I just wanna explore, "What does Zootopia have for us?"
And the answer is the same bullshit with different people.
I have not seen Zootopia.
"Judy's Romantic Date" ...So Judy is the rabbit, yeah?
Gonna get a little bit furry in here, I guess? I don't know...
'Cute Zee' is one of those websites that just sucks dick.
Uh...and it does it great!
"Judy's Romantic Date". So do these two actually date and also, what is with his face?
He's got like a... thousand yard stare.
Let's make her look like uh...Elsa, 'cause why the fuck not?
[bland muzak plays] Love that...good old school Hobby Lobby music.
I like the clown shoes, that's a good choice.
Alright, there you go, good job, we did it!
She just got mangled, what happened to her?
Patching you up in the field, I guess.
[overdramatic music plays] Not sure what's with the music. It sounds like...
It sounds like we're... must be under attack.
The music's a little bit overdramatic for... this...
So I have to assume that we're still under siege and that's why... she's just standing up.
There's a hostage situation, she's gotta get in there...
It's like a... koala or something, that's got the-the... orphanage... on lockdown.
Got counter-snipers across the street from the park.
As soon as he pops his head out, bam. Done.
Done and dusted.
Y'know, kids will be okay... maybe scarred for life, but you know what?
They're not dead, so... We're doing the right thing, here.
Anyway, I'm gonna just, like... stab needles into your ears.
Word to the wise....
SafeSearch needs to stay on when you search "Zootopia"
Anyway, this is happening.
"Maybe I should take a break". Okay...?
Making coffee? Is this really something that he's gonna get mad at us about?
Like, this is something that usually you're expected to do.
I mean, she's living on the edge, eating donuts and drinking coffee while she's at work?
Rubble rouser up here(!)
Making copies?
Holy fuck, what a lazy bitch(!)
I'm not slacking off! I'm making a wanted poster of... probably a wanted criminal.
I mean, this sounds like, it was-
OH MY GOD! Oh, woah, okay, here- hold the-
Oh, fuck!
Okay. He...caught me when I was just...
I had my....
...tits out.
Everything she was doing was totally okay and normal, and then she just...
...decided that taking off her clothes was a good idea.
This is the kind of quality that I expect.
Does this method work on, um... on rabbits?
I actually don't know what this device is.
Alright, we've just peeled her face off.
Good...
"Have I played any pregnant Judy Hopps open heart surgery games?" Not yet.
Just the spa ones so far.
...Okay, we're gonna switch games now.
[gun cocking sound]
I don't know why there are gun cocking noises, either.
"Oh no! Judy's uniform is ruined! You must fix this!"
I can't fix this situation. This situation is just broken.
...I'll help out with the uniform, though.
[gun cocking sound] [jovial music plays]
This music seems inappropriate, but fine.
Watch his face when I get done drying something off.
And we're done here!
[jovial music continues]
The faces here.
His face? He's happy, she's happy... She's NOT happy.
We're gonna play this one.
"This is horrible?" ...Yeah.
[heartbeat]
[another heartbeat]
She only has one heart. There's only one heart in each... body.
There's not one in each boob, that's not how it works.
(sighing) S'fine!
I'm not sure what this device is, but I have a feeling it's gonna open her brain up, isn't it?
So let's just flip the switch and... It's the electric chair!
Good! We're doctors.
"Elsa is ready for the next stage of the treatment!"
And I'm not!
She gave herself a lobotomy with ice... it looks like.
And she got a tiara... How did...?
How do you fuck up putting on a tiara so bad that you shove it into your brain through your skull?
I'm not a doctor, but I don't think you should put bandaids on someone's head.
Like, ON their brain, directly onto their brain.
But sure, fuck it, I'm not the doctor. This game knows better than me, obviously(!)
[kissing sound-effects]
The complete style change is... just weird, but...
...What?
(laughing) ...Okay?
And just below it- Look at all these OTHER Minecraft games we can play!
Oh, is there one where we have to, like, help him... get brain surgery 'cause a creeper blew up or something?
Or we have to deal with his PTSD? That would be great!
Anyway... (laughs)
[cheery music plays]
(laughing) I'm not sure what I was expecting!
Cute-games.com!
[gunshot noise]
That is some slow water.
Water takes forever... and appears in solid chunks on your body...
...which you must wipe away with a towel.
First your face...
...Then you're done.
This perspective on the- I mean, like... with Minecraft, when you get the- ...Wait a minute-
Hold on, hold on, hold on...
You can see... whoever made this!
Awh-holy shit, there it is!
That is totally the fucking one!
"Oh, our friend Steve from Minecraft have some problems." ...Alright.
"It started to rain and SHE is in the forest. SHE needs your help to clean HER body... and have a perfect look."
...Alright.
"Frozen Dressup Minecraft Edition"
Yes! YES, this is what I wanted!
[Rev cackles]
Ohhh, it's so good! Look at th-this Paula Deen motherfucker over here!
[royalty-free music plays] It's this song! Oh, I'm so glad they don't change it!
It makes me happy, it's like meeting an old friend and punching him in the face.
Skate or die, Shrek. I don't make the rules.
...I just enforce them.
Shrek: "Ooooooooh!"
...Yes.
[murmuring] "One Christmas, a mysterious mistletoe appeared in the Undertale world..."
Napstablook X Nap-pssterblook! The perfect ship!
They both will just stay at home and pirate video games and music.
Oh...
Good.
"You did it! Comment 'Napstablook x Napstablook forever' if you got here!"
I like how... ships... characters with themselves.
Yeah, sure. Let's not... j-just... incest, sure. Why not, DeviantArt?
Why not, DeviantArt? Jus-...
...weird incestuous shit. I mean, we've already shipped people with themselves, so why not have two brothers makeout?
That's not weird. "They're brothers?" But they can makeout. 'Cause they're close.
(softly) S'okay, we don't have to do this. Santa: "Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!"
Suddenly Santa?! What the fuck?!
Um, Andrew, who you guys probably remember from the, uh, 'Tabletop Game' streams that we did...
Uh, or the drunken Mario Party thing we did with Critikal...
Um, recommended this when we were playing 'Killing Floor' the other day.
He said, "Go to the Boobah Zone."
I said, "What the fuck is the Boobah Zone?"
The fuck is the- What IS this?
Come on, dog! G-Get the ball!
Why is there so much content here? Who coded this? And why?
What happens if I complete the launch code?
[high pitched squeals]
Oh, why are they moving?
Why would you add this... level of difficulty to my... 5-year-old mind?
I don't comprehend... anything that's happening.
[honky-tonk music plays] ...What?
[HONK!] [slide whistle] [HONK!] [slide whistle]
...What?! [HONK!] [slide whistle]
[squealing] Ohh...
Ohhhh no... [more squeals]
But there's so much thing... there's so much thing here!
And then there- [squeal] [drumbeat starts]
Do they have names?
Issthisone- The blue one, Zoomba?
And then this one- ZingZingZingba?
And thissis- Children: "Zumbah!"
...Roomba?
And the one that's teabagging in the background is- Children: "Humbah!"
...What?
No, wait, that one is Zingba!
Children: "Zumbah!" No, that one's Zumba.
Children: "Zing Zing Zingbah! Jumbah! Humbah!"
...what?
No, they're all looking at me now. Children: "Jingbah!"
[drumbeat stops]
(quietly) ...Oh god.
Oh god.
Can we make them all Grandpa?
Everyone is Grandpa.
'Cept for the middle one, which is Grumpy Black Guy.
[Rev laughs quietly]
[continued laughter]
(laughing) What the fuck...?
Am I okay?
I don't know if I'm okay.
What the actual fuck.