Mike: If I wanted a sugar daddy, yes
I'd probably go and get one because I am what? Sickening! You can never have a sugar daddy because you are
not that kind of girl, baby everything I've worked for I've gotten myself. I built myself from the ground up fucking-- biiitCH
Mac: Today we're trying to find a sugar daddy
Mike: eAuH *sexy leg*
Mac: You guys have seen me do shit like this before. I already did it. This seems familiar
Who is this? He looks the same.
Mac: Did that make any sense?
Mike: I'm not helping you
[wheeze]
Mike: Find me a daddy, daddy
Mac: okay son
Mike: don't touch me
*Lit
Mac: So we've been to this ballpark before,
Mike: mHm
Mac: Now me and my, twinkish son,
Try to find a sugar daddy.
[Dream Daddy theme song]
And that all didn't work out. We got no money and a bunch of sadness
Mike: Oh, you brought me around to be different than that?
Mac: So this time around, I decided to drag-
What are you?
Mike: Wait what do you mean??
[snORT]
Mike: What do I identify as? In 2018?
Mac: yEs!
I decide to get the next thing all these LA gays seem to desire so much,
Mike: I don't know, what am I?
Mac: A jock-ish,, hunk.
Mike: Really?!
hang on I gotta call my mom
Mac: kAHAH
In our previous video that we did on Mike's channel,
Mac: We made him a Grindr, for the first time ever.
Mike: For the first, time, ever.
Mac: For the first time.
Mike: [sings] For the first time in forever~
Don't believe any of the rumors.
TODAY on my channel
We're going to take that Grindr and use it for what it meant to be used for -
Mike: Making money.
Mac: Making money.
Mike: yA-
Mac: Every gay in Los Angeles wants-
Mike: Every- excuse me, who said I was gay?
Every,,,, whatever the hell Mike is,, in Los Angeles
All just want one thing - a man to give them food and pay their taxes.
Mike: I'll just take the food
Mike: Wait! I don't need Grindr to do that! I've gotten offers before! I just.. Turn them down...
Mac: Okay, well today. I am finding a sugar daddy on Grindr using Mike's photos.
Mike: wOooO
Mac: We catfish in this house
[Mike Laughs]
Mike: We're gonna be- We'll get on TV!
You catfish me, and then I'll call Ned and then it'll be a whole scheme
[gasp]
My god, Mandela affect!- CONSPIRACY THEORY, WILL I END UP ON SHANE DAWSON'S CHANNEL??
Mike: He watches this right?
Mac: Today we're finding a sugar daddy on Grindr.
Mike: WOOO
Mac: Let's just do this!
E A S Y
Careful, there's like things on my phone
*Silence*
Mike, quietly: I'm just gonna leave it like that
Mike: But Grindr actually turns my phone into a dildo.
Who needs a man honey am I right?
Mac: These god damn message--- oH my gosh
Oh mY goSh
[giggles]
Mac: We just made this five minutes ago, Mike??
Mike: two minutes ago, actually
*wheeze*
Mike: I have a really nice personality? Okay?
Mike quietly:My feet smell
Mike:I haven't shaved my toes in way too long.
I hate myself, that's enough
Mac: Oh this person sent you six messages
"hi how you doin cutie :)"
sends a bunch of pictures of his face
"Okay I guess you don't like me, I hate this fucking app, I'll never find anyone on this app."
Why is he SO aggressive!?
Mike: We made this four minutes ago!
Gimme a second, wOW!
I don't wanna be mean because he sounds like he's sad and i kinda wanna help him.
If someone doesn't answer you on Grindr, continuing to message them isn't gonna help you
Mac: and he said 3 years on this. He's only 20 that means he had a Grindr when he was 18
Mike: Helloo
Adam for Adam honey, I was 14, but you didn't hear that from me.
Mac: I do not condone underage using of apps
Mike: I never did anything-
that people can prove
[sparkle]
Mike: He's in front of a Jesus statue,,
make me scream for God baby
Both: [yelling]
Mac: Oooh, this man is old
Mac: 'Prefer younger'
Mike: How much you got?
Mac: He said 'Not for you, but sexy smizing'?
Mac: "Hi! How, are, yoUuu?"
Mike: Put a money sign
No don't do that,
That's too forward
Oh have I slept with him before?
Mac: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Mike: Wait no you-
I would be- I'd say 'Eyyyyy'
Mac: You're masculine
Mike: football emoji
Mac: two football emojis
Mike: FUCK yes
Who the F*** is that with a p u p p y filter on their photo,,
like f*** you
I hate that so much
Mac: "Hi, doing well, what about you?"
Mike: Maybe he just wants to have a conversation, let's like, try here.
I'm doing great and making some soup
Mac: I'm an innocent boy gimme your money and then you can take this bussy
I T ' S N O T S O E A S Y
Mac: "I made soup for lunch"-
We got something in COMMON!!
Now TAKE his income
[laughing and wheezing]
Mike: I'll upgrade you from ramen to chef boyardee, bitch.
what about your,, money, though
Mac: Literally every five seconds the phone vibrates cuz we got a new message.
Mike: I'm networking
Mac: So, Is this what it's like to be attractive?
I don't KNOW this EMOTION
Mike: We're just here to try to make friends
Mac: just out here tryna get money, what are you talking about?
