>>> YOU'RE WATCHING C-SPAN. WHICH IS HONESTLY SURPRISING.
UP NEXT, THE MICHIGAN STATE SENATE HEARS SPECIAL TESTIMONY
REGARDING ALLEGATIONS OF FRAUD IN THE 2020 PRESIDENTIAL
ELECTIONS. >> I HEREBY CALL THIS HEARING OF
THE SENATE OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE TO ORDER.
IT IS MY HONOR AND ALSO ONE OF THE GREAT HORRORS OF MY LIFE TO
WELCOME PRESIDENT TRUMP'S PERSONAL ATTORNEY RUDY GIULIANI.
>> THANK YOU, YOUR HONOR. IT'S GREAT TO BE IN A COURTROOM
WHERE I'M NOT THE DEFENDANT. >> THIS ISN'T A COURTROOM.
>> HONESTLY I'M JUST HAPPY TO BE INDOORS.
NOW, AS MY ASSOCIATE MISS ELLIS AND I WILL PROVE TODAY, THIS
ELECTION WAS STOLEN FROM THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WITH A LEVEL OF
TRICKERY NOT SEEN SINCE HOUDINI.
[ FARTING ] THAT WASN'T ME, THAT WAS YOU
GUYS. BUT PRESIDENT TRUMP AND I ARE
GOING TO OVERTURN THESE ILLEGAL VOTES.
FIRST IN MICHIGAN, THEN IN GEORGYLVANIA, AND THEN IN
PENNSACHUSETTES, AND THEN IN NORTH DACANADA.
>> BUT ISN'T IT TRUE THAT ALL YOUR LAWSUITS HAVE BEEN REJECTED
BECAUSE THEY'RE BASE ON ZERO ACTUAL EVIDENCE?
>> YOU WANT EVIDENCE? OKAY, WELL TODAY I HAVE BROUGHT
BEFORE YOU HIGHLY INTELLIGENT BARELY INTOXICATED INDIVIDUALS
WHO ARE ALL EYEWITNESSS. AFTER HEARING THEIR TESTIMONY
GOING TO BE LIKE, WOW, RUDY IS RIGHT AND GETTING SMARTER EVERY
DAY. [ FARTING ]
THAT WAS HER. >> MR. GIULIANI -- OH, GOD, IT'S
HITTING US HERE. YOU MAY CALL YOUR FIRST WITNESS.
>> ALL RIGHT, I'D LIKE TO PRESENT SOMEONE WHO WORKED
DIRECTLY WITH DOMINION VOTING SYSTEMS, MISS MELISSA CARONE.
>> THANK YOU. I SWEAR TO TELL MY WHOLE STORY
AND NOTHING BUT MY STORY, SO HELP ME GOB.
>> PLEASE TELL US WHAT EXACTLY YOU WITNESSED WITH THE DOMINION
MACHINES. >> EXCUSE ME, MAYBE TRY LOSING
THE ATTITUDE FIRST, JUST LIKE YOU LOST ALL THOSE TRUMP
BALLOTS. >> I DON'T HANDLE BALLOTS.
>> YEAH, EXACTLY. YOU WOULDN'T KNOW, WOULD YOU?
>> PLEASE JUST TALK. >> YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET SAYING
THAT, BECAUSE I PERSONALLY SAW HUNDREDS, IF NOT THOUSANDS, OF
DEAD PEOPLE VOTE. >> YOU SAW THEM?
>> YEAH, BASICALLY, YES, I REMEMBER BECAUSE I WAS WALKING
OUT AND THEY WERE WALKING IN. AND THEN THEY GAVE THEIR VOTES
TO DEMOCRATS, AND THEN YOU PROBABLY DID SOMETHING CRAZY
WITH THEM, DIDN'T YOU? >> I DON'T HANDLE BALLOTS, AND
I'M A REPUBLICAN. >> THEN YOU'RE LITERALLY
USELESS. YOU HAVE NO USE.
DID YOU CHECK EVERY PULSE? DID YOU TALK TO ALL THE DEAD
PEOPLE? >> WE'RE STATE SENATORS.
