Are you in a relationship with a narcissist and what to know, "Is a time
to go"? By the end of this video, you're going to know, "Should I stay? Or should I go?"
Hi. I'm Rebecca Zung. And I have been recognized as one of the top one percent
of attorneys in the country, and I've written a couple of bestselling books, Negotiate Like
YOU M.A.T.T.E.R and Breaking Free: A Step‑By‑Step Divorce Guide. And I've helped millions of people
get out of relationships with toxic people, and I teach you step-by-step real guidance on how
to negotiate with narcissists and get what you want, how to shift the dynamic, how to shift
the conversation. And if that's what you want, then you should definitely hit "subscribe" and
hit that notification bell, and that way you'll get notified when I upload new videos or go live.
And when I go live, I answer all your questions so come join me for that as well.
So let's talk about whether or not you should stay in this relationship or you should go.
It's always a hard question and, as an attorney who practiced in the area of divorce for a very
long time, I can tell you that that was a question that was sometimes asked of me
by clients, and I would always tell them the same thing. Unless they were in an abusive situation;
obviously if you are being physically abused, you should definitely get out. But barring that, I
would always say, "Listen, I'm here to facilitate if that's what you decide to do. If you decide
you want to stay with this person, then that's a choice that you have to make on your own."
But I do like to give some kind of indications. And what I'm going to give you here are some
indications that you can look for. Whether you're in a relationship with a narcissist in a business
setting or whether you are in a relationship with a narcissist in a romantic setting,
it's really the same. And the very first red flag, the very first sign that you should
probably get out of this relationship, is: How do you feel inside? How is this relationship
making you feel? What's your gut feeling? I was in a relationship with a couple of
narcissists. Thank God, not in a romantic setting. But close enough that they targeted me,
victimized me, traumatized me, and it was absolutely horrible. And so I do know how they
can make you feel. And if you feel like they're literally sucking the life out of you, literally
like your soul can't breathe, then that's time. Absolutely, you need to start thinking about,
"How am I going to get out of this relationship? What are the steps that I need to take?"
Because when you are in that situation, it's not sustainable. You know that eventually
you're going to just go crazy. And if you are getting ready to think about divorcing
a narcissist, you should check out my video on things that you should do to prepare to divorce
a narcissist. And we'll make sure to drop a link to that below as well. But if you are in this
relationship and you just are constantly feeling awful, then you know it's definitely time to go.
Another sign it's time to go is that you're just not trusting the person. You're constantly
wondering, what are they doing? Who are they talking to? Who's on their phone? What text
messages are going back and forth? Where are they? If it's in a business setting, are you trusting
that they are doing what they're supposed to do in the business? Are you trusting that they're
doing the work that they're supposed to do? Are you trusting that the quality of work is the way
it's supposed to be? Are you trusting that the money situation is copacetic? Are they collecting
money and putting it directly into the account, or do you think that there might be skimming some?
Are you trusting that they're not talking about you behind your back to maybe employees, or
clients, or people in the community, or other people that you're dealing with in your business?
Are you trusting that they have your back? Are you trusting that they're not plotting and planning
to do things against you or, or away from you? And so if you don't feel like you're trusting this
person, then that's definitely another sign. And if you think that it is time to go, give me an,
"I'm getting out" in the comments. Right? Another sign that it may be time to go from this
relationship is that you feel completely isolated. You feel like there's no one else to talk to, that
no one else understands what you're dealing with, or maybe that the world is against you because
the narcissist in your life has made you believe that everybody else is on their side and it's
only you. And they'll even say things like, "You're the only one that thinks this way," or,
"Everybody else thinks that I'm amazing." And if you want to know more about what narcissists say,
then definitely check out my video called Narcissists' Favorite Sayings because those
are the kinds of things that they say to make you feel isolated, make you feel alone. Make you feel
like the world is against you and no one else is going to be around and, if you try to get out
of this relationship, you're going to be the one who looks bad. It's not going to go well for you.
And so if you're feeling like that, like you're feeling isolated and alone
and powerless and paralyzed, it's definitely time to start taking those steps to get out of that
relationship. And it's not always easy. Sometimes you have trauma bonding. Sometimes there's a
lot of psychological damage that has gone on. So don't beat yourself up over it if you're not ready
right now at this moment. Just start taking little baby steps, even just to take care of yourself.
Go to a therapist. Go talk to a clergy person. If you want more help, you can go to
online help. I have a partnership with BetterHelp and they are online therapists,
and you can definitely check them out at the link below as well. And it's totally
confidential and you can choose whatever therapist you want, so you can definitely check them out.
Whatever you need to do to just start feeling strong enough, to be able to take the steps.
Don't judge yourself if you're not ready to take the steps right at this moment; just do little,
little things to help you start to heal enough that you feel strong enough to be able to do
it. Okay? So that's another thing that is a sign that it's time to go, is that you are completely
isolated and feeling traumatized and crazy. Another sign that it's time for you to get
out of this relationship is that you're starting to think about other relationships,
or you're starting to think about getting out. Maybe you're starting to think about
cheating. Maybe you're starting to fantasize what it would be like to get out of this relationship.
You're starting to think about, "Well if I got out of this relationship, how would it look?
What would I do? Would I want to buy this other partner out?" or, "Would I file for divorce?" and,
"If I file for divorce, where am I going to live?" And you're starting to think about this process.
I mean, just the fact that you're here, that you're watching this video, tells me
that you're already starting the process of wondering if it's time, wondering if a better
life is out there. And I can tell you, as a person who has dealt with a couple of narcissists in my
own life, and has helped thousands of people either through my divorce practice or my,
I have a strategic coaching practice where I help people literally all over the world,
and through my slave programs which have helped thousands of people at this point,
I can tell you a hundred percent of the people who have gotten out of those relationships are
so glad that they did it. They 100 percent feel better. And I can tell you that it does get better
and there is help. And there is support for you. So you can get out if that's what you decide
that you want to do. And one of the first steps that you can take to help yourself is
downloading my free Crush My Negotiation prep worksheet at windmynegotiation.com. It's free;
it's an ebook. It's 15 pages, and you just go to winmynegotiation.com.
If you feel isolated and you want more help, join me in my free private Facebook group at
Narcissist Negotiators at Rebecca Zung and you will get lots of support and connection there.
And if you liked this video, like it, share it, drop me that comment. And make sure you
subscribe and hit the notification bell, and that way you'll get notified when I upload new content.
Thank you so much for joining me on this video. I'm so glad that you're here.
Remember that today is a great day to start negotiating your best life. Wherever you are
is the jumping off point to the next point in your life. It's time to break free.
So I'm Rebecca Zung. Thank you so much for joining me, and I'll see you in the next video.