LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FIRST GUEST IS A WRITER AND
ACTOR WHO HAS STARRED IN "THE MINDY PROJECT," "A WRINKLE IN
TIME," AND "OCEANS 8."
HER NEW FILM IS "LATE NIGHT."
>> SO YOU WENT TO OUR PARENTS PARENT COMPANY IN ORDER TO MAKE
THIS INTERVIEW?
>> YEP.
AND YOU HAVE NO EXPERIENCE IN COMEDY?
>> NO, I'M OBSESSED WITH COMEDY.
NO, I'VE SEEN EVERY EPISODE OF THE SHOW, WRITTEN A BOOK ABOUT
IT.
DO LATE STANDUP.
>> WHERE?
IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, ASK THE CHEMIST, SHE'LL ALWAYS HAVE
THE SOLUTION.
>> WHICH KILLS PEOPLE WHO KNOW ABOUT CHEMISTRY.
>> STEPHEN: PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW, MINDY KALING!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> THANK YOU!
VERY NICE JOB!
I LIKE THAT!
GREAT TO SEE YOU!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> GREAT CROWD TODAY.
>> Stephen: FANTASTIC.
I DID NOT GET THAT KIND OF ENTRANCE.
YOU GET THAT KIND OF ENTRANCE.
>> NOT JUST THEY APPLAUDED.
I CAN SENSE THEY ARE COOL AND SMART PEOPLE.
>> Stephen: VERY MUCH.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
>> Stephen: THEY'RE ALSO PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE.
>> GOOD LOOKING.
>> Stephen: YES.
I STAND THE AUDIENCE, I WAS, LIKE, THIS IS A BUNCH OF SMOKE
SHOWS.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
I HAVE BEEN LOOKING TO SEE A FAIR AMOUNT OF YOU RECENTLY
BECAUSE I INTERVIEWED THE MONTCLAIR FILM FESTIVAL FOR LATE
NIGHT.
>> I WENT TO YOUR HOME FOR A SHORT TIME.
>> Stephen: I GOT YOU DRUNK.
YES.
>> Stephen: BRIEFLY, AFTERNOON DAY DRINKING WITH MINDY KALING.
>> IT WAS GREAT.
>> Stephen: NOW, YOU WENT TO DARTMOUTH AND YOU HAVE A FANCY
PLAY WRITING DEGREE, RIGHT?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: IS THE DEGREE IN PLAY WRITING?
>> YES ( APPLAUSE )
THANK YOU.
I'M EDUCATED, NOT JUST BEAUTIFUL.
YES, I WENT TO COLLEGE.
>> Stephen: FANCY PLAY WRYING DEGREE.
WERE YOU WRITING AS A CHILD?
>> ALWAYS.
>> Stephen: AND DID YOU WRITE COMEDY AS A CHILD?
>> WELL, MY MOM WAS A DOCTOR, AND I WAS A REAL LATCHKEY KID.
WE WEREN'T ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY BABY SITTERS BECAUSE THEY WERE
TOO SUSPICIOUS OF AMERICAN PEOPLE, SO I WOULD GO TO MY
MOM'S OFFICE AND SHE WAS AN OB/GYN, AND THERE WAS ONE OFFICE
WHERE SHE WOULD TALK TO PATIENTS, ONE TO DO THE EXAM AND
ONE TO DRAW BLOOD.
SO AFTER SCHOOL I WOULD GO TO THE PHLEBOTOMY OFFICE.
IF THEY HAD TO DRAW BLOOD, THEY WOULD SAY ARE YOU COOL WITH A
6-YEAR-OLD BEING THERE, SHE'S THE DOCTOR'S DAUGHTER?
IF THEY SAID YES I WOULD STAY IF NOT, I WOULD STAND IN THE
HALLWAY.
MY MOM WOULD SAY, YOU CAN READ OR WRITE, THAT'S IT.
I WOULD SIT WITH THE TYPE WRITER AND WRITE LITTLE PLAYS.
>> Stephen: AND BE ADORABLE DOING IT BECAUSE THIS IS --
>> OH, NO.
>> Stephen: THIS IS THE LOOK BACK THEN.
>> NO, HORRIBLE!