>> EXCUSE ME. I HAVE BEEN THREATENED.
MY KIDS HAVE BEEN THREATENED. MY KIDS HAVE THREATENED ME, AND
I THREATENED THEM RIGHT BACK. >> I'M SORRY, BUT THIS TESTIMONY
IS FULL OF LIES. >> I'M NOT LYING.
I SIGNED AN AFTER DAVID. >> AN AFTER DAVID?
>> YEAH, THAT'S CORRECT. DAVID SIGNED, AND THEN I SIGNED
RIGHT AFTER DAVID. >> OKAY, MISS MALONE, WE'RE
GOING TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE NOW. >> YOU'RE JUST LUCKY I NEED
ANOTHER DRINK. >> MR. GIULIANI, YOU MAY CALL
YOUR NEXT WITNESS. >> UH, YES.
MY NEXT WITNESS NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION, OR AT LEAST I HOPE
SHE DOESN'T BECAUSE I LOST THE PAPER WITH ALL HER INFORMATION
ON IT. HONEY, YOU WANT TO GET IN HERE?
COME ON. >> GOOD EVENING, YOUR HONOR.
>> I'M NOT A JUDGE, AND IT'S 11:00 A.M.
WHY EXACTLY ARE YOU HERE TODAY? >> WELL, YOUR HONOR, I'M NOT
PROUD OF THIS, BUT I NEEDED TO COME FORWARD ANYHOW.
YOU SEE, I ATE BALLOTS. >> I'M SORRY, YOU ATE THEM?
>> THAT'S RIGHT. I DIDN'T MEAN TO, BUT THE
DEMOCRATS PULLED UP A FOOD TRUCK AND SAID IT'S LUNCHTIME.
THEY OPENED THE TRUCK AND IT WAS FULL, FULL OF BALLOT SANDWICHES,
BALLOT PIZZAS, BALLOT STEAKS AND BALLOT SPAGHETTIS.
>> WHAT IS A BALLOT SPAGHETTI? >> IT'S A BALLOT THAT GOES LIKE
THIS. >> ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.
CAN WE HAVE THE NEXT WITNESS PLEASE?
>> I WILL PROVIDE WITNESS. HI, I'M MIKE LINDELL, INVENTOR
OF MY PILLOW. DO YOU KNOW A DEMO-RAT CAN HIDE
OVER A MILLION FAKE BALLOTS IN A MY PILLOW AND STILL GET A GREAT
NIGHT'S SLEEP? REFRESHED AND READY TO STEAL AN
ELECTION, THANKS TO MY PILLOW. >> MR. LINDELL, IS THIS A
COMMERCIAL FOR MY PILLOW? >> I WOULD LIKE IT TO BE, YES.
>> OKAY. KEEP THIS MOVING, PLEASE.
>> ARE WE JUST GOING LET ANY RANDOM PERSON COME IN HERE AND
START TALKING? >> EXCUSE ME.
WE ARE ALL HERE OTHER UNDER OAF. AND IF YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT
RANDOM, I VOTED FOR TRUMP YET BIDEN WON.
HMM. MAYBE A LITTLE TOO RANDOM.
YOU AREN'T EVEN GOING ADMIT THAT DOMINION CHEATED.
>> HOW EXACTLY DID DOMINION CHEAT?
>> WELL, FOR STARTERS THEY CHEATED ME OUT OF MY CHEESY
BREAD. >> I THINK YOU'RE CONFUSING
DOMINION WITH DOMINOS. >> EITHER WAY, MY VOTE TOOK
LONGER THAN 30 MINUTES SO IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FREE.
>> MAYBE YOU WANT TO PULL IT BACK A LITTLE.
I'M WORRIED YOU'RE MAKING US LOOK FOOLISH.
[ FARTING ] NANCY.
>> MR. GIULIANI, YOUR NEXT WITNESS?
>> MY NEXT WITNESS IS EXTRAORDINARY, AND I MEAN THAT
IN A MEAN WAY. FRED, GO NUTS.
>> THANKS. THANK YOU.
