- If you rarely go out of your comfort zone,
maybe one of your values is security.
If you prioritize achievement
over spending time with others,
then maybe one of your core values is success.
If like me, you're always trying to find ways
to learn about yourself,
Then maybe one of your core values is growth.
(gentle music)
Hey there guys and welcome back to Unjaded Jane,
welcome to episode four of Summer of Self,
a little series where we dig into frameworks
for self-growth, self-love and introspection.
So, what are core values?
Quite simply, your core values are your framework
to guide every decision that you make in your life.
Without realizing it, you have core values.
They are the reason that you go to the gym or not.
You work hard at school or not.
You put a lot of energy into friends
or family or yourself or not.
Everything that you do is guided by
and filtered through your values,
because your values of what you have decided
is most important in your life.
But honestly, how many people actually know
what their core values are?
Like when asked, you could just produce
your core values like that on your hand.
The reason I think this is so important
is because at the end of the day,
we are all in charge of our own lives.
Knowing what we value most is so important
to carving a life that feels true to us.
One that we can be proud of.
I think it helps give you clarity in decision-making
because you can instantly weigh it
above your values and then decide if the decision
is right for you or not based off of those.
You've decided your criteria.
You've got your line in the sand.
You're not gonna go beyond this line.
Today I'm gonna go through some exercises
to work out my core values.
And I really hope that you can do the same for you,
so that you can also live a life of more intentionality.
Also guys honestly, there are about a million
types of values, there's everything from love,
compassion, success, ambition,
community, and we all have all of these values.
It's not that if one of my core values
isn't kindness, that I don't value kindness, I do.
It's just we have a hierarchy in our brains
and the way that we live our lives,
which just says that we care about certain values more.
To prove this to you, let's go through some examples.
For example, if you say that your core value in life
is health, but every day of the last year,
when you have some free time in the evening,
rather than exercising or making yourself a healthy dinner,
you watch TV and get some bad, greasy food.
Then even though you say your core value is health,
you're not living by that core value.
So clearly it's not core to you.
You're actually living by a different core value,
like comfort or ease or relaxation.
You're valuing that comfort more than your value of health.
So already you've got that hierarchy.
If you say that you've got a core value of altruism,
which means giving back, being kind to others,
but you've been so focused on your career and hustle
and growth for the last five years that you can't remember
The last time you did something nice for another person,
then maybe you are prioritizing the value of success
over that value of altruism.
And so right now if you were to look at yourself,
it looks like your core value is success or ambition.
And if you say that you value security,
you are probably less likely to go solo traveling
than for someone whose core value is adventure.
This doesn't mean that an adventurous person
doesn't value security, it just means their core value,
the one that they deem more important
for their life is adventure.
And that success-based person
doesn't mean that they're not altruistic.
It's just, we all prioritize different values
and how we live our lives.
It's normal, it's okay, we will do it.
But how cool if you knew your values
and you were able to live by them?
That's my goal, today I wanna work out my core values.
I have a good idea because I've done
an exercise like this before,
but yeah, hopefully I can live by them.
I can check in again,
see if they still feel like my core values,
let's head to the desk.
Okay, so the first time
I ever did anything like this was in Berlin.
I went for a university extracurricular type activity
and it was all about discovering your values.
It was a workshop and I was overwhelmed.
I was given a list of I think 100 values
that any one person could prioritize.
And I was told that somehow throughout this workshop,
I was going to whittle it down to five.
The reason this is so hard is because values
like kindness, you just feel a bit bad
if you don't pick that as a core value.
So I've been going through this list and be like, oh,
but of course I value, compassion.
And of course I value being a good person.
So if you're coming into this activity,
firstly, just remember, you can have these values
without them being your top five core values.
And what they did is they gave me
this sheet of 100 values.
And the first exercise was to go through
and just cross off any which didn't resonate
with me as my key values.
And then from that, I'd be left with 25
and then I do it again and I'd be left with 15,
and you just kept on doing it
until you whittled it down to about 10.