>> Stephen: IT'S FANTASTIC!
THOSE GLASSES ARE COMING BACK.
>> THOSE ARE HIP GLASSES.
>> Stephen: THEY ARE HIP GLASSES.
I JUST WANT TO BITE THOSE CHEE CHEEKS.
>> OH...
>> Stephen: HOW OLD ARE YOU THERE?
>> I THINK I'M FIVE THERE.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER NOW?
>> YES, ONE AND A HALF.
>> Stephen: DO YOU GUYS RESEMBLE.
>> I THINK SHE LOOKS A LOT LIKE THAT.
>> Stephen: THAT IS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL.
HOW OLD ARE YOU AND DO YOU REMEMBER THE FIRST JOKE YOU EVER
WROTE?
>> WELL, WHEN I WAS AROUND SIX OR SEVEN AND, AGAIN, I WOULD BE
AFTER SCHOOL, I WOULD WRITE THESE LITTLE ONE-PAGE PLAYS AND
BETWEEN MY MOM'S PATIENTS, I WOULD RUN OVER TO HER OFFICE AND
BE, LIKE, READ THIS.
AND SHE WAS ALWAYS VERY, VERY HARD ON THINGS, SHE WOULD NOT
LAUGH IF SHE DIDN'T THINK IT WAS FUNNY, EVEN TO A SIX OR
SEVEN-YEAR-OLD.
SO I WROTE A PLAY ABOUT A HAUNTED HOUSE WHERE A MUMMY, A
WITCH AND A DRACULA -- A VAMPI VAMPIRE -- LIVED AND LIVED
TOGETHER IN A HAUNTED HOUSE, AND THE WITCH THOUGHT THAT THE HOUSE
WAS KIND OF RUN DOWN.
SHE SAID TO THE MUMMY AND THE DRACULA, HOW MUCH ARE WE PAYING
IN MORTGAGE ON THIS HAUNTED HOUSE?
BECAUSE I JUST LEARNED ABOUT MORTGAGES FROM MY DAD.
>> Stephen: SURE.
O I SHOWED IT TO MY MOM AND SHE DIDN'T LAUGH OUT LOUD
BECAUSE LITERALLY WHO COULD LAUGH OUT LOUD AT THAT STUPID
PLAY, BUT SHE SMILED AND SHE'S, LIKE, I LIKE THIS.
SO THAT WAS THE FIRST JOKE I CAN REMEMBER WRITING.
>> WERE THEY OKAY WITH YOU BECOMING A WRITER?
>> YEAH, I LOVED IT.
THEY LOVED IT BECAUSE THEY LOVED, GROWING UP WE LISTENED
DOZEN A LOT OF WRITERS, I WATCHED SEINFELD, AND THEY LOVED
COMEDY, EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE ANYONE IN THE BUSINESS ON EITHER
SIDE OF MY FAMILY.
THEY LOVED IT AND THEY WANTED ME TO BE EXTREMELY SUCCESSFUL SO
THEY COULD BRAG TO PEOPLE, SO THERE'S STILL A LOT OF PRESSURE.
>> Stephen: WHEN DID THEY START BRAGGING?
>> WHEN I SLAPPED STEVE CARREL IN THE SECOND EPISODE OF "THE
OFFICE," THEY WERE, LIKE, THAT WAS COOL.
>> Stephen: IT IS COOL.
YOU'RE SLAPPING REALLY FUNNY PEOPLE
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: YOU GOT THE NEW
FILM "LATE NIGHT" WHERE YOU PLAY A YOUNG WRITER, IT'S HER FIRST
COMEDY WRITING JOB.
WHAT'S YOUR CHARACTER'S NAME AGAIN?
>> MOLLY PATEL.
>> Stephen: AND EMMA THOMPSON IS YOUR CO-STAR.
WE JUST HAD HER ON RECENTLY -- JUST LAST NIGHT TO TALK ABOUT
IT.
WHEN WAS YOUR FIRST MEMORY OF MEETING HER?
DID YOU EVER SEE HER WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER LIKE ON STAGE OR IN
THE FILMS?
>> YEAH, WHEN I WAS ELEVEN, MY MOM DRAGGED ME TO SEE "MUCH ADO
ABOUT NOTHING," THE MOVIE.
