-Republicans, including Donald Trump,
gathered for a truly unhinged conservative conference
over the weekend where Trump claimed,
among other things,
that he was the most persecuted individual in American history
after last week's bombshell hearing
of the January 6th committee embarrassed him by airing
never before seen outtakes of his speech
from the day after the insurrection.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
[ Cheers and applause ]
If, if you want a sense
of what the modern conservative movement is truly like,
there's probably no better example than this clip
from over the weekend of Texas Senator Ted Cruz
walking on stage to,
let's say, some slightly overzealous fanfare
involving lights, dramatic music, and smoke machines.
♪♪
-Wow! -Yeah.
[ Light laughter ]
Yeah. Wow.
Talk about blowing smoke up someone's ass.
There's never been a bigger gap between the drama of an entrance
and the charisma of the person making the entrance.
That was like if the lights if the lights went down
and you heard Michael Buffer say,
"Let's get ready to rumble!"
And then the lights came up on like a spelling bee.
[ Light laughter ]
Not a good one. Not scripts.
I think after an entrance like that,
you expect to see The Rock,
not someone with the personality of a rock.
Can you smell what Ted Cruz is cooking?
It's an expired Lean Cuisine.
I found it in the back of the freezer,
just covered in ice, but I think it's probably still good, right?
It would have been great if they gave him the same introduction,
but instead he had to enter with his rolling suitcase
like he was flying to Cancun. [ Laughter ]
Also, why is this guy having so much fun?
In the last two years, he's been caught leaving Texas
during a statewide weather emergency and power outage.
He was confronted by police at an airport in Montana
after arguing with an employee
and slinked on to Tucker Carlson show with his tail
between his legs to grovel and beg for forgiveness
because he committed the grave sin of calling
January six a violent terrorist attack.
And he helped foment that attack in the first place.
If even one of those things happened to me,
I'd never show my face in public again.
But this bozo gets to whoop it up shamelessly
with the pyrotechnics
from an eighth graders roller skate party.
It's not fair!
And unfortunately, that entrance was just the beginning.
This is what the Republican Party
is now all empty spectacle, no substance.
They're all just professional wrestlers and insult comics now,
which I guess is what Cruz is going for in his speech
when he tried out a crude joke for the crowd.
-I talked to a student recently at one of our
woke college campuses who said she is required in every class
to introduce herself and to give her pronouns.
[ Crowd jeering, booing ]
Well, I'm Ted Cruz, and my pronoun is kiss my ass.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Ted Cruz is less a person
and more a bumper sticker with a beard.
Of course, the real victim in that story isn't Ted Cruz.
It's the student at the supposed woke university
who probably stumbled across Cruz on campus
with his head sticking out of the bushes.
[ As Cruz ] Hey, kid, they teachin' any
critical race theory in there?
They burnin' the Seuss books?
[ Normal voice ] That right there, "Kiss my ass."
That's the thesis statement for modern conservatism.
They don't have any ideas and they don't like
any of anybody else's ideas.
So they're left with just childish insult, comedy
and culture war obsessions.
But I don't even think the people in the crowd
understood the joke, since it makes no sense.
They just roared at Cruz saying the word ass.
The same thing happens at Trump rallies all the time.
The dude just rambles incoherently
for an hour about windmills
and B-list celebrities he met in the '80s,
and there are long stretches where even his own audience
is bored out of their minds.
Sometimes the camera even cuts to the people in the crowd
just standing there slack jawed in silence.
But then, when Trump senses he's starting to lose the crowd,
he'll say something naughty, like,
[As Trump] And Then I told that son of a bitch to go
straight to hell. [Normal voice] And the crowd will just roar
like a bunch of middle schoolers quoting "South Park" lines
to each other at recess.
And then Cartman said, uh, "Suck my balls."
[ Laughter ]
That is, of course, when Trump isn't whining incessantly
about how he's being treated or repeating some weird
lie an imaginary friend supposedly told him,
which is what happened over the weekend.
At that same conservative conference,
Trump repeated a line he had also used
at one of his rallies last week
that he is the most persecuted person in American history.
-A friend of mine recently said that I was
the most persecuted person in the history of our country.
And. I said, that's a strong statement.
But then I thought about it and I felt, you know,
he may very well be right. A friend of mine recently said
that I was the most persecuted person
in the history of our country. Me the most persecuted.
I never thought it that way. I never had time.
I was always fighting with these people
that were trying to persecute me.
I didn't have time to think about being persecuted
because I was fighting persecution.
When I thought about it, though, I sit back.
He's a very smart guy, successful.
I thought -- sat back I said, you know,
he may very well be right.
