-You guys, I am in my 40s.
I'm married. I have two kids.
Nothing, however, nothing makes me feel older
than when I realize I no longer understand the slang terms
that teenagers use.
It seems like these days, teen slang terms evolve so fast
and they change so often that it's impossible to keep up.
So we decided as a primer, as a service to both you and to me,
we're going to do a new segment for you called
"Seth explains teen slang."
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
All right. Our first new teen slang term is HBO Go ho.
It means one who sleeps with someone
just for their HBO account.
[ Laughter ]
Here it is in a sentence.
"Really want to end it with Jenna,
but there's still three weeks
till that 'Game of Thrones' finale.
I'm a total HBO Go ho."
[ Laughter ]
Up next, it's Mueller report.
Because teens love to, you know, come up --
they like to get their slang from the news.
Mueller report -- here's the definition.
When you get so drunk, your memories are redacted.
[ Laughter ]
For example, "Ian said I hooked up with Kristen's mom
last night, but after all those tequila shots,
I went full Mueller report and blacked out the good stuff."
[ Laughter and applause ]
Next up -- next up, we have Easter.
This is when a kid you thought was dead
just shows up at school one day.
[ Laughter ]
Here it is in a sentence.
"We thought Brendan was a goner after he back-flipped
into that open manhole
but then he pulled a full Easter and showed up in school
three days later asking, 'Is there a math quiz?'"
[ Laughter ]
#HeIsRisen.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Moving on. You've heard of cokeheads.
A very popular slang term in the '80s.
But this -- this new slang term is wokehead.
What does it mean? Well, this is one
who is addicted to being culturally aware.
For example, "Jeff, Nicholas, and Connor are such wokeheads,
they keep getting up to go to the bathroom together
every 15 minutes to talk about social injustice
and always come back woked out of their minds."
[ Laughter and applause ]
This one's -- This one's really blowing up with the teens.
It's botch slap.
This is -- This is when you really mess up a bitch slap.
[ Laughter ]
As in, "I tried to smack Tyler but ended up just, sort of,
running my fingers through his hair."
[ Laughter ]
#Botchslap.
You son of a bitch.
[ Laughter ]
Next we have lannisters.
That is -- This is that brother and sister
who are just a little too close. [ Laughter ]
For example, "Jason said he can't come to Clarissa's party
because he and his sister are watching 'The Notebook.'
What up with those lannisters?"
[ Laughter ]
Next up, you've probably heard of the slang term wake and bake.
This is bake and wake.
Here's the definition -- when you get stoned
before you go to a wake.
[ Laughter ]
Here it is in a sentence.
"Tim, I know this is crazy, but I swear I just saw Nana blink.
Oh, man, I should never have bake and waked."
[ Laughter and applause ]
Our next slang term is almond milk.
It's a new boyfriend
who's better for you but much more boring.
[ Laughter ]
Here it is in sentence.
"Scott is definitely nicer than my ex,
but after he spent two hours at dinner last night
talking about his pool filtration system,
I'm thinking that boy is nothing but almond milk."
[ Laughter ]
And finally, our last teen slang term is bloke up.
Here's the definition -- to get high with the British kid.
[ Laughter ]
Let's see it in a sentence.
"The new exchange student Archibald Perryweather III --"
[ Laughter ]
We wanted to make sure you knew he was British.
[ Laughter ]
"The new exchange student Archibald Perryweather III
told me he was holding,
so we nipped around to the loo and bloked up before maths."
This has been "Seth explains teen slang."