[Music]
[Applause]
somewhere among the distant knots of the
ocean a mysterious island is veiled by
mist and magic this is the mascara home
of the Amazons location tropical island
population one hundred percent women
attractions everyone's a highly-trained
warrior oh yeah I know where I'm taking
my next vacation
the Amazons were tasked by the Olympian
gods to prepare for a great battle and
trained in solitude for many millennia
until one day when a military plane
randomly crashed into paradise call it
luck call it will of the gods but
Olympia's chosen were no longer a secret
even they knew which is about time they
checked out what the rest of the world
was up to so after playing the deadliest
game of catch ever because they were
catching freaking bullets they chose
their finest fighter as an ambassador to
quote man's world
this was Diana Prince or as she would
come to be known Wonder Woman Diana
didn't just reconnect the Amazons with
the rest of the world she became a
goddamn superhero and one of the best
with her defined physiology she already
possessed incredible superhuman
abilities however her powers were
amplified by blessings of the Gods
including flight accelerated healing and
a little bit of magic but as super news
noticing a few new experience lines in
the mirror every morning I think I'm
mostly jealous of her power to barely
ever age Wonder Woman also carries an
arsenal of specialized weapons and tools
surely invisible jet seems kind of
stupid when she can just lift up on her
own but how about that lasso of truth
she can make anybody spill the beans
with anything I crossdress in a Wonder
Woman outfit it makes me feel powerful
she has carried many blades but her
tried and true was crafted by the god of
the Forge efest as' the edge of this
immaculate sword is so fine it can shear
electrons off of atoms
Superman once used it to literally split
an atomic nucleus which promptly flew up
in their faces
good Dame's close speaking of things
blowing up that's the oven I got 5
minutes to get that thing out of here at
this whole building is vaporized what
see you next week for the full fight
between Wonder Woman and Shira what are
you baking