WHILE HARVEY'S A NATURAL DISASTER THAT SEEMS TO BE
BRINGING PEOPLE TOGETHER, IN VERY HEARTWARMING WAYS,
THERE'S A MAN-MADE DISASTER UNFOLDING IN WASHINGTON BECAUSE
THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION HAS ANNOUNCED THEY'RE ENDING THE
DEFERRED ACTION FOR CHILDHOOD ARRIVALS PROGRAM, OR DACA.
>> Audience: BOOO!
>> Stephen: YEAH, YEAH, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE.
THE THING IS, THE VAST MAJORITY OF AMERICANS LIKE THIS PROGRAM,
SO BY CANCELING IT, TRUMP HAS STEPPED IN SOME DEEP DACA.
( LAUGHTER ) SO EVEN THOUGH HIS DECISION IS
UNPOPULAR, TRUMP BRAVELY STEPPED UP, THEN CRINGED BACK, AND HAD
SOMEBODY ELSE ANNOUNCE IT.
THAT SOMEONE WAS ATTORNEY GENERAL AND TURN UP THAT LEARNED
TO HATE, JEFF SESSIONS.
>> I'M HERE TODAY TO ANNOUNCE THAT THE PROGRAM, KNOWN AS DACA,
THAT WAS EFFECTUATED UNDER THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION IS BEING
RESCINDED.
>> Stephen: I CODECLARE, IT IS BEING DE, IF ECCUTUATED.
WE DON'T KNOW WHY OR WHO-ALL IS RESCINDING IT.
PROBABLY THOSE NASTY IMMIGRANT CHILDREN.
BUT AS MY MAMA USED TO SAY, 'LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF
CHOCOLATES.
NOW, GET OUT OF THE COUNTRY.'" IT'S HAPPENING BY SOMEBODY TO
SOMEBODY.
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT SESSIONS DOESN'T WANT YOU DREAMERS TO TAKE THIS
PERSONALLY.
>> THE NATION MUST SET AND ENFORCE A LIMIT ON HOW MANY
IMMIGRANTS WE ADMIT EACH YEAR, AND THAT MEANS ALL CANNOT BE
ACCEPTED.
THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT THEY ARE BAD PEOPLE OR THAT OUR NATION
DISRESPECTS OR DEMEANS THEM IN ANY WAY.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE RIGHT, JEFF-- DEPORTING INNOCENT CHILDREN
DOES NOT MEAN THEY'RE BAD PEOPLE. IT MEANS YOU'RE A BAD
PERSON.
AND HERE'S THE DEAL-- THESE DREAMERS, THEY AREN'T THE ONLY
ONES BEING HURT.
IN FACT, A RECENT STUDY ESTIMATED THAT TERMINATING DACA
WOULD COST THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT $60 BILLION AND WOULD
REDUCE ECONOMIC GROWTH BY $280 BILLION IN THE NEXT TEN
YEARS.
WOW, TRUMP REALLY IS A DEALMAKER.
"I'LL TRADE YOU 800,000 PRODUCTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE AND
WAIT-- $280 BILLION FOR...
NOTHING.
FINAL OFFER.
TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.
THAT'S IT, OKAY."
( APPLAUSE ) I'M WALKIN'--
SO, THE MOVE IS INCREDIBLY UNPOPULAR, BUT TRUMP IS GEARING
UP TO HAND OFF THE PROBLEM TO SOMEONE ELSE.
EARLIER TODAY, HE TWEETED, "CONGRESS, GET READY TO DO YOUR
JOB.
DACA!" HE LOVES THE ABBREVIATIONS.
"DACA!
MAGA!
DACA!" HE'S SPEAKING IN TONGUES AT THIS
POINT IS WHAT IS HAPPENING.
NOW, TRUMP DID RELEASE A STATEMENT.
"AS PRESIDENT, MY HIGHEST DUTY IS TO DEFEND THE AMERICAN PEOPLE
AND THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
AT THE SAME TIME, I DO NOT FAVOR PUNISHING CHILDREN."
"THAT'S WHY ALL MY CHILDREN ARE SPOILED MONSTERS."
( LAUGHTER ) "OKAY, SOCIOPATHS.
EAT YOUR TONGUE."
( APPLAUSE ) BUT AFTER A TEPID PRESS RELEASE
AND HAVING JEFF SESSIONS MAKE THE ANNOUNCEMENT, THE PRESIDENT
REALIZED HE NEEDED TO STEP UP PERSONALLY AND MAKE
SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS TALK ABOUT IT.
>> IF CONGRESS DOESN'T WANT TO DO THE JOB THAT THEY WERE
ELECTED TO DO, THEN MAYBE THEY SHOULD GET OUT OF THE WAY AND
LET SOMEONE ELSE DO IT.
>> Stephen: LIKE MAYBE THE PRESIDENT WITH AN EXECUTIVE
ORDER.
YOU DUM-DUM!
SHE CLARIFIED EXACTLY HOW THE REPEAL OF DACA WILL TAKE PLACE.
>> RATHER THAN LEAVE DACA RECIPIENTS, AND THE MEN AND
WOMEN OF IMMIGRATION ENFORCEMENT, IN CONFUSING LIMBO
WHILE THE DACA PROGRAM WAS CHALLENGED BY STATES, IN THE
SAME COURT THAT STRUCK DOWN ANOTHER OF THE PREVIOUS
ADMINISTRATION'S UNLAWFUL IMMIGRATION ORDERS EARLIER THIS
YEAR, PRESIDENT OBAMA IS LAYING OUT A RESPONSIBLE 24-MONTH
PHASEOUT-- SORRY, PRESIDENT TRUMP.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: IT'S OK.
>> Jon: WHOA!
OH!
>> Stephen: IT'S OK.
WE'RE SORRY HE'S PRESIDENT, TOO.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
NOW, DID.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) OKAY, TRUMP DID EVENTUALLY GET
AROUND TO PUBLICLY ADDRESSING THE FEARS THIS WILL CAUSE FOR
THE DREAMERS.
>> WE HAVE A GREAT HEART FOR THE FOLKS WE'RE TALKING ABOUT, A
GREAT LOVE FOR THEM.
>> Stephen: AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY: IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING,
SET IT FREE.
THEN LOCK THE DOOR WHEN IT'S GONE.
BUT TRUMP ALSO MADE SURE EVERYBODY WAS AWARE JUST WHO WE
WERE TALKING ABOUT.
>> PEOPLE THINK IN TERMS OF CHILDREN, BUT THEY'RE REALLY
YOUNG ADULTS.
>> Stephen: "YEAH, SURE, THEY WERE BROUGHT HERE WHEN THEY WERE
BABIES, BUT THAT WAS 20 YEARS AGO.
IF THEY WANTED TO STAY IN AMERICA, THEY SHOULD HAVE
STAYED KIDS THEIR WHOLE LIVES.
IF BART SIMPSON CAN DO IT, SO CAN YOU, PEDRO!"