Vanessa: I'm so glad that
that president won the election. He is going to change our country and make it a better place.
What? Are you kidding? That president is terrible. He is going to completely ruin our country. Oh,
no. Have you ever been in a situation like this where there is a controversial heavy topic? You
want to express your opinion, but you want to say it politely, but you don't want to just
stay silent? What can you say? Hi, I'm Vanessa from SpeakEnglishWithVanessa.com, and today you
are going to learn 20 phrases that you can use to be polite and express your opinion during
controversial conversations. And like always, I've created a free PDF worksheet for you to
download today with all of today's controversial expressions, expressions that you can use to
express yourself completely, but also be polite. You can click on the link in the description
to download this free PDF worksheet today. Before we get started with these controversial
phrases, I want to give a little disclaimer. I wanted to add some controversial phrases to these
polite expressions so that you could see how they might be used in a conversation. Not all of these
controversial expressions are my opinion, but I wanted to give them as an example, because you
will probably hear this in real conversations, whether it's with your family members, with your
friends, with your English speaking friends. I'm sure you'll hear them so I want to give you lots
of examples. So please take the examples with a grain of salt. This means don't take them
seriously, but do learn the polite expressions. All right, let's get started with the first one.
First, polite controversial expression is, "This is just my opinion, but Americans are really rude
when they travel." So you are starting this off by letting them know, this is just my opinion,
but you still want to share your opinion, right? "This is just my opinion, but," great phrase.
Let's go to the next one. "I'm not an expert, but I'd rather be a woman now than in any other
time in history." Sometimes I've been talking with someone who says, "I don't even want to
have children. The world is so terrible today. What if I had a girl? It would be so terrible
for her." Well, what if you said, "You know what? I'm not an expert, but I'd rather be a woman now
than in any other time in history. In the past, women had it way worse." Well, maybe this is just
your opinion. You're not an expert, you're not a professional in women's history, but you know
what? You still want to share your opinion. All right, let's go to the next controversial
polite phrase. "From what I've heard, the US president is a little bit unstable." Well,
this is just saying that you're not an expert, you don't really know, you've just heard some
things. Maybe you read some articles, maybe you listened to some podcasts, maybe you heard your
friends talking. So you can just say, "Well, from what I've heard," this doesn't mean that
it's the facts, but it's just your opinion. Polite controversial expression number four,
is a little tricky. You could say, "I don't mean this the wrong way," or, "Please don't take this
the wrong way, but I think organized religion has done more harm than good." Wow. You're about to
set fire to a giant, explosive conversation with that phrase, but you started this off by saying,
"Please don't take this the wrong way." That means maybe you are very serious about your
religion and the person who's talking knows that. So they're trying to say, "Hey, it's not personal.
I'm not trying to say this in a personal way, this is just my opinion from my perspective.
So please don't take this the wrong way." But this phrase is very tricky because it can
be said in a way that means, "I really don't care what you think. I really don't care if I offend
you, I'm going to say something that's going to make you angry and I don't care." So it depends
on your tone of voice. What if I had said it this way, "I don't mean this the wrong way, but I think
that organized religion has done more harm than good." Okay, you can tell kind of my tone of voice
is not caring, I'm not trying to be thoughtful or careful with the way I say it, I'm just saying it
fast and, "Well, please don't take this the wrong way, but I think..." It's a little too harsh and
brisk. So maybe you do want to offend the other person, well, you can say it like that, but if you
don't want to offend the other person, just say it with a polite and kind tone of voice, "Please
don't take this the wrong way, but I think," and then you can say your controversial opinion.
All right, let's go to the next phrase. "If you ask me, eating a vegan diet is
the only way to save our planet. If you ask me..." Well, okay, maybe they didn't ask you,
but you're just sharing here that this is my opinion. "If you ask me, maybe if I ask you,
you'll have a different opinion, but if you ask me," and then you're controversial opinion.
Polite controversial expression number six is, "It could be that..." Here you are restating what the
other person said and then you'll say your own opinion. Let's take a look at an example. Let's
imagine that someone said, "Hey yeah, the earth is warming, but it's not because of humans. It's just
natural." Well, you can use this phrase, "It could be that the earth is naturally warming and it's
not due to humans, but I'm still going to try to recycle and reduce the waste that I have." Okay,
so here you're affirming what they said, "I heard you. It could be that you're right,
I don't know, but it's not going to change my actions." So this is a really great way
to say your opinion. They know that you don't agree, but you're still being polite about it.
