- [Dunk] Hey guys, in this game you play as the president.
There he is now, exiting the White House.
- [Michael Wilson] "Ok!"
"Let's PARRRTTTYYY!!!"
"Welcome to the White House."
- [Dunk] So, in this game, the vice president is evil.
I'm the President, the Vice President is evil.
So, in order to save America,
I need to wipe out the entire United States military.
But I'm the good guy.
- [Michael] "Jody, how's my schedule look for today?"
- [Jody] "You've got a conference and dinner party at the Japanese Embassy regarding wildlife protection."
- [Michael] "Oh, yeah."
"Sorry, but I'll have to cancel that."
"I'm heading out to save America."
"The gentleman in me goes off the clock"
"at 5 p.m."
- [Dunk] Yep, I'm the same exact way.
- [Dunk] I noticed- - [Michael] "And now, I'm gonna..."
- [Dunk] What?
- [Michael] "...take America back!!"
- [Dunk] Yeah!!! (Applauding) All-
- [Jody] "The enemy forces have even captured San Francisco's cable cars."
- [Dunk] Oh my god.
- [Jody] "We can't let them get away with using the symbol of this great American city."
- [Dunk] Hey!
Those cable cars are a symbol of this great American city...
...of San Diego.
Let me switch to the... grenade launcher.
There we go!
- [Michael] "The fight will continue..."
"...as long as the America, inside my heart, is still alive."
(Dunkey laughs)
- [Michael] "An email?"
- [Jody] "Actually it's a sound file."
- [Michael] "Play it for me."
- [Jody] "Yes, boss."
- [Sound file] "We..."
...
- [Michael] "The sound quality is terrible."
- [Voice] "If you fail to comply"
"the Alcatraz Canon will set you back..."
- [Michael] "Will it now?" (Dunkey laughs)
"I'll smash it faster than a Florida recount!"
- [Michael] "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my- oh my-"
- [Dunk] I found the Taunt button.
- [Michael] "That's it."
- "Stoke up the barbecue!"
- [Dunk] What?
- [Michael] "Stoke up the barbecue!"
- [Dunk] Sti- What is he saying?
- [Michael] "Stoke up the barbecue!"
- [Dunk] Still got the barbecue?
- [Michael] "Stoke up the barbecue!"
- [Dunk] What are you saying?!
- [Dunk] What?
- [Dunk] What are you sa-?
What is that noise?
- [Jody] "Didn't you say, you'd "smash them faster than a Florida recount"?"
- [Dunk] Shut up, lady!
I'm trying to figure out what he's saying.
- [Michael] "Going up against jokers like this..."
"is so tiring!"
(Dunkey laughs)
"I'll have to ask you to leave this stage"
"before you get hurt."
- [Dunk] One second, you guys, I gotta save the Grand Canyon.
- [Jody] "Whoa!"
- [Dunk] There we go, now it's saved.
You're welcome, Florida!
I saved it!
Oh-! Where's the floor?!
The floor disappeared during the cutscene!
What?
The truck is- Wait, the truck-
Okay, the truck is gone.
Okay, this is stupid.
(Game Over music)
- [Michael] "Richard!"
- [Richard] "Oh, you've done excellent work, Michael."
"How about a reward to show my appreciation?"
- [Dunk] Oh, a reward!
All right!
I'll take it!
- [Richard] "Poison gas will annihilate the city..."
"in 5 minutes."
- [Dunk] Thank you...
- [Richard] "Have a nice day... or not, Michael."
(Evil laugh)
- [Dunk] Okay.
Bye-bye.
- [Jody] "Mr. President, I haven't been this happy since..."
"Since that supermarket going out of business sale,"
"when I was searching for my favorite candy and..."
"I found the last box, all covered in dust, at the back of the rack."
"And the expiration date was still good."
- [Michael] "I know the feeling, Jody."
- [Command Cruiser] "Metal Wolf..."
"I don't know what you're up to."
(Dunkey laughs)
- [Command Cruiser] "But I can tell you this,"
"you're..."
- [Dunk] What?
- [Command Cruiser] "You're public enemy number one!" - [Dunk] OH MY GOD...
- [Michael] "I'll head to Liberty Island to rescue my men."
"And the reason is..."
"Because I'm the President of this Great United States of America!" (Dunkey laughs)
"I can't turn my back on a friend."
"And the reason is..."
"I'm the President of the United States."
(Dunkey laughs)
- [Jody] "Who did that to the White House?"
"They shouldn't call it the White House."
"They should call it the "Fight House"."
- [Dunk] Turn it off.
Turn it off.
- [Richard] "Hello, Michael."
"How's life treating you?"
- [Michael] "Richard!"
"Richard!!!"
"Richa-a-a-rd!"
"Richard!"
- [Richard] "Michael!"
- [Michael] "Richard!"
- [Richard] "Michael!"
- [Michael] "Richard!"
"Richard!!!"
- [Richard] "Hey there, Michael."
- [Michael] "RICHAAAAARD!!" (Dunkey laughs hard)
- [Richard] "Is that all you got to show for your medal of honor?"
"Your medal of honor would look better on me!"
"Give-!" (Dunkey laughs)
- [Dunk] I'm gonna die if I beat this whole game. (Laughing)
- [Richard] "...come at me..."
"with all your body and soul!"
"I'll hug you to death!"
(Dunkey laughs)
- [Dunk] Come and fight, you son of a bitch!
Ah!
What the f-?!
(Laughs) Stop!
Stop! (Laughing)
That's it, Richard!
You have pissed me off!
No.
Now I'm- Now I couldn't freakin' tell ya! [?] (Laughing)
- [Michael] "A A A A A A A A a a a a a a a a a a a a!!!" (Michael goes super saiyan)
- [Dunk] See what happens, Richard?
- [Michael] "How do you like me now?!"
- [Dunk] Yeah!!! - [Mario] "So Long, Gay Bowser!"
- [Dunk] FUCK YOU, RICHARD!
Uh-oh! He's turning on his Mega Mode.
All right, guys! This is is the final Boss Fight!
Here we go!
All right- (stutters) I beat 'em!
It's over.
(Richard screaming)
(Michael screaming)
- [Dunk] Why is he still screaming?
- [Jody] "That's pointless, Mr. President." (Dunkey laughs)
- [Michael] "Nothing is pointless!"
"And the reason is..."
"Because I'm the president of the Great United States of America!" (Dunkey starts laughing hard in the background)
"Yeah!"
- [Jody] "Mr. President!"
- [Michael] "Jody..."
"I'm gonna step out into outer space."
"See you soon!"
[OUTRO] ♪ "Assign Monk" - Metal Wolf Chaos OST ♪