Hello this is Andrea Cairella Licensed Professional Counselor and Relationship Consultant on True
Potential TV the place where you can nurture your relationship, transform your life, and
enhance your wellbeing. Today we will be talking about pre-marital counseling and pre marriage
questions. Getting married can be an exciting yet anxiety
provoking step in one's life as they go from being an "I" to a "we." Today I will be sharing
pre-marital counseling and 8 pre marriage questions all couples should discuss with
their partner before getting married. ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES: Imagine how you
plan on dividing chores and responsibilities. Will you both work? Who will stay at home
if you have children? What does marriage mean to you? Will the rules change and if so how?
CHILDREN: Talk about your opinions on children and share important childhood experiences
with your partner. Do you want to have any, and if so, how many? When will you start trying?
If we were infertile and are unable to have children, how would we handle that? How would
you discipline? Agree on basic parenting styles. If you are blending families, determine how
you will handle parental responsibilities. Will the stepparent have the same authority?
How do you feel about each other's role in the discipline and decision-making regarding
each child? SEX: Determine sexual goals. How often would
you like to have sex? It might seem strange to talk about it now, but it's important to
be ready for the sexual problems that can occur in long-term relationships. Discuss
how to deal with potential sex issues and how to keep things passionate and interesting.
SPIRITUALITY: Ask each other if you are spiritual or religious and share which practices are
important to you. For example, do you regularly attend church or temple weekly or just on
religious holidays? Are you atheist or agnostic? Are you more spiritual in nature and what
does that look like? If you have children, what spiritual practices would you like to
share with them? FINANCES: Be forthcoming about who will be
responsible for paying the bills or how you will share expenses. Address how to organize
the budget and how financial decisions will be made. If your expectation is to work on
these matters together, make sure your partner understands that and that you are both upfront
about your finances. Do either of you have debt, student loans or a bad credit history?
How will these financial issues be addressed? CAREER: What do your career goals and aspirations
entail? Address your own life goals and individual plans. Do you desire starting your own business
or going back to school? Make sure this is a plan that your partner will support and
that both of you are free to pursue individual interests and dreams.
LOCATION: Address where you would like to live. Is living close to family and friends
important to you, what about where you would like to raise your children?
If you are in a cross-cultural relationship, are from two different regions or are assigned
overseas for work often, having these conversations is important to have, so you know how flexible
both you and your partner are, what additional supports need to be in place to help with
adjustment or if it is aligned with one's personal and professional goals and lifestyle.
LEISURE ACTIVITIES: How do you like to spend your free time? Determine your interests and
values that are important to you and share them with your partner. Which activities and
interests do you plan to share with one another and how much quality time do you plan on investing
in the relationship? Now I'd love to hear from you. What pre marriage
questions are most important to you? Do you see the benefit of premarital counseling before
getting married? Share your stories, tips and suggestions. Interesting insights and
conversations always happens after the episode at TruePotentialCounseling.com so join in
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time on True Potential TV.