-I'm happy to have you here in the building, in New York.
Don't you love the city during the holidays, New York?
-Oh, beautiful, beautiful. I'm glad it's not snowing.
De Blasio, not good with snow, obviously.
I mean, it's like the Donner party when it snows.
You know, camp out at the bottom of the mountain
and eat your kin. [ Laughter ]
I went over to -- I went over to Macy's today.
Unbelievably, they had -- Santa Claus was already up.
-Yeah.
-And they made a weird choice this year.
They've gone with Bernie Sanders as Santa Claus.
-Oh, is that -- that's very interesting.
-All the children line up, they get up there,
they hop up on his lap,
and then he tells each kid what he would like from them.
[ Laughter ] -That's amazing!
-A little bit of a different thing this year.
-Little bit of a different take. Yeah.
But did you -- How was your flight in?
Did you have a good flight?
-Well, listen, the flight was lovely,
but the plane made the ultimate mistake.
It arrived early at the gate. -Oh, no.
-You know, like -- -That's the worst.
-It's harder to get into your airport
when you arrive earlier at the gate
than it is to get into the country.
They take us all the way back out to the end of the runway.
They turn off all the lights. You got to sit there.
You can't move. I've got a weak bladder.
I've got to the bathroom. [ Laughter ]
So, I'm waiting, you know, guy goes in from row one,
and I'm thinking, "I've got to get in there,
but I'm in row four," so I've got to look for a diversion.
He comes out. I use that to take the,
you know, flight attendant's attention away.
I go up -- boom! I'm in like a shot.
I pull the door. Great.
But then I realize that he has had
what I can only assume is, like,
a silhouette-altering bowel movement and now...
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, my God. That's so awful.
-I'm trapped in there
so I don't get blamed with it for a half an hour.
[ Laughter ]
We start moving back to the terminal.
I come out, because you got to return to the seat,
and I got to make that face, like, you know,
for all the people in the waft zone, "Don't look at me."
[ Laughter ]
"I didn't do it." -Waft zone. Good God.
[ Laughter ]
I just -- I like having you in the building.
I feel like this is, like -- Have you been back?
-I haven't been back in a long time, Jimmy.
You know, we used to work with
"Saturday Night Live" on 8, right?
-Yeah. -And Letterman was here.
-Yeah, Letterman was here.
When I did "Saturday Night Live,"
Conan was here. -Yeah.
And, you know, when I first saw you on "Saturday Night Live,"
I thought, "Well, this is the guy who should do it."
I mean, you were absolutely great at it.
And I even remember at some point, I was honored.
I think you did an impression of me at some point.
-Yeah, I did. Absolutely.
-Do we have a -- Do we have a photo of that?
-They have it, but I wasn't that good.
But I tried to do an impression of you.
[ Laughter ]
-That's pretty good. -It's not that bad.
-Yeah, but I was -- I was a fan.
This was more -- yeah. I was honoring you.
-I do one impression. -You do an impression?
-Yes, I -- I don't know --
-I've never seen Dennis Miller do an impression.
-You might cadge it out of me, if you try.
-What do you guys think? You want to see an impression?
[ Cheers and applause ]
-What a nice crowd.
I do Rocket Raccoon from "Guardians of the Galaxy."
-Wow. -Yeah.
-All right, let's see it. -Ready?
-Yeah. -Where's my camera, there?
-Yeah.
-Yeah, I'm just [bleep] around. [ Laughter ]
I'm not gonna fly in from California to New York
to do a raccoon impression.
-Oh, God. Oh, that's so you.
I love it. When you meet people,
you want them to be who you think they are.
I've been a fan of yours forever.
-Oh, well, that's sweet of you, Jim.
When I watch you, I always think,
you seem to inhabit when you were on "Saturday Night Live,"
doing the news, and I thought, "This kid's --"
Was it a dream of yours or...? -Yeah.
-Yeah? Like, when you were young?
-I watched every "Saturday Night Live" religiously.
That's the only thing I ever wanted to do.
I just loved it so much.
-I remember when it happened for me.
I was writing jokes in Pittsburgh.
I was working at a comedy club, and a kid came into town.
I won't say his name, but he bought some jokes off me,
and then I went back to my apartment.
I'm living in this crap, 60 buck-a-month apartment
with a hot plate, you know,
eating ramen off a double album cover.
And I'm sitting there and -- [ Laughter ]
I'm watching this guy on "The Tonight Show"
with Johnny, and he tells a joke that I've written,
and Johnny Carson, like, falls out.
And I'm sitting there leading the crappiest life imaginable.
-Yeah. -I don't know about you.
At that point, I thought I have to become the conduit
for these jokes, even though I was reticent up front.
You know, I was kind of shy about doing it.
But it's sort of like living in East Berlin,
and you're walking on your side of the wall,
and they're shooting snitches,
and on the other side of the wall, you know,
they're playing racquetball, and everybody's getting laid.
You think, "I gotta --" [ Laughter ]
"I gotta hop the wall and start telling these jokes.
This is out of hand." -Yeah.