I WAS SO MAD BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SHAKESPEARE
AND IT WAS REALLY BORING TO ME.
>> Stephen: WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING ABOUT NOTHING.
>> YES.
SO I WENT TO GO SEE IT WITH HER, AND IT ISO FUNNY AND SO WELL
MADE AND HER PER FORCE IS FANTASTIC, AND SHE'S SO
BEAUTIFUL THAT I BECAME REALLY OBSESSED WITH HER.
IN FACT, I DEMANDED THAT WE GO SEE IT AGAIN NEXT WEEKEND.
SO I HAVE BEEN TRACKING HER CAREER.
>> Stephen: SO WHAT WAS IT LIKE TO WORK WITH HER AND WRITE
SOMETHING FOR HER AND WORK WITH HER?
WAS THAT NERVING RACKING OR JUST SORT OF JOYFUL?
>> IT WAS SORT OF SERVE RACKING, BUT THE THING WITH EMMA IS -- I
DON'T KNOW, YOU'VE MET HER -- SHE JUST PLOWS THROUGH
NERVOUSNESS AND WANTS EVERYONE TO BE COMFORTABLE.
WHEN YOU WORK WITH YOUNG ACTRESSES NEW IN THE BUSINESS, A
LOT OF TIMES THEY DON'T WANT TO SAY WHAT THEY REALLY FEEL ABOUT
THINGS BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO OFFEND ANYONE.
>> StepheANYONE.
-- THE MARRIOTT HOTEL.
>> Stephen: MY WATCH GOT A CALL AND I FORGOT TO PUT IT TO
SLEEP, IT WAS FROM MARRIOTT HOTEL.
>> YOUR AWARDS PROGRAM FROM MARRIOTT INTERRUPTED MY TOUCHING
STORY ABOUT EMMA THOMPSON.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
WAIT A SECOND!
HOLD ON A SECOND!
I HAVE SO MANY -- YOU ARE RICH!
WHY DO YOU NEED A REWARDS PROGRAM?
>> Stephen: THIS IS HOW YOU GET RICH.
YOU GO FOR THE REWARDS.
EXACTLY.
I ALSO STEAL ROLLS.
>> I HAVE SO MANY MORE QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR FINANCIAL SITUATION.
( LAUGHTER ) I DON'T USE A REWARDS PROGRAM!
>> Stephen: HERE'S THE THING --
>> NO, NO, HERE'S THE THING, HE HAS THE NUMBER ONE SHOW ON TV,
AND HE'S, LIKE, OH, GOT TO MAKE SURE THAT IF I TRAVEL, THAT ME
AND MY WIFE AND MY THREE CHILDREN ARE BEING HOSTED IN AN
ECONOMICAL WAY!
( LAUGHTER ) YOU GET PUT UP EVERYWHERE!
>> Stephen: SURE, SURE, BUT WE CAN UPGRADE.
( LAUGHTER ) >> I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
I'M IN A MOVIE WITH EMMA THOMPSON, LIKE, WHO CARES.
WHATEVER.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I PUT MY HAND OVER
IT KNOWING IF YOU PUT YOUR HAND OVER IT IT TELLS IT TO GO AWAY.
>> REALLY SUBTLE!
>> Stephen: I TRIED.
I WAS TRYING!
CAN WE PLAY BACK THE MOMENT WHEN I WAS TRYING TO DO THAT?
SO SORRY, PLEASE ACCEPT MY APOLOGY.
I WAS TRYING TO DO THIS SO IT WOULD STOP AND GO, DAMN DID I
JUST ANSWER THE PHONE ON MY WRIST?
AND I THOUGHT, WELL, WE'LL KNOW IN A MOMENT IF THEY START
TALKING.
>> YOU KNOW WHEN THIS ENDS HE WILL BE SCRAMBLING, LIKE, OH, I
HOPE I STILL GOT THE REWARDS!
HOPE I DIDN'T DELETE THAT!
>> Stephen: HOLD THAT THOUGHT.
WE HAVE TO TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK.
MORE WITH THE TALENTED MINDY KALING, EVERYBODY!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )