What's up you guys, it's Travis!
Today we're going to be reacting to some of my old modeling photos.
You guys are probably used to seeing photos of me like...
this one.
And this one.
And this one too.
The reason you might see these photos is because I post them.
One would deduce that I filter out the bad photos.
Those bad photos all went in a file.
This file!
In this file are photos that I was so
embarrassed of, I swore I would never let them see the light of day again.
So obviously I'm going to show them to you today.
If you guys have any embarrassing photos from your past give this video a LIKE. If you don't... who the hell are you?
This gem is from my second photo shoot ever.
The outfit I'm wearing reminds me of something that Brad Pitt's character wore in "Interview with a Vampire."
The difference between us though that he was a vampire from the 1700's and I was just
a 19 year old gay boy try to make it in the world.
I have to be completely honest about something here.
You see the guy in the kilt that's clinging on to my vampire ass legs.
That's not his actual face.
I know. I fooled you and that's okay.
There's nothing wrong with that.
I remember doing this photo shoot because my manager
said that he wanted me to be a bit more edgy.
What better way to make yourself look edgy than
to flat iron, the f**k out of your hair?
Fashion.
Beauty.
Art.
Love.
Titties.
Can we get just one more close up of the
doilies hanging from my sleeves?
Ugh. Beautiful.
Here we have Trav of the Jungle.
Yes I'm butt ass naked on the edge of a cliff,
and yes that is a 6 ft boa constrictor draped over my shoulders.
Me being naked in this photo was the doing of some perv that just wanted an excuse to see my choncha.
Does choncha mean penis?
Comment in the comment section below and let me know if choncha means penis.
Me being naked was not my fault, but having a snake around my shoulders was.
I borrowed this snake from a pet store just for this photo shoot.
After the photo shoot was over with, I was responsible for taking the snake back to the pet store.
I put the snake in this cardboard box and put it in the back seat.
Suddenly I'm driving 85 mph down the freeway--
--65 if you're a cop watching this.
I feel this little tingle on my neck.
Sure enough that was Milan.
This snake crawls over my shoulder, wraps around my neck and the headrest.
"Oh my god, this is it. I'm definitely going to die today"
This snake is going to strangle me on the freeway.
I'm gonna roll over...
...fly out the windshield.
People are gonna just find me inside the snake's body because he's definitely going to eat me, too.
After the snake has completely wrapped itself around me, it stops
right in front of my face. It turns and looks straight at me.
I can see it's tongue like, sticking out.
Oh my god this snake is going to bite my face.
It's going to bite my f**king face.
After a few intense moments, the snake
just turns its head, releases me, and slithers over to the seat next to me
where he coils up for the rest of the drive.
I guess he just wanted to ride shot gun.
Over here I was in the first trimester of my pregnancy.
Apparently I just really liked Jessica Simpson's
cover of Elle magazine when she was pregnant, because we're doing basically the exact same pose.
Although, I have to say the whole point of doing that pose is to cover up your boobs
and I did a terrible job of that because I can clearly see both my nipple slipping out.
God, fetus Travis. You little strumpet.
This photo wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for that damn headband.
Who on Earth thought it would be a good idea to put a headband on me in a biker suit.
For just 25 cents a day you can supply a month's worth of food
to this struggling model.
Month after month, fashion models survive solely off of tic-tacs and sunlight.
Honestly, though! What the hell were we thinking.
Terrible. It's embarrassing.
This photo actually does make perfect sense.
I was clearly tired from chopping wood all day.
"Man! I'm tired, but where can I lay down?"
"There's a stack of logs over there that look pretty comfy"
I guess I'll go take a rest over there.
Much better.
This reminds me of the creepy uncle that would always come over to your house parties
and give you those hugs for that extra second too long.
"Jenny! why don't you come sit on your Uncle Barney's lap?"
and then Uncle Barney would have a few too many beers,
and pick you up and take you to his house and look you in his closet and leave you there for three months straight.
I mean. We've all been there right?!?
Just me? ok cool.
That's all the time we have today.
I have plenty more of where those photos came from.
So if you want to see any more embarrassing photos
Let me know in the comment section below
and I might just do a follow up video.
Thank you guys so much for watching and we'll see you soon.
Here
(loud belch)
(Laughter) Oh my god