, on the middle of the tounge is the pleasant taste of metallic
cob water.
When compared to the 7.5% of the OE800, the 6.0% of the King Cobra can be described as
smoother- remember it is the premium of the two.
Light beerish even.
Have many have you had son, you can accurately say just one!
The OE improves upon the light metal flakes taste of the King by adding more.
Impressive, considering it comes in a plastic bottle.
If there’s any leeching of the plastic it covers it up quite nicely.
You know it occurred to me, some of this could be the Red Barron.
I hope I don’t have to start over.
It finishes with a bite of alcohol, foreshadowing how in about 30 minutes, what ever you’re
doing is probably at least punishable by $1000 or one year in jail.
And that about does it.
If you like these sorts of videos, thank my patrons.
I guess now they’re accessories, by posting this.
Sorry guys we’re all going down together.
No rats.
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Give this video a thumbs up.
Unless you’re the guy who wanted to see Colt 45 instead of the King.
You can suck it.
By that I mean the OE.
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Thanks for watching.