-I like the idea that this never occurred to Trump
until a friend suggested it.
This where he gets all his ideas.
You know, Donald, I was thinking your situation
kind of reminds me of, well, the Salem witch trials.
It's almost like it's almost like it's a hunt.
For witches, Donald. You know, like a witch hunt.
[ As Trump ] Witch hunt, you say? That's pretty good, friend.
Dear friend.
I'm going to tweet that with no context.
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] I also -- first of all I love that they never
named the friend, he's like,
[As Trump] That's good. I'm going to quote you on that.
[ As friend ] No, no, no. Don't say my name.
Nobody can know I'm your [Bleep] friend, dude.
[ Normal voice ] I also I also love the idea
that Trump "sat back"
and thought about it,
you know, after he finished conjugating persecuted.
[ As Trump ] Persecuted, persecution.
They persecute and I'm the persecutee.
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] He just sat back and he thought about it.
And he came to the conclusion that, yes, his friend was right.
I'm sure he was just sitting in his study with a pipe
and smoking jacket surrounded by walls of books,
comparing himself to other historical examples.
[As Trump ] Famous persecuted Americans, let's see --
there's me, there's Rosa Parks, there's Rubin Hurricane Carter.
I guess out of those three, it's got to be me,
if it's those three.
Although I do love hurricanes, don't we, folks,
we love, we love the boxer in the clearing
stands a boxer and a fighter by his trade.
So true. And also we love hurricanes.
The actual storms, of course,
when I heard all the water and the wind
and the destruction, you know, sometimes I think to myself,
I would love I would love to be swept up in a hurricane
and carried away, away from all these earthly concerns.
The reality, the reality, the many horrors,
the many horrors I have visited upon myself
and the people around me. But I can't,
because I'm trapped here in this mortal coil.
We love the coil, don't we folks?
I'm here in the mortal coil.
Well, I'm buffeted by the vicissitudes of life
and where I will inevitably face the grim consequences
of all the destruction I have wrought
these guys know what I'm talking about.
[ Normal voice ] Personally, I think that maybe Trump
is just especially wounded after the January six committee aired
those embarrassing outtakes last week
from his speech the day after the attempted coup.
In addition to showing us what Trump was unwilling to say,
for example, he didn't want to say that the election was over
or that the rioters should face justice.
They also showed us that maybe Trump's not like
the best reader. -Whenever you're ready, sir.
-I would like to begin by addressing
the heinous attack yesterday.
And to those who broke the law, you will pay.
You do not represent our movement.
You do not represent our country.
And if you broke the law -- I can't say that.
I'm not, can you -- I already said "you will pay."
The demonstrators who infiltrated the Capitol
have defied the seat of dus-- that's defiled, right.
So I can't see it very well.
Okay, I'll do this. I'm going to do it. Let's go.
But this election is now over.
Congress has certified the results.
I don't want to say the election's over.
I just want to say Congress has certified the results
without saying the election's over. Okay?
I would like to begin by addressing
the heinous attack yesterday, yesterday's a hard word for me.
-Just take it out. The heinous attack --
Say heinous attack on our nation. -Ah, good.
Take the word yesterday out, because it doesn't work with it.
The heinous attack.
My only goal was to ensure the integrity of the vote.
-Nailed it. Nailed it.
[ As Trump ] I think you could take out yesterday
because there remember, it was yesterday
because it was such a living [Bleep] nightmare.
[ Normal voice ] Really, the word "yesterday" is a hard word for you?
It's three syllables.
Maybe yesterday is difficult for him
because he doesn't understand the concept.
He literally has no memory
of anything that happened more than 5 minutes ago.
He's like a caveman who's not sure
if the sun will come back out after it goes down at night.
That's why he looks straight at it, you know,
to make sure to make sure it's still there.
I think my favorite part of that sequence of clips
is this move he does when he screws up.
He looks like he's surrounded by a swarm of invisible bees.
Does he think he can literally fight off the word
with his bare hands?
[ As Trump ] Give that three syllable word away from me
or I'll have to karate chop it.
[ Normal voice ] In addition to being an active threat to democracy,
the modern Republican Party is not a serious governing party.
They don't have any discernible principles
other than their open embrace of authoritarianism
and their obsession with culture, war, nonsense.
They remain in thrall to a dangerous demagogue
who nearly overthrew American democracy
and will absolutely try again if he gets the chance.
They're all desperate to be seen as loyal to Trump,
and in order to do that,
Republicans know exactly what they have to do
because Trump tells them what to do.
His instructions are very clear.
If you want my support, then you have to.
-Kiss my ass. -This has been "A Close Look."
[ Applause ]
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