Well, if you couldn't get enough with 'No Luca No'
Don't worry, they made another piece of shit,
It's called 'Cassie's Animal Sounds'.
That's right, this is a real fucking thing.
So, I guess, uh, there's some animals here.
We have a salamander, a donkey, a dragon;
classic animal.
Everyone knows the fucking majestic dragon
flying around doing dragon shit.
It's just like,
What does a dragon sound like?
I don't know, now I'm gonna know
'cause Cassie's gonna make a sound like a dragon,
And I'll be like 'Oh, that's the fucking dragon.'
So, the basic concept for this piece of shit
is that you pick a film reel
and then the lovely Cassie,
located on the left-hand side of the screen,
Will then mimic perfectly
The sound that that animal makes in the wild.
Like, everybody knows what a spider sounds like, right?
It's fucking common sense.
Fucking beautiful.
What the fuck is she doing?
What am I fucking- is it a fucking spider?
It's not a fucking spider, it's not a- I lost.
I didn't know what she was (stammering)
Fucking 'mime' wasn't on there.
I couldn't pick 'mime' as an answer.
I fucking lost!
Okay, I'm back at the main menu.
Wow. Cassie's not fucking around.
If you fuck up 3 times,
your ass is back to the main menu.
Uh...
Fucking 'no'? How is that not a fucking dog?
What the fuck is she doing?
The lighting completely changed.
Why'd the lighting change?
How long was she out in this field doing this?
Like, look how dark it is, you can see the shadows.
Are you serious, we're doing- we're back to this?
It's back to the same fucking thing.
Alright, so it's an elephant-
Ah, I fucking ran out of time!
You motherfucker!
Perfect.
Oh, we've got a shark, that's awesome.
What does a shark sound like?
'swim, swim, swim'?
It's like, did she move backgr-
She just made a fucking fart noise.
All she's doing is making fucking fart noises.
Why is the lighting so goddamn different
in every- motherfucker.
In every fucking shot?
Like, how long was she out there in a fucking field?
Like, make some animal noises and move on.
It's like she's been out there for fucking 14 weeks.
I can see the small settlement behind her
that's been established since she got out there.
Somebody.
Is.
An ass.
FUCK!
Alright, so we're just gonna fucking roll right into it.
because this is already awful enough,
so let's just play hard.
There's a fucking yeti.
THERE'S A FUCKING YETI?!
What does a yeti sound like?!
Oh, they're not fucking real!
Oh, awesome. I guess they've fucking disappeared,
And now I don't even know where they are.
Just pick yeti.
Tell me it's yeti,
That would've been awesome if it was yeti.
Holy shit.
You bitch.
I've got to fucking memorize this crap,
before the goddamn thing even starts.
So what this fucker did,
this fucker made a stupid memory match game.
Alright, the spider's in the left corner.
Make her do spider.
I don't- Holy shit.
That's the yeti?!
THAT'S THE FUCKING YETI?!
How-?
WHAT?!
That's a fucking frog,
I dunno where the fucking frog is.
Is here there?
Nope, he's not there.
I got the fucking yeti,
But I couldn't get the frog.
Fuck,
I fucking spelled it wrong.
Forgive me for my ignorance,
I'm not too familiar with Silver Dollar Games,
but based on the bottom here,
I see 'Cassie's Corner Episode 2'
So this isn't the first piece of shit that she's made?
There's another one?
Am I missing backstory?
Is there continuity?
What happened before?
I don't know.
What's gonna happen to Cassie next?
Find out in the next exciting adventure,
Episode 3,
When she goes to the mall
and fucking steals all the quarters
out of the fucking fountain.
Gimme the dragon.
Gimme the fucking dragon.
Gimme the dragon, you fucking bitch.
You've done nothing for me so far.
You've hung me out to dry.
You have fucked me this whole video;
and not in a good way.
You will fucking repay me
by giving me the fucking dragon.
You fucking bitch, that is not a fucking dragon.
Oh, I lost!
I lost,
and I didn't fucking get to find out what a dragon sounds like.
I guess I'm fucked.
If there's a fucking dragon flying around overhead,
and he's making all kinds of noise,
I'm not going to know what the fuck it sound-
I'm like, 'What is that?'
'What's over my head?'
'Is it a fucking gerbil?'
Because I didn't make it that far in 'Cassie's Animal Sounds'.
Y'know, dragon:
The most common fucking animal know to fucking mankind.