-Hello, and welcome to the 77th annual Golden Globe Awards,
live from The Beverly Hilton hotel here in Los Angeles.
I'm Ricky Gervais. Thank you.
You'll be pleased to know this is the last time
I'm hosting these awards, so I don't care anymore.
I'm joking. I never did.
Let's go out with a bang.
Let's have a laugh at your expense, shall we?
Remember, they're just jokes.
We're all gonna die soon, and there's no sequel.
I came here in a limo tonight,
and the license plate was made by Felicity Huffman.
So -- no.
Shush.
It's her daughter I feel sorry for, okay?
That must be the most embarrassing thing
that's ever happened to her, and her dad was in "Wild Hogs."
No one cares about movies anymore.
No one goes to the cinema.
No one really watches network TV.
Everyone's watching Netflix.
This show should just be me coming out, going,
"Well-done, Netflix.
You win everything. Good night."
You could binge-watch the entire first season of "After Life"
instead of watching this show.
Spoiler alert -- season 2 is on the way.
So in the end, he obviously didn't kill himself,
just like Jeffrey Epstein.
Shut up.
I know he's your friend, but I don't care.
It was a big year for pedophile movies.
"Surviving R. Kelly,"
"Leaving Neverland," "Two Popes."
Shut up, shut up.
I don't care, I don't care.
"The Irishman" was amazing.
Long, but amazing.
It wasn't the only epic movie.
"Once Upon a Time in Hollywood," nearly three hours long.
Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere,
and by the end, his date was too old for him.
Oh. Many talented people of color
were snubbed in major categories.
Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do about that.
The Hollywood Foreign Press are all very, very racist, so --
We were gonna do an in memoriam this year,
but when I saw the list of people that had died,
it wasn't diverse enough.
It just -- no.
Apple roared into the TV game
with "The Morning Show," a superb drama.
Yeah.
A superb drama about the importance of dignity
and doing the right thing,
made by a company that runs sweatshops in China.
So, well, you say you're woke,
but the companies you work for -- I mean, unbelievable.
Apple, Amazon, Disney --
if ISIS started a streaming service, you'd call your agent.
If you do win an award tonight,
don't use it as a platform to make a political speech, right?
You're in no position to lecture the public about anything.
You know nothing about the real world.
Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg.
So if you win, right, come up, accept your little award,
thank your agent and your god, and --
So, it's already three hours long.