- Freestyle Raps on
(music effect)
(audience cheering)
- I makeup raps on the spot
based entirely on your suggestions.
All you guys have to do
think of a word topic phrase you wanna hear a rap about.
I'll make it happen so there are some rules, okay?
Don't suggest food, don't suggest animals
they're the most obvious things our brains think of.
Number three don't be too obvious in general.
Don't be like, I will make it easy.
He's white, he's British, he can't rap.
No, make it challenging.
(audience laughing)
Some of the best suggestions I ever had include
this one ninth century crop rotation.
So good I put on a hat.
I had a German guy in Hamburg say a day
in the life of an Aztec high priest.
So aim for that type of esoteric
(audience laughing)
creativity.
If you have a suggestion,
give a little wave in front of your camera,
will spotlight one of you at random.
I'll take a suggestion from you.
We'll do that four or five times, and then we'll go.
So I'm not in charge
of the spotlight and someone's going to do it.
Who's going to be?
Hey, Paul, what do you wanna to hear a rap about?
- Kumquat on a kebab.
- Kumquat on a kebab,
I mean it violates the food rule twice but fine
(audience laughing)
you're so enthusiastic,
you give yourself carpal tunnel syndrome by doing that.
Kumquat on a kebab. Brilliant.
Everyone else don't fuck up like Paul.
(audience laughing)
Okay, let's go on next
(audience laughing)
Just coming up next.
What do you wanna hear a rap about?
- Etruscan architecture.
- Etruscan architecture, brilliant.
That is, that is someone who heard my challenge
and was like, "Yeah, man, I'm actually going to screw him
on this one." Brilliant.
Etruscan architecture.
Let's get suggestion number three who's got it?
Kaylee and Ryan.
Hey, Kaylee and Ryan,
what do you wanna hear a rap about?
- 19th century feminist politics.
(audience laughs)
- 19th century feminists politics.
Jesus Christ trust a woman to come up with that.
(audience laughs)
Right, right thank you very much Kaylee.
Ryan, I feel sorry for you.
Let's get two more please.
What's this one going to be?
Hey John, and not John.
What do you wanna hear a rap about?
- A fairisle jumper.
- A fairisle jumper, brilliant.
That's a great suggestion.
I love that.
Let's get one final suggestion.
Thank you very much for that.
This is the fifth one.
It's going to be the best.
Yes it's Shaylin and Dash now.
Hey guys, what do you wanna hear a rap about?
- Hey, I'd love to hear a rap
about a Chinese leather technician from Wuhan.
(audience laughing)
- A Chinese leather technician,
Wuhan.
I mean, look, I record these raps.
I put them up online.
This one is definitely not going up
because it's going to be taken down immediately.
Okay, cool.
Thank you for that guys.
This then lovely people.
It's a freestyle rap.
That's the right metaphor on the spot.
Based on their suggestions.
The suggestions to remind you kumquat on a kebab,
Etruscan architecture, 19th century feminist politics,
a fairisle jumper,
and a Chinese leather technician from Wuhan.
I'm going to drop that beat.
Let's get this happening,
made up entirely on the spot and do not worry.
It will not be anywhere near as atrociously.
Embarrassingly toe curlingly bad is we're expecting
a privately educated middle-class white boy today.
♪ Oh it's a Paul in soul bad ♪
♪ You violate the rules kumquat on kebab ♪
♪ That's two Ks at 50% more ♪
♪ The most racist acronym you ever saw ♪
♪ But I'm doing all the barbecue is so ill ♪
♪ I spill a bit of oil on the sides of the grill ♪
♪ Get a tiny fruit ♪
♪ Oh, look at that ♪
♪ It's small ♪
♪ And it's round ♪
♪ It's a tiny kumquat ♪
♪ Is that the shape ♪
♪ I don't even know ♪
♪ In the tropical fruit island don't go ♪
♪ But a kebab I like to get a little bit ♪
♪ I like my brilliant nice pink inside ♪
♪ I'm a fancy man ♪
♪ And so I don't understand words said to me ♪
♪ By women from the 19th century ♪
♪ You just added to attend to the start of the cap ♪
♪ Feminist politics I'll try that ♪
♪ Yes It's a period ♪
♪ That men wanna forget ♪
♪ We'd be fight in for lack of suffragette ♪
♪ Technically that's the early 1900s ♪
♪ 20th century but I plumbed it ♪
♪ All the stuff that I've got in my brain ♪
♪ I thirst for names that aren't just Emmeline Pankhurst ♪
♪ By ain't got none ♪
♪ So I really can't glow ♪
♪ In my confidence there's no vote ♪
♪ But one lady she demonstrates the style in the killing ♪
♪ She's so thrilling ♪
♪ She'd be rocking the fairisle jumper ♪
♪ You discover Sarah Lunchy on the bridge in Norway ♪
♪ You can now understand this near dawn ♪
♪ A little Scottish plays with a lot of wool ♪
♪ If you don't own many then you feel the fall ♪
♪ Because when it gets shivery when it gets cold ♪
♪ It's like a little sheep is hugging you ♪
♪ And holding you with all the patterns ♪
♪ Now I'll be clever ♪
♪ Let me pull it all together ♪
♪ Like I'm stitching through that leather ♪
♪ Got a bobbin ♪
♪ Got a little bit I can darn it ♪
♪ I'm over in the far East ♪
♪ I won't alarm many of y'all ♪
♪ I'd say this so neat ♪
♪ I found a little pangolin corpse in the street ♪
♪ I'll bring it over here ♪
♪ What am I planning ♪
♪ I'm going to hang it up and dry up ♪
♪ I'll be calling it tanning ♪
♪ I'm a man in Wuhan and I am a technical fool ♪
♪ To ignore all of the bat as well ♪
♪ Yes, this is really roll stitch altogether ♪
♪ Wow doesn't look half bad ♪
♪ I made a totally COVID hang back ♪
♪ Tan in that I'll sell it for a ¥1000 bucks ♪
♪ I don't even know my land is not in the Greek area ♪
♪ But I travel far and wide I'm aware of that ♪
♪ I don't need no columns, no Corinthian, no ionic flutes in ♪
♪ I'm a simple man Bruce Ellison from the 60s please ♪
♪ Architecture needs olive trees ♪
♪ I put trust in Etruscan ♪
♪ I get the architect asking for a blueprint ♪
♪ His plans I respect ♪
♪ He rose the alphabet ♪
♪ I say here is Justin ♪
♪ I'm busted so excited for Etruscan ♪
♪ Build it up there ♪
♪ Never be a Roman ♪
♪ Get it Mediterranean ♪
♪ And I'm showing I know the accuracy ♪
♪ Might be slightly out of whack ♪
♪ But there we go ♪
♪ That's the first of the freestyle rap. Boom. ♪
(audience cheering)
Cheers champs.