NOW, WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS I WAS SITTING IN MY BACKYARD WHEN ALL
OF A SUDDEN THERE WAS A SILVER SHIP HOVERED ABOVE ME, AND A
WARM LIGHT BEAMED ME ABOVE THE SPACECRAFT.
>> I'M SORRY, IS THIS AN ALIEN ABDUCTION STORY?
>> PLEASE, SIR, LET ME FINISH. YES, IT WAS ALIENS, BUT THE
SHOCKING PART WAS THIS -- I SAW THEM CLEARLY FILLING OUT
ABSENTEE BALLOTS. ALL OF THEM FOR BIDEN!
>> AND WHEN EXACTLY DID THIS HAPPEN?
>> ABOUT SEVEN YEARS AGO. >> ALL RIGHT, MR. GIULIANI, DO
YOU HAVE ANY WITNESSES THAT HAVE TESTIMONY BASED IN REALITY?
>> YES, I DO. THE DEFENSE CALLS
NICOLE KIDMAN'S CHARACTER FROM "THE UNDOING."
>> YOUR HONOR, MY HUSBAND HUGH GRANT IS INNOCENT.
THERE'S NO WAY HE COULD HAVE BEEN THAT MURDERER.
HE'S TOO HOT AND WHITE. >> AND I'M SORRY, WHERE IS YOUR
ACCENT SUPPOSED TO BE FROM? >> IT'S FROM THE UPPER EAST SIDE
OF AUSTRALIA. CRIKEY, IT'S ZABAR'S.
>> I'M SORRY, BUT DO WE HAVE TO KEEP LISTENING TO THESE PEOPLE?
>> YEAH, EXACTLY, BECAUSE WE HAVE TO LISTEN TO OUR HEARTS AND
OUR MINDS. AND EVEN THOUGH IT'S A
FRAUDULENT ERECTION, IT CAN STILL GET YOU PREGNANT.
>> THIS CHICK IS REALLY ON TO SOMETHING HERE.
>> COULD EVERYONE PLEASE STOP DRINKING DURING THE HEARING?
>> I WOULD LOVE TO, BUT IF I DON'T DRINK A SCOTCH EVERY
15 MINUTES, I EXPLODE. >> AND THIS IS NOT DRINKING,
IT'S ACTUALLY THE COVID VACCINE. I'M TAKING IT FIRST BECAUSE I'M
A RISK. I HAVE TWO BIG OLD
COMORBDATITTIES. >> WE'RE CALLING THIS.
>> WE HAVE TO DO THIS WHOLE THING OVER AGAIN!
>> YOU THINK WE CAN JUST REDO THE ELECTION?
>> NEW YORK WE'RE TALKING ABOUT KIDNAPPING THE GOVERNOR.
>> YEAH, IF WE HAVE ONE MORE SHOT WE CAN GET HER TO OUR
BASEMENT FOR SURE! >> OUT OF CURIOSITY, THEN WHAT?
>> WE GET BACK TO WORK. >> WHAT ARE YOUR CURRENT JOBS?
>> I RETEAR THINGS THAT ARE BROKEN.
>> AND I'M CURIOUS ABOUT FOSSILS.
>> YOU ARE BOTH DISMISSED. MR. GIULIANI, IS ANY OF THIS
REALLY APPROPRIATE? >> SORRY, WHAT?
I BLACKED OUT FOR A SECOND, SIR. >> JUST WRAP IT UP.
>> IN CONCLUSION, I WOULD SAY THE DEFENSE RESTS, BUT WE WILL
NEVER REST, NOT UNTIL THIS ELECTION IS OVERTURNED OR I GET
$10 MILLION IN CASH. AND IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SAW
AND IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SAW HERE TODAY WE'RE HAVING A PRESS
CONFERENCE RIGHT AFTER THIS AT THE RITZ CARLTON PLUMBING AND
HEATING SUPPLY COMPANY RIGHT OFF I-94 BETWEEN A DIRTY MOVIE
THEATER AND A CREMATORIUM. THAT'S NOT ONLY ALLOWED, THEY'RE
REQUIRED. >> THANK YOU, MR. GIULIANI.
>> OH, THANK YOU. >> AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK