“Oi ginge!” “Ginger minger!”
“Alright copperknob?” “Fire crotch”
“Fanta pants” What? Who? Fanta pants?
You’re doing it. Right, “Does the carpet match the curtains?”
Yeah! Normally it’s just like, “Do you have
ginger pubes?” And people are like, “Err ginger pubes gross!”
It’s like, actually they’re fucking awesome. I get this question from strangers!
How is it okay that you can ask a ginger that? Yeah.
You don’t say it to anybody else. Imagine if I had like, dark black pubes.
I do have one solitary black pube. It’s like, that is none of your business!
My eyebrows are dark, my stomach and chest hair is dark... So what does that mean?
“I’ve never slept with a redhead before” All of the time.
That’s not happening today! Today is your lucky day!
It’s like a kind of, like a unicorn or something. It’s like a box to tick.
What are you expecting? Six legs and three boobs or something?
I still feel like it’s confessional. Like when I say I’ve got a redhead brother women
are like, WHISPERS: “Oh I love redhead men.” Women with red hair are seen as dark, mysterious…
Guys see me as like a wild card. ...enchanting wild beasts.
But like if you’re young a ginger guy is meant to be quite, not creepy but like…
Geeky virgins.
“I bet you were bullied at school”
Well yeah obviously. I was bullied at school, but it was by a ginger
girl. And then as soon as I went to secondary school,
that’s when the bullying started. “Oh it’s fine to make fun of someone that
looks different.” No it’s not! I was tall, spotty and ginger so I was like,
a triple threat. It’s really fucking hurtful!
“Why don’t you dye your hair?” Well, I did.
You did. I got, um, blonde highlights.
I went through bleached blonde… I dyed it brown...
...and then from brown I kind of went to like… ...more blonde with a touch of red.
It was like, bright red. And then um, it turned green.
I feel like people are dyeing their hair ginger now.
Thirty percent of all err, hair dye sales, is for a red hair colour.
Getting cussed for having green hair, I found was a lot worse than having ginger hair.
“Sun’s out, gingers in.” It is hibernating season soon.
Spring breaks, it’s literally, sun cream on.
We used to get so sunburnt. So sunburnt.
And now I wear like, factor fifty, and I have a parasol.
If you are just going indoors it’s fine, because we generate more vitamin D anyway.
Try swimming in a wet t-shirt, in the sea, that was your dad’s shirt. You’re like, “Woosh, woosh.”
Err, ohh! “Watch out for that fiery temper!”
When someone tells me I have a fiery temper, I get a fiery temper.
Actually, all ginger people I know are pretty fiery, especially the boys.
Like, out of nowhere, I can get like, quite passionate and quite aggressive.
Yeah I know I’ve got a terrible temper. Have you?
I’m not even gonna lie. But maybe it’s been told to us so much that
we’ve then become it. “Ooh she’s got a bit sensitive, ooh look
at the woman, ooh she’s got sensitive,” BOTH: “Ooh she’s got a fiery temper!”
“You’re not ginger you’re strawberry blonde!”
It’s okay to say I’m a ginger or a readhead. Have I gone through my whole life, being like
slagged off for being ginger, and now you’re gonna call it peach?
Yeah we need to reclaim the word “ginge” as well.
He’s saved as “Ginger Joe” in my phone. And strawberry blonde? Like, no I think you’ll
find it’s ginger. I will correct that altogether, this is “African
sunset.” From now, flat out, “African sunset.”
“Are you worried your kids will be ginge?” I pray for it.
I kind of secretly want a Weasley family. And if I have one redhead, then that will
be my favourite child. I wouldn’t hate having ginger children,
but I would feel nervous... Most of the people who like, bully other people
for being ginger, or take the piss out of them, you wait, you might have a ginger baby…
I say that to people though. ...because I know, that school probably wouldn’t
be great. Yeah and actually do you know what, it would
be the biggest lesson, because that’s when you realize what happens to people and how
much it affects them, how much it hurts them.
“Do you ever wish you weren’t ginger?”
No way. No. I used to.
I just wanted to fit in, not be picked on. Anyone out there who is going through periods
of going “I hate my hair and I hate the way I look.” It is awesome, and you are
awesome. Just embrace the fact that you’re different
already, and I wish I had done that when I was younger.
Being a redhead is a beautiful thing. Yeah.
Be ginge! Yeah. Yeah grow it out, and grow the beard when
you can.
I’ve got one more thing, which I completely
forgot, which you must know about. There’s not a ginger emoji!
Instead of the aubergine I send a carrot.