- I'm Ellen Page.
- I'm Robert Raver-Lampman.
- Uh.
- I'm Cameron Britton.
- I'm Emmy Raver-Lampman.
- And I'm Robert something.
We're all in the Umbrella Academy.
- And we're about to do something super fun.
- We are going to read you the notes on our phone.
- Oh, no, they're all dark, I can't read 'em.
- They're all just so random.
- I have an idea for a sketch.
It just says: aware wolves.
- Werewolves.
- Yeah, they just become more cognizant
of their general
- More politically correct.
- No! The full moon! Ah, I understand too much.
And that's the movie business.
- Aware wolves.
This one's called tender stem broccoli.
Reminds me of a maimed hand
when it's been cut just right.
Like when it's been cut where the bushy
heads come off.
- Cut, cut.
- Even that brings with it a bit of trepidation
as it's skewered by a fork and
dragged out of a hot stew.
I eat it quick, before Kelsey Grammer's
suave voice drifts into my head.
So, I don't know where that one was going.
It's, it carries on.
- Oh, God, I mean they're all,
it's like looking at the inside of my brain
on paper.
Oh, I've got all my passwords in here.
Can't be telling you that, now.
- Go on, give us the passwords.
- Get onto all my Netflix account,
mess up that algorithm.
- The oldest note that I have on my phone
it's from 2013 and it's directors
I'd like to work with.
- Aww.
- It's just reaching for the stars here, baby.
Tarantino. Never heard of him.
David Cronenberg, Alexander Payne,
Ang Lee, Wes Anderson, Jean Pierre Jeunet,
Elia Kazan, deceased.
- He's put a deceased one!
- [Emmy] That's a list.
- That's only a portion.
- The oldest note I have in here is from
when I was in Los Angeles performing
at the Pantages doing Hamilton.
It's the Pantages WIFI.
- What is it, tell us?
- So I'll go ahead and keep that to myself.
- Tell us what it is.
- You know service is terrible at the Pantages
so you gotta get my WIFI.
- Mine's from 2015.
Just says SAG gives cheaper movie tickets.
- I, in the last sort of year and a half
have written a book of short stories
I wrote the whole book on my phone.
I'd felt cramped all day because I was
never very good in the kitchen and probably
poisoned myself and my stomach churned
and tumbled as the ELF opened the front door
made out of PVC that white plastic-y
looking stuff that was all the rage
once the energy grants came in.
- So he was ready to go. He's
- That's the
- That's the middle of it.
- My newest note is I'm assuming
my attempt at a shopping list.
It says Magic Eraser, very important.
Nail polish remover, and celery.
- And celery.
- But, no,
- What were you going to cosmetically
do with all these food items?
- You see though, one of those jade rollers
but just use the celery stick.
- Mine is, it's a kid's book I've been writing.
- Both of you!
- It's just poems and stuff too.
It's like a short little, you know kind of
Shel Silverstein kind of thing.
If you spin around real fast,
I swear that you can see your back.
I swear you can. Please don't laugh.
It does its best to turn when you do so don't let on.
Just play it cool and whistle quiet.
Try not to move.
And when your back is nice and relaxed,
scream, "Here I come, back!"
Just like that.
Spin like a wheel on your right heel,
til your back is dizzy.
Then you'll steal a look upon the other side
of you to see the part of you that other people do.
And if you practice, I'll tell you what-
spin just right and you'll see your butt.
- Ohh! I love that!
- That is amazing!
- That's kind of cute.
That's kind of fun.
- It's so good.
- Don't steal that.
It's patented.
- This is our official outro.
- Hope you enjoyed it.
- Thank you for watching.
Check out The Umbrella Academy on Netflix.
- I mean, just give it a little look see loo.
What he said.