KOSTA: Fresh water, our world's most coveted resource,
but it's growing scarcer by the day.
So where will tomorrow's battle
for our drinking water take place?
The Great Lakes-- Michigan, Erie, Superior,
Huron and that other one.
They're one-fifth of the entire world's fresh water,
and the biggest body of water that I've ever urinated in.
But some people say there are larger problems
with the Great Lakes than my pee.
I headed straight over to find out.
The Great Lakes are in danger.
Right here, we have 20% of the world's fresh surface water,
and it's being polluted, and it has been polluted.
-Mm-hmm. -It's created this kind of toxic
cocktail that actually knocked out the drinking water
for about 500,000 people.
Speaking of toxic cocktail, you ever had a Bud Lite Lime?
-No. -No?
No, but this is... this is serious.
It's fresh water, it's sustenance,
it's what people need to live, okay?
KOSTA: As Egan explains in his book,
it's not just the Great Lakes drinking water
that's under threat.
It's the entire ecosystem.
The biggest problem facing the Great Lakes is the idea
of invasive species,
foreign organisms making their way into the lakes.
-Like what? -Asian carp.
Asian carp. It's like a Hyundai or a Toyota?
Asian carp. The Asian carp are a serious deal.
They squeeze out other fish species, and they also jump.
Like, off of bridges, the Asian cars come in, or what?
I'm trying to talk about carp here.
Carp. Carp with a "P."
(pops with lips) Got it.
KOSTA: And for Egan,
these foreigners didn't belong in the Great Lakes.
We're not gonna be able to get rid of
any foreign species that gets established in the lake.
Let's be honest. These foreign invaders--
they're doing the jobs that the species
that were already there in the beginning don't want to do.
That's not true.
They're actually taking the food away from the native species.
You want to keep it with who's already here?
Yeah, I think that's important.
You're the Steve Bannon of Great Lakes, basically.
I wouldn't look at myself that way.
Right. Well, I would.
KOSTA: Luckily, Obama's Great Lakes Restoration Initiative
allocated federal funds to protect the drinking water
and native fish species for future generations, but...
One of the first things Trump did was try
to eliminate money for the Great Lakes Restoration Initiative.
He probably doesn't like that these five lakes think
they're greater than him.
Right? And one of 'em even superior.
And it's not just Trump that doesn't give a (bleep)
about these lakes. Egan warns...
it's all of us.
EGAN: Lakes seem to have
a second-class status
when it comes to comparing them to oceans.
Yeah. Right?
If you drown in a lake, you're, like, a drunk idiot.
But if you're lost at sea, it's romantic.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think the oceans tend
to get a little more national love than the Great Lakes.
KOSTA: That's right. Oceans.
Not only do they receive way more funding than lakes.
Researchers believe our brains are wired to love oceans.
Plus, they're just cooler.
Oceans get Pixar movies, theme parks
and even better celebrities.
EGAN: It's the marketing.
The problem is the word "lake."
Dan, we've talked a lot,
and it's been, frankly, nightmarishly boring for me.
What is the solution?
Well, the solution is actually...
Is to turn the lakes into oceans.
You're goddamn right.
No. The issues are pretty complicated.
But if we call it the Great Oceans,
now we're onto something.
Uh, ye...
I don't know.
Nice job. Thanks, Dan.
By the way, your book-- do you want it back?
'Cause I'm not gonna finish it.
KOSTA: My mission's clear:
make people believe these endangered lakes
are actually oceans.
I mean, when I look out across Lake Michigan,
I can't even see the other side.
So who's to say it's not an ocean?
-It's a lake. -KOSTA: (bleep) Dan.
This is an ocean, Dan.
I just can't really abide by that, uh...
instant transformation.
Get your head out of your (bleep) book for one second
and just use your heart and just feel.
I feel ocean.
I feel seasick.
I don't feel "lakesick."
It's a lake. It's not just any lake.
It's a Great Lake. But it's a lake.
KOSTA: I was fighting a losing battle.
The Great Lakes are world-famous
for being lakes.
I needed to start smaller.
A lake nobody cared about,
like Silver Lake in Michigan,
the perfect place to launch my campaign.
So I paid off a local politician
to help me organize an emergency town meeting.
I believe it was JFK who said,
"Turn these lakes into oceans."
And that's what we're doing here today,
because this is a lot easier
than changing Lake Michigan into an ocean.
Silver Lake is now officially Silver Ocean.
-(cheers and applause) -KOSTA: The locals were thrilled
to embrace their new ocean.
It's a lake, asshole.
It's an ocean, (bleep)head.
-It's a lake, asshole. -You're an asshole.
-It's an ocean. -It's a lake.
(Bleep) you. It's an ocean!
KOSTA: Mission accomplished.
Welcome to tiny, landlocked,
waist-deep Silver Ocean.