Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they're so good at it.
What?
That's why you don't see them.
They're really good at hiding.
What do you call a Dad who lies about having kids?
What DO you call a Dad who lies about having kids?
A faux pa.
Two goldfish are in a tank, one goldfish says to the other.
Do you know how to drive this thing?
Hey Lola, what's going on?
Oh I'm kind of busy, so I'll call you later.
Don't call me Later, call me Daddy!
No, no.
My friend said to me what rhymes with orange,
and I said, no it doesn't.
That's a good one.
That's a really good bad joke.
No because you looked at me like, 'Please laugh!'
You were like...
How does Darth Vader like his toast?
On the dark side.
It's so bad.
Toasters these days do both sides.
How many ears does Captain Kirk have?
Two.
Three. The right ear, the left ear, and the final front-ear.
I don't get it, but it's still funny.
Wait, is that the name of a boat or something?
No, that's Star Trek. Star Trek!!
What do prisoners used to call each other?
Cell phones.
I get it but it's so bad.
The look after you tell a joke, you're like...
You're like cell phones...
Do you guys know I'm starting a job next week?
Yeah. I hope it's gonna be a good Korea move.
No, you're going to Sol.
Oh what did I say?
You said I'm starting a new job next week.
Oh whoops! Let's start over... I got it. I got it.
How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
He felt his presents.
I don't get it.
Your eyebrows are like, you look so creepy.
What? He felt this presents,
he was like, 'Oh this is a salt shaker.'
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's fine, he woke up.
I just got that, that's pretty good.
The kid napping at school. It took me a second.
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time,
are they guilty of resisting a rest?
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
Wait, that's not the joke.
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other, does this taste funny to you?
That's the best one.
Does this taste funny to you?
We heard you!
That's the best joke anybody has ever told me.
Can you imagine, and they're eating these people?
I'm laughing because you're laughing so hard.
Why was the belt sent to jail?
For holding up a pair of pants!
You're laughing way to hard at these.
You shouldn't be laughing this hard.
The cannibal and the clown.
That's not that funny.
I'm just like visualizing it - and you're telling a kid this joke.
And these guys are eating people.
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction,
so I packed up my stuff and right!
Ohhhh, because it should be left?
What do you call hen who counts her eggs?
A mathema-chicken.
These are so good.
My girlfriend gave me a list of things she'd like to do for her 32nd birthday.
And I told her just the way we can do all of that in 30 seconds!
Good job guys! What was your favorite?
Oh the cannibals.
The cannibals was amazing.
Except he laughed way too hard.
Com'on - that image?
She's looking at you like you're insane.