- Barbara, what's the matter with you?
- No, I'm stuck here, help me out.
- No, let me show you how this works.
Use your finger.
This is a computer, Barbara.
- This is a computer.
(upbeat music)
- Here's the question.
Which word would your friends use to describe you?
Your choices, bold, trust-worthy,
funny, serious, busy, or strong-willed,
unfortunately for you, Barbara,
there's no nasty.
- But Kevin, you won't be able to
answer this, there's no evil.
- Oh, I think for sure I'm trust-worthy.
I'm clicking right now.
(chattering)
Ooh, look at that.
And it says, you're right Kevin,
you are trustworthy.
- Okay, so let's click, guys.
- Click.
- Choose another TV show that features
a panel of judges.
Top chef, the Masked Singer,
the Voice, and RuPaul's Drag Race,
Project Runway, and American Idol.
- Mm.
- Ooh.
- That's easy.
- Well?
- That's easy.
- There's a few right answers.
- I have to go with RuPaul's Drag Race
because my friend Carson Kressley's on it.
- There you go.
- It's a great show.
- That's what I picked.
- Ooh, I've gotta go the Voice,
'cause really, I'm a rockstar.
I'm clicking that.
- I'm gonna do American Idol,
because I feel like people in
America idolize me and I relate to that.
(laughing)
- Which of these common selling points are
the most appealing to you?
Family owned business, eco-friendly,
it's the fill in the blank of the future,
great product name, solves a problem,
huge on social media.
- Oh, I know where I'm going.
- Can we go all of the above?
- I'm going solves a problem.
Solves a problem.
Come on.
- That was kind of easy.
- It's unavailable for you now.
- That was easy.
- What's something that makes you cringe
during a Shark Tank pitch?
Awkward banter, deeply personalized samples,
bad dancing.
(laughing)
Overly rehearses theatrics.
- We've seen that, with you Robert,
on a show called Dancing with the Stars.
- [Robert] Nervous speaking, bad financial decisions.
- Ooh.
- Robert's saying awesome.
- That's amazing.
- Amazing, right.
- You know what should've been there
is a small, rat like dog.
That would've been good.
I'm going with bad financial decisions.
- Why?
- 'Cause I'm right about that.
- 'Cause people learn, why would you be-
- Overly rehearsed theatrics.
I hate when people are out there.
- Bad theater is terrible in shows.
- With fake crying, and.
- Yeah, the fake stuff is awful.
- That's awful, all right.
- Nervous speaking.
- Pick a Shark to go in on a deal with.
Oh, everybody knows the answer to this one.
You could choose Mark Cuban.
- [Mark] It's me.
- [Kevin] Daymond John, Barbara,
Mr Wonderful, Robert Herjavec,
who came over on a boat with a little rat meat.
And Lori Greiner.
- Ooh.
- That's easy, everybody knows the answer.
- Oh, Mr Wonderful.
Click!
- I would have to pick myself.
- Oh, come on, Barbara.
- Barbara, be truthful.
- You can't do that!
(arguing)
- Okay, okay.
- Not even you are that conceded.
- Would you be quiet, it's Mark,
of course, I love Mark Cuban,
I love his wallet, I love his face,
I love his personality.
- Unfortunately, you can't click.
- Do you know what I love most about Mark Cuban?
His team.
- I'll take it.
- Which shtick, I love that word,
are you totally overseeing during a pitch?
Ooh.
Matching outfits, talking in unison,
taste-tests, uh.
Having to try out the product,
rapping and singing, and children running around.
(arguing)
- You know the problem with the kids?
You just can't.
- Can't be honest!
- Yeah.
- The parents use them.
- And I always tell these kids,
if you're not willing to drop out of school,
what the hell are you doing on Shark Tank?
All right, I'm going with children running around.
- [Robert and Mark] Children running around.
- It's the only thing we're together on.
- I hate those little kids.
- Which of the following issues is
the biggest red flag to you?
Low amount of sales, bad decision making,
lack of scalability, not enough equity
for the amount, product is too niche,
no other Sharks are interested.
- Who cares what the other Sharks think?
- Oh I don't care about other Sharks.
- A low amount of sales.
- That's too obvious.
- [Barbara] Really, no.
Not enough equity for the amount
'cause you wanna get up and be
excited about working on the (muffled).
- But if they have no sales?
What if it's, ah.
(arguing)
I'm just tired of people with
great ideas and no sales.
- You know, you gotta think about lack of
scalability, because if it's a real dog,
you're never gonna sell any of anyway, so.
- [Robert] Obviously.
- I'm going there, I'm going lack of scalability.
- Ah, not me.
- Barks like a dog, must be a dog.
- The product is too niche.
It's a feature, not a product.
Everybody thinks they have these
little features in their really products,
where in reality, they're features, not products.
- This quiz is getting serious now.
- All right!
- All right, Robert.
- Which of the following Shark Tank products
do you wish you had invested in?
They are Scrub Daddy, Squatty Potty,
Tipsy Elves, Bombas Sock, Simply Fit board,
Ring, the Comfy, that's a good one, Barbara,
the Sleep Styler, I regret nothing!
Ever.
- None of the real winners are
on this list, and they're all mine, so.
I regret nothing.
- I'm going with the Comfy, I'm going with the Comfy,
I wish I had done the Comfy.
- It's funny, there isn't.
- I invited you in, you said no.
- There isn't a single one on here
that's from Kevin.
- No, because I had the real winners.
This is the second tier list.
- I thought you did the Squatty Potty?
- No, that was Lori.
- Boom!
- Oh!
- I got Barbara.
- Oh!
- We all got Barbara!
(yelling)
- This is ridiculous!
- I'm Barbara, no!
No!
I can't believe this.
- Daymond John?!
You got Daymond John?
This is hogwash.
- Where are my lawyers, I'm litigating!
This is ridiculous!
- Oh, look how beautiful you look.
- And you're wearing the same outfit
as in the picture!
- No different, look how beautiful I look today.
- [Mark] This doesn't make any sense.
- This means I have to travel on
a broom for the rest of my life!
(laughing)
- And you're Daymond.
- I got Daymond.
(muffled) one of those little mustaches.
- Oh, come on, these guys.
- Who wrote this?
- We can call you chocolate thunder from now on.
- You know, it is obvious to me what happened.
This was Russian meddling.
(laughing)
(arguing)
- Thanks so much, I hope you had a great time.
I hope you take the quiz and most importantly,
watch Shark Tank, Friday nights on ABC.
(howling)
See what I have to deal with here?
(jazz music)