Today what I'm gonna do is,
I'm gonna look at that list, I'm gonna go through
and see which ones resonate with me
and write them in my gorgeous little notebook,
which is my friend Jack's company, Ink Outside The Box,
actually, if you wanna get one of these,
I'll leave the link in the description, okay?
Wow, so hard.
Abundance, obviously I want my life to be abundant.
Acceptance, I feel like body acceptance,
accepting of stuff in life.
Like that's important to me, but is it the most important?
Probably not, achievement, obviously important.
And I strive for my goals,
but I don't think achievement is something I prioritize
over health or my friend really needing me,
that kind of thing.
Advancement, adventure.
I'm gonna put that one 'cause I think I do
like a bit of adventure,
but then would I prioritize adventure over,
I don't know my mental and physical health
or feeling comfortable in where I am?
I don't know, but I'll put it there for now.
Resonates with me.
Advocacy, ambition, appreciation,
appreciation, and gratitude.
That one, that gets me, balance.
I like the word balance 'cause I think that's something
that I try and cultivate like how do I strive
but how do I be chill?
How do I work hard and look after myself?
How do I give time and energy to others and myself?
Oh my God, brilliance, calmness, caring,
challenge, charity, cheerfulness, cleverness,
community, commitment, compassion,
cooperation, collaboration, consistency,
contribution, creativity, credibility, curiosity.
So many, mindfulness, curiosity or learning.
Yeah, curious, same stem as learning.
Growth, happiness, obviously we want happiness in our lives.
Creativity, diversity, encouragement.
Open-mindedness, that is a big one.
I think it's so important not to judge people
and be open to hearing other people's experiences.
Love, come on.
Peace, love peace in life.
But then do I always prioritize peace?
I don't know, I want to say I do,
but I don't think I do because if I was only peaceful,
then I wouldn't challenge myself
as much as I know that I do.
Spirituality, connection.
Okay, cool, so you can pause the video
and you can find a link, I'll put one in the description
to one of these lists of values
if you wanna do this yourself.
So either go through, cross out
anything that doesn't resonate and whittle it down
to about 10, or just choose 10,
which for whatever reason they pull you in.
Now, you've got a list of about 10.
We'll forget about those for now.
Now we ask ourselves, what is the most important thing
in my life journey so far?
Are there any stand out moments to you
or stand out relationships in your life
which are really important to you?
Have you always valued your sporting success,
academic success, for me YouTube,
and be able to connect with people online that way,
that is something
that has really impacted my life positively.
So some of the things which have really impacted my life
are this YouTube channel and connection,
that can be connection that I get
through being able to interact
with so many incredible people,
having a like-minded community,
honestly feeling validated and things that I enjoy
in my life journey, inspiration,
motivation, cultivating a love of learning.
All of that comes from YouTube.
Travel has been so impactful in my life,
especially with times where I solo traveled,
school, academics, learning, education.
That is something I hold very true to me,
yoga and meditation, ever since I got into yoga,
that has just been very life-changing for me.
And I think really shapes how I live my days.
Being vegan, my parents, and their attitude toward life,
love from and others that I've met
and learning about others.
Those are some things that just off the top of my head,
I've written down have helped shape me.
Oh, by the way, this whole process
is a collation of things from the workshop that I did,
different videos I've seen online.
I'll leave a bunch in the description down below.
Any questions or frameworks which resonated with me.
One of the questions which I've sourced is,
if you care about money,
what is it a means to the end of?
And ask yourself this question about all of the things
that you think you've value.
So if I value YouTube,
what is it about YouTube that I value?
Is it feeling like of helping others?
Is that the part that is the end I'm trying to get to?
Is it because I wanna make money and be self-sufficient,
like, is that the value that I'm pulling from doing YouTube?
If I say I really like school,
what is it about school that I like,
like, how can I put that in a value?
Is it this love of learning, growing,
trying to achieve better?
So all of these things I've written down
are the means to the end of what?
Do I really value my job because I want security.
Is that the feeling I'm craving.
Okay, and then coming from here,
I should be able to look at my initial list
of 10 different values.