Polite controversial expression number seven is, "As far as I know, most religions have been used
as weapons of war in the past, but I'd love to hear your opinion." Okay, anything related
to religion often gets inflammatory very fast, so feel free to insert whatever controversial opinion
you would like to hear, something about politics, something about another heavy topic of the day,
but our key phrase here, "As far as I know," shows that you're not an expert. You're just sharing
your opinion, and you can tack on to the end, "But I'd love to hear your opinion." It means that
you're not just blindly sharing what you think, you just said a really inflammatory, controversial
statement. So now you're going to give them some time because you care about that other person
and you're going to say, "But I'd love to hear what you think." Or, "But I'd love to hear your
opinion." In fact, you could add this phrase to the end of any of these controversial statements.
You're kind of opening up the floor and letting the other person have room to speak after you've
just said something that lit the house on fire. All right, let's go to our next controversial
polite phrase. Polite phrase number eight, "Personally speaking, I think getting vaccinated
for infectious diseases is the best way to care for yourself and others. What do you think?" Oh,
well, maybe they don't agree with you, maybe you already know that they don't agree with you,
but you're using this polite phrase, "Personally speaking, it's just my personal opinion,
man. It's fine." And then you can open the floor and say, "But what do you think?" Great thing to
say. Polite controversial expression number nine, "To put it another way, you'd be taking away a
basic human right for half the population. To put it another way..." So maybe you're having
this conversation and the other person just isn't really understanding where you're coming from,
so you try to boil it down and make it as simple and clear as possible. So you say,
"To put it another way, but I'd love to hear what you think." You can always add that to
the end because in the end, I hope that you really do care what the other person thinks.
Controversial polite expression number 10, "The point I'm trying to make is
giving someone absolute power over our country is a bad idea." So here you're trying to, again,
boil down or summarize what you're saying, "The point I'm trying to make is it's not about that
specific guy, it's not about that specific woman, in fact, it's about the concept in general." So
you're trying to summarize your opinion. Polite controversial expression number 11,
"I'm not saying that immigration is not a serious issue. What I'm trying to say is I don't think
immigrants should be treated like criminals for just trying to find a better life." Okay,
so this is a two part expression. First, we've got the misunderstanding. If you are at different
points of the spectrum, you could say, "I'm not saying that," because maybe they said,
"Hey, you think immigration is not a big deal." You say, "I'm not saying that immigration is
not a big deal, but what I really mean is..." and then you can try to clarify your opinion,
because you've probably been going around in circles and not really getting to the point.
All right, let's get to the next expression. Expression number 12, "I'm not entirely convinced
that aliens are real, but you never know." So here we're saying, "You know what? I'm not 100% either,
but I'm not entirely convinced, but you never know." So you're trying to find some common
ground. The other person says, "Absolutely not. There are no aliens. There will never be aliens.
This is impossible." You might say, "Well, I'm not entirely convinced myself, but you never
know." So you're kind of leaving that door open and saying, "Hey, I agree too, but I still want
to have some room for possibility." Expression number 13, "I see what you're saying, but... I
hear what you're saying, but..." shows you're listening, but then you also want to share your
opinion. "I see what you're saying, but I just think gender identity is a very personal issue
and we shouldn't treat people differently based on that." Okay, well, you're acknowledging that they
have said something different, but you still want to share your opinion. "I see what you're saying,
but here's my controversial opinion." Controversial phrase number 14, "Hear
me out on this." Hear me out on this means the other person's talking so much, they're just not
giving you room to speak and they just shot down your idea right away and said, "No, that's not
a good idea." So you use this phrase, "Hey, okay, hear me out on this. By giving education to women
and girls, we could drastically reduce poverty around the world. We have to focus on this."
Okay, they gave you one second to be able to say your opinion because you used that phrase,
"Hear me out on this." "Please listen to me," is what you're really trying to say. "Hear me
out on this. I just want to tell you what I think. Please listen for just a moment."
All right, let's go to our next phrase. Controversial polite phrase number 15 is a
very indirect phrase, "I wonder if it's possible that there was some propaganda involved in the
research of this. Do you know who funded this research? I wonder if it's possible that..." So
we've got wonder. We've got, "If it's possible," this is a very indirect. So maybe you think,
"Nope, that is absolutely biased. There was a lot of propaganda in that," but you don't want
to say it so directly. You could use this indirect phrase, "I wonder if it's possible that there was
some propaganda involved in this project. Do you know who funded the research?" Oh, lovely phrase.
Let's go to the next one. Controversial, but polite phrase number 16 is, "I'm not sure if it's
true that the world is run by a secret society of lizard people, but who am I to." Say this
phrase is often used for conspiracy theories or things that you really just don't want to debate.
You could say, "I'm not sure it's true that I don't know your religion is the best religion,
but who am I to say?" That last phrase is key here. It means, "I'm not in authority, so don't
take my opinion for it. You can still believe what you want to believe. Who am I to say?" It
kind of puts yourself out of the spotlight and it allows the other person to keep the integrity
of their position. And it can also mean, "Hey, I don't want to debate this. Who am I to say I
don't really want to talk about this anymore." All right, let's go to our next phrase. Phrase
number 17 is kind of soft, but kind of direct too, "I'm afraid I don't agree that the earth is
flat. There's a lot of evidence to suggest that it is round. I'm afraid I don't agree that..."
So you're not really afraid here, you're not scared of something, but that phrase,
"I'm afraid that" is a very soft way to introduce something. Let's say that your boss asks you,
"Hey, are you going to have that project done by 3:00 PM?" You could use this lovely phrase,
"I'm afraid that I won't have it done by 3:00 PM, but I can have it finished by the end of the day."
It's a very soft way to introduce something. All right, let's go to our next phrase.
Controversial polite phrase number 18 also uses, "I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I don't really know
enough to speak on that topic, but here's my opinion. It seems like the president's economic
policy is really going to damage the poorest in our country." Okay, so here at the beginning,
you are emphasizing that, "I'm not an expert." That's kind of the theme with a lot of these as
you're trying to remind the other person, and a good reminder to yourself, that this is just
your opinion. So you can use this great phrase, "I'm afraid that I don't really know enough to
speak on it, but here, I'm going to speak on it anyway." And you can always tack onto the end,
"But I'd love to hear what you think," is just a good way to open the floor to someone else.
All right, let's go to the next phrase. Controversial, but polite phrase number 19,
we're almost at the end, is kind of a two for one deal. It is, "I could be wrong,
or correct me if I'm wrong, but invading that country was an act of war that wasn't justified
so I think the politicians should be tried as war criminals." Okay, that's a very big statement and
you're kind of opening it up to say, "Correct me if I'm wrong. Well, I could be wrong," and you're
just kind of prefacing it with that idea that, "I'm not an expert, but here's my opinion anyway."
And our final controversial, but polite expression is for when someone else says a very inflammatory
statement that you just can't be silent about, but maybe you realize, "Hey, I don't want to launch
into a huge conversation with you about it." Maybe they say, "Well, men are just natural born
leaders. Women can't be leaders. Women can't be in politics. They can't be administrators. Men will
always be better at that." Well, if you disagree, you can simply say, "Well, that's one way of
looking at it." So you're letting them know, "That's one way of perceiving this situation. I
have a different opinion, but I'm going to kind of cut off the conversation here because I don't want
to talk about it. Well, that's one way of looking at it." And it kind of preserves your dignity too,
because you're not just arguing senselessly with someone who you don't agree with and you don't
ever think will come to your way of seeing things. Whew. I hope that these 20 controversial,
but polite expressions help you the next time that you're in a sticky situation where you're
talking about something controversial, but you would love to be polite and maintain a
relationship with the other person. And don't miss the free PDF worksheet that I
have created for you today with all of these important phrases. You want to make sure that
you have them in your vocabulary toolbox when you need to use them. So please download the
free worksheet with all of these expressions, sample sentences, ideas and ways to use them,
some tips, some things to avoid that I talked about in this lesson. Download this worksheet.
You can click on the link below to do that. Well, thank you so much for learning English with
me and I'll see you again next Friday for a new lesson here on my YouTube channel. Bye. But wait,
are you ready for more? I recommend watching this video next where you will learn 20 polite
expressions that you can use instead of, "I don't like it." What if your neighbor gives
you some food that you just don't like and you don't want her to give it to you again
and again? What can you politely say? Watch that video to find out and I'll see you there. Bye.