"Where ya from"
Mike: West philphade-
West- West,, Ville,, Phidel- wait wh-
Both: West PhiladelpHIA BORN AND RAISED!
Mac: when you know he's not black
*BOW BOW BOW*
Mac: These guys really wanna f*** you.
Mike: God- Title of my autobiography
Mac: He said, "I made undon noodle soup and added a bunch of chopped veggies".
Mike: So he coooOOOKS
Mac: So he has enough money TO cook
Mike: To go grocery shopping!!!
Mac: ohoOHOOHOOOOOMANN
Mike: People who have money go to Pavilion; people like me go to Ralph
Mac: ohh
cool
Mike: Where'd you get those groceries? Peach emoji, eggplant emoji. I told you I'm good at this
I'm f***ing good at this.
Mac: He messaged back, what he say
"Mostly Trader Joe's"
Oh, so he's a cheap hoe. Mike: Oh. Stop Answering.
[Mac reading off screen] "Looking [for a] good man" He looks v-
Mike: He said looking good man??
Mac-
iM gOiNg On tOuR
E a S Y
Mike: WHOS MY DADDY? Why's his picture of a f****n falcon??
Mac: LOOK AT that BACK! That's an OLD MAN
Both: HE S A BOTTOM D A D D Y
Mike: WE ARE IN THIS
Mac: You got money??
Mac: Soo six months of bank statements?
Mike: Yess yess!
Mike: Hey, what do you do for a living? If he says "youtuber" break my phone.
[Mac reading off screen]"I'm a psychotherapist, career coach, author, and grad school professor"
Mike: YAAASSS
Mac: HE GOT MONEYY
Mike: Gimme brain like NYU, Bitch!
[Mac, reading off screen] "Oh, and a bottom!"
Mike: Fuck! Yunno what we're gonna say! We're gonna say! We're gonna say, hol'on hold on
Mike, typing: Tutor me, I couldn't afford the books this semester Mac: Is this you fliting? Mike: this is me trynna get money
[mac laughs] Mike: This is me working!
Both: Woooooahhhhh [Laughing]
Mike: Wait- Whaddi- Whadid he say?
Mac: "Sexy"
Mike: Respond: Hi
Mac: "Sure! In what tho?" I think he thinks you're serious.
Mike: Dick
Mike: How much is your rent?
Mike: HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU H A V E
Mac: "You'll be an A+"
Mike: What do I need to do for extra credit ;)
Mac: "Kinky sub wild pig bottom boi?"
Mike: Now there's that friend for paying my student loans.
Mike: Is it gonna be hard to find a dad because I'm so oversatuated with messages?
[Mike laughs] I'm Sorry!
Mac: "Hmm.. a lot what do you want?" Money.
Mike: I hope these people, like, see me in public... That's that hooker from Grindr...
Thats what I'm afraid of, y'don't geddit.
I'm gonna get all those eGgplant emOJiS
Mike: Mac's trynna find me a daddy on grindr. A sugar daddy, any tips? Any advice?
You know what, fuck this, just start responding to people going "what's your venmo."
Mac is trying to find me a sugar daddy, he made me a grindr, and he's tryin to find me a sugar daddy.
[Laughs]
Mike: Y'know that I could actually do a storytime of someone duped me saying that they were gonna be
my manager when really they wanted to be my sugar daddy. I went to their house, they gave me a shit-ton a underwear
I still have the underwear because, god knows I took it, and they literally showed me their bank statements
to prove like how much money they had and they said whatever my current bank account was that they would match
it. and then I ran outta there and never talked about it again.
They call me All The Time still!
Mac: And You Ran Away From That Opportunity?
Person off screen: Grindr is more like a lotta couples naked boys, gross people, Mike: Where do I belong?
Person: New Jersey
[Laughs]
Mac: Moral of the story: WeHo sucks!
Why don't we end this video!
Mike: Noo I feel like we failed!
Mike: I feel like we failed and I don't like that feeling.
Mac: I mean that's not the first time I've failed at something
What'd we learn today Mike?
Mike: We learned that it's much easier to get a daddy in real life than it is on Grindr. Because Grindr daddy blocks you. Sugar daddy blocks you.
You Need those emojis! And like, current wordplay. Otherwise you just get arrested.
How's this different than prostitution? Are they still watching? I woulda clicked off
[Laughing]
Mac: Anyway guys, thanks so much for watching, wh- how do I- fuh-
Mike: Thank you guys so much for watching
Uhh- I'm gonna go find a real life sugar daddy because apparently this youtube sugar daddy wasn't able to help me.
I'll help you one day, I'll get you a daddy, I'll get you a GOOD daddy
You know Shane Dawson? Right? Call him!
If you guys want to see us make the Grindr from scratch you can go over to my channel
I'm assuming the link will be in the description or wherever the hell Mac decides to put it
but it should be somewhere over there. Mac: You just have to type it out. somewhere.
Or just type my name and it will pop up Mike: FUCKYOU
Mac: Comment down below: How much do you make? Do you wanna pay my student loans?
Mike: Comment down below what would you put in your Grindr description if you wanted to find a daddy because! it's getting in the way!
Mac: Comment down below: Should we used scruff?
Mike: YES!
Mac: Anyways: My name is Mac
Mike: My name is Mike!
Mac: And don't forget to like comment, share and subscribae
BWAHHH
Mike: I still hate that ending!
[Outro Music]