And suddenly I should have a new feeling towards them
based off of thinking about my life, how I live my life,
what I've already deemed important to me.
And then you can just cross off ones which are important,
but not that important to you.
Like I think adventure's great,
but it's not one of my core, core values, so hard.
Yes, I value peace, but I value growth more than peace,
even though you can have growth through peace,
but no, I prioritize growth.
Curiosity is too specific.
Okay, this could change because I felt like I need more time
to like delve into this.
But I think my core values are,
mental and physical health.
I think I value this so much in always having
some kind of routine, in where I spend my money
and trying to eat more healthily,
in investing time in yoga and work out almost every day.
It makes me feel good, it makes me feel myself.
And I don't think that I would overly sacrifice
my mental and physical health for anything.
Like I would rather quit a really,
really hard corporate job if I don't feel
like it's mentally and physically for me.
So mental and physical health, I think is my top one.
And within that comes, you know,
energy and self-love and yeah,
that has a big part of who I am.
Growth, this is huge for me,
for me, this encapsulates learning,
it's challenging yourself, learning about yourself,
coming back and being introspective,
spending time with yourself and others.
To me, it's a better word than say adventure
because what I'm craving isn't the adrenaline rush.
It's using experiences to grow and learn about myself.
That is optimism and gratitude.
I think I really live my life
with positive intent or at least I try to,
and that's a value I hold, happiness and joy
and try and spread that to others.
Four, connection and love.
I think connection and love,
feeling connected to my friends, to my family,
to you know, close loved ones,
but also to people that I don't even really know
that deeply in person, like you guys,
I feel connected to you.
And this is something I value as a connection.
And I'm also looking to extend love.
Connection just is the word that feels right, I guess.
And then finally, I think excellence
or like something around that word.
I strive to do stuff which feels like I can be proud of it
and generally try and pursue excellence, whether that is,
you know, in school or in my work life or professional life,
something that I would put my name behind and be like,
I'm so glad I did this.
Okay, so those I think are my core values.
The last one could maybe change or be put
into a more specific word, but the others feel pretty good.
I perhaps hesitate about connection because don't know,
maybe love captures it better.
Living a life with love,
radiating that to as many people as I can.
And then something I found on the internet
in a blog article, I'll leave it down below,
is this idea of a litmus test.
So now that I've decided my values here,
I ask myself questions like,
would I sacrifice any of these values
to have a million pounds put my bank account right now?
And that's a tough question.
Would I sacrifice my mental and physical health,
which is something I guess a lot of people do, right?
For a large amount of money is you sacrifice,
sleep or social events,
which I don't know, affects your mental health,
but would I do that for money?
I really don't think I would.
Maybe like a border on it, there've been times
where I overwork myself and the hustle culture
gets in the way, but generally, no, I would say no.
Growth, no optimism and gratitude.
C'mon, if you feel grateful, you feel rich.
And then another question,
have I sacrificed any of these values
in a time where I've been really stressed?
And I can honestly say that even in times
where I have so much to do, I feel so stressed,
I will still try and meditate and work out and look after
my body and be focusing on what I can learn
and grow from this experience.
I try and see it optimistically.
I try and stay connected to people who matter
and I still try and pursue excellence.
So I guess that passes the test and you can really do
get into more questions like this thinking,
how I sacrifice these things?
Would I sacrifice them for other less desirable things
like success, money?
And also, would you still have these core values
in 20 years, 50 years, do they feel true enough to you
that you can see yourself keeping them?
This is so satisfying because it feels like,
now when I have to make choices,
I can come back to this and be like, Jade,
is this really going to go against your value
of looking after your mental health?
'Cause if it is, then don't do it, it's not worth it.
Is this gonna go against your value
of being truly connected with people,
of seeing life positively?
Like does this company's culture and values
go against these values that I say I care about?
What are your core values?
Thank you guys so much for watching.
I really hope that you try the exercises
and that you're able to identify some values
which are core to you.
If you enjoyed this video or tried the exercise,
please give it a thumbs up.
And I look forward to seeing you
in next week's episode of Summer of Self, bye.
(upbeat music)