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Hey everyone I'm Adrienne Everheart your feminine energy expert.
Today I'm going to teach you how to really lasso your man's heart
with your emotions.
Now, something I teach it's called feeling statements
and feeling statements to me are the number one way
a man can feel clarity when he's with you
he can feel like he really trusts you,
that he's truly getting to know you and what's inside your heart.
And he won't feel manipulated or forced
or like you're trying to out think him in any way.
So often the man will just realize
how good he feels when he's around you
and he can't really explain it,
but when he is with you he feels this warmth and this trust.
So, today I'm going to teach you how to do exactly that
and the biggest mistake that my clients make
when learning how to use a feeling statement.
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Clients of mine come to me and they are so upset
because they used a feeling statement
and they didn't get showered with love
and I asked them, well what exactly did you say
or how was this feeling statement used?
And I hear something like,
I felt so angry when you did X
or I feel like you're ignoring me.
And they just put I feel in front of a thought.
This is thinking,
this isn't a feeling statement.
If you're putting I feel in front of a thought,
you're basically saying I feel and then here's my thought.
So, sometimes you really need to be able to say
I think to your man.
You can say I think to him about so many things.
But when we're talking about the feelings in your body
we're going to be sharing with him emotions that you're feeling
and your truths.
So, he can really trust you and feel grounded
and not feel manipulated in any way.
A great example of this is
I don't feel like you care about me.
So, I feel you don't care about me
and notice that, that is an action
or a little bit what he's thinking
and instead, I want you to switch this around to your feelings.
And your feelings might be something like
well, what are you really feeling.
This is your chance to drop down into your body
and discover what you are feeling
before you speak and before you use a feeling statement with a man.
You might be feeling unheard or not listened to
and you can say, well I feel misunderstood
or I feel unheard, I feel abandoned.
These are things that you're really feeling instead of
I feel like you are abandoning me,
I feel like you don't like me.
These are thoughts the man might be having,
these are actions he may be thinking.
This is what he's thinking.
Now, the most deadliest of all I feel thought
loopholes is the I feel
to get my way.
And this is when you say to a man how you feel about something
in order to get your way.
Now this one every single time he is going to feel manipulated
and is angry with you if you use it at all.
There's nothing wrong with saying this is what I need.
I'm very sure this is what I need or this is what I want.
A lot of those are just really thoughts or feelings.
Now let's say you need to do something
like put some furniture together
and you really need your man's help.
If you wanted to use the feeling statement loophole
and you want to ask him for his help
you would say I feel then action, which would be wrong.
But I would feel really good if you helped me
with this project.
You see how that's manipulative?
Instead say, you know, I'm feeling what,
I feel like I need help.
I you know, I feel so happy when we can do stuff together
I don't want to put any pressure on you
can you help me with my furniture what do you think?
You give the man the freedom and the option to say yes or no.
Now, if he says no and you feel disappointed because guess what,
you didn’t get your way
and apply this to anything ladies,
you didn't get your way
this is when you can go back
and you can just go back to what you're feeling
and you can say oh,
okay, I accept it.
I feel bummed, but I'll figure it out.
All right, so, your happiness isn't dependent upon him.
That's the purpose of I feel.
I feel is all about owning what you feel in your body.
He might be tired, he might be in a mood.
There might be a million reasons
why he doesn't want to help you do something or date you
or call you or be with you,
but just because you use the words I feel
doesn't mean you're going to put him into action, okay.
So, I hope I've helped you clarify
how to really use a feeling statement
and express yourself from your body.
Now, you can also use I feel as like an analogy
like I'm feeling so excited, I feel like I'm on a roller coaster right now.
That's an analogy about how you feel.
Just remember you want to make feeling statements about you.
So, often I ask my clients
when they're going through a tough time with a man
I say well, how does it feel and they say
well, I feel like he's doing this because of X, Y and Z
and you see how they're into what he's thinking.
That is not a feeling statement,
that is about that man
what do you feel while he's doing X, Y and Z?
Let's say he's ignoring you, he's not calling you, he's not dating you as much.
Well, how does it feel?
Does it feel good or does it feel bad?
If it feels bad, you have to then
go back to how you're feeling
and do what's best for you.
If it feels good, keep nurturing the good.
One of the best things you can do is that whenever a man does anything
that feels wonderful to you,
you share with him how great it feels.
I have a husband who is so good at scrubbing pots and pans
and he really keeps the kitchen looking good for me
especially on my busy days.
So, I always make a point to let him know
how great it feels to see everything so sparkling and clean
or how great it feels
I feel so happy coming home to a clean kitchen
or I feel so excited
seeing everything put away and I didn't have to do anything.
I feel so honored to have a husband
who cares about how our kitchen looks.
This is really important things to praise
and reinforce the good that is happening.
Now, this last one is also
one that I just... every time I hear about this from a woman
I'm like oh my gosh put on the brakes
we got to fix this fast.
And that is, I feel very disappointed.
And I feel very disappointed or letting a man volunteering to a man
that he has disappointed you.
If you make a man feel shamed,
wrong, or that he's disappointing you in any way,
you're really going to lose him.
You're going to lose him because one of the worst things men can do
is feel like they're letting a woman down.
And when they feel like they're letting a woman down,
they're actually not winning as a man.
They're being less than
and they may know that that's not really true about themselves
and so again they feel this manipulation
and this feeling of being slighted.
So, instead of I feel disappointed
unless he ask you are you disappointed with me?
You might well, I'm disappointed at how this turned out.
You know, I'm disappointed with the way it's gone sure.
You know, and it has, that's really how you feel,
anything otherwise would be to lie
and you would not be in your feeling statements.
But instead of I feel disappointed
because you did not do an action
or because you did not do it my way,
the way that I wanted it or the action I wanted you to take.
Like let's say he had plans with you
for Tuesday night and he canceled
at five o'clock, he cancels on you.
I feel so disappointed it's not going to win you anything.
Remember you're going to get more with honey
if you really want to practice these tools
and you want to practice them while you're dating or preparing even
for marriage.
This is the time to have this really difficult conversations.
So, let's say he cancels at five o'clock for the day
what do you really feel?
If that happened to me I would have to say,
wow, I feel sad that we won't be able to get together.
I was... I felt really excited, I was looking forward to the date
and that's it.
There's no guilting, there's no shaming,
there's no getting it my way,
and there's no you should have taken this action.
So, ladies in closing I want you to learn the difference between
I feel plus a thought
versus I feel and it's a feeling in your body.
Practice the difference and practice saying I think
versus I feel.
Practice your sentences starting off with I think
and I feel so you can learn the difference
and most importantly you find out what you're feeling in your body.
When you're really thinking about something
and wanting an action,
wanting it your way, versus I feel
this is really what's going on inside of me.
All right everyone I hope this video has been really helpful.
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I have a lot of programs that you can study
right at the convenience of your own home at your computer
or your phone.
I have of course my best-selling e-book, 500 Ways to Talk to a Man
and I also have a program called New Man Manifesto,
which is my lengthiest program.
I go really in depth into feeling statements and so many more topics.
Enjoy more of my videos
or head on over to my website and see what program really appeals to you.
Thanks so much for tuning in
and I look forward to hearing from you in the comments bye bye.
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