Scold vulgarities.
Scold what?
(Hokkien vulgarity)
Hi, guys! I'm Fikah.
I'm 21 years old and this is my grandmother who is 72 years old.
Hi, guys!
My name is Ian Jeevan and I'm 25 this year.
Today, I have my grandma with me.
How old are you this year?
This year I'm 85 years old.
Hi! My name is Wen and I am 24 this year.
Grandma, how old are you?
80 years old.
Old liao.
I feel like we have a very unique bond.
We will film videos together.
On Tiktok, I would do some dancing, talking,
I do actions with my hands and things like that.
We don't meet often.
But when we do meet, we are quite close.
When we are together, we make fun of each other.
I would say we are relatively close.
We always go to her house to eat dinner.
She cooks for us every week.
I think we're close in that way.
But we don't really talk much about deep stuff.
PD: Does she give you any advice?
So many.
You would give me a lot of advice right?
Yeah, I would give.
"Jeevan, you need to be truthful."
Getting a good job.
That's why we are here, I'm hired at TSL, right?
Ya, that's why.
It's because of her advice.
PD: If you have a boyfriend or are dating,
PD: would you ask her for advice?
I don't think so.
Maybe my grandma wouldn't really understand
the complexities of a relationship.
And I don't even tell my parents, so...
Let alone my grandma, you know?
No offense.
Don't be disheartened.
I won't.
If I want relationship advice, I would want it from someone my age.
And would know the situation.
Because we (are) old.
Different advice, you know?
Young ones (give) different advice.
So maybe they cannot take.
PD: In today's episode, we are going to challenge you
PD: to ask your grandma some relationship scenarios.
PD: And she would have to give advice based on the scenarios given.
So, the director said that if I'm dating,
what advice would you give me?
I really like it.
I want to be a great-grandma!
Ah ma, it's not about that!
I'm currently talking to 2 people.
Person A is 10 years older than me.
However, we click really well and he is very stable.
He seems like he wants to settle down soon and build a family,
but I'm scared of what others may think.
Person B is the same age as me
and we seem to have many mutual friends.
However, he is still figuring things out
and doesn't seem to want to settle down yet.
What should I do? Who should I choose?
10 years older is too much.
Ah. She says 10 years is a bit too much, guys.
Too old and never think of the future, you know?
Because there's a large age gap,
not only me but our family wouldn't be happy with that.
In everything, she would have a lot of control.
He's older than you, but it's not a problem.
If you like the younger one,
just keep in contact with him as good friends.
The girl who is the same age as you,
she doesn't wish to get married yet.
But for marriage, there is not need to rush at this age.
Second one, I think he takes time to settle down.
Even if he’s the same age,
it's not like I want to get married now anyway.
Take time to slow down.
Don't be in a hurry, correct.
I completely agree.
Save money, think of yourself.
How you can communicate together.
Must understand each other.
As long as you like the guy. My opinion doesn't really matter.
Really?
Really. It's fine as long as you like each other.
I can say she's coming from a place of love.
She wants the best for me.
And she feels if I choose someone
who is in the same life stage and age as me,
maybe that would be better.
To be honest, I thought she would want me to just settle down.
I feel like that's an older person's mindset, right?
Just like "aiya don't care lah, just hurry up".
'Settle down'. Never think.
Ah, she called out the old generation already.
You all never think.
Go and marry a bald men.
She say "If you want to marry a bald man, also can".
She doesn't mind.
Why ah? Where is this coming from?
My partner and I recently found out that
her best friend of 10 years likes her.
However, my partner still wants to continue to hang out with him
like nothing happened.
My partner claims that she has no feelings for the best friend.
However, I'm a little worried that they are really close.
What should I do?
If there is no feelings, why does he have to go out?
She say "If you have no feelings, why must go out?"
Why?
Why?!
So you're jealous?
If you’re sad, no choice...
Tell him that you like someone else and you don’t want him anymore.
Oh! So-
Say you’re going to find someone else. Break up with him?
Yes.
Because the two of them are very close,
you should stay away from them, is what I advise.
But that woman is in the wrong.
It's like he's playing with you. Having an affair.
We know where this goes so it's better to let him go.
But what if we're madly in love with them?
Throw that love for him away.
Throw away.
At night, you're thinking "what is he doing?"
"Eh, where you go?"
And then you cannot sleep!
Ah, no point what.
Yeah like I said earlier, you should leave the relationship.
I have to tell her?
Yes.
She said it's really important to explain
and communicate how you feel in that situation.
Because if you feel this bothers you, you gotta let your partner know.
God will find a perfect match for everyone.
A right girl will come to you.
Did I give the right answer to the question?
It doesn’t matter if it’s right or wrong
as long as you say it from your heart.
You give good advice.
My ex cheated on me 2 years ago but I still love him.
Yesterday, he said he wants me back and asked that I forgive him
for what he did wrong and that he has changed.
Do I give my ex a second chance?
After two years, maybe he has nothing with the lady anymore.
He comes back to you...
Nobody wants him already.
Then he come back to you?
It's up to you.
You think for yourself.
If it's me, I don't want.
Maybe the man (has) no money.
Then the lady (that) loved him got another man.
And then he come back to you.
And he thought you got money one.
Tell him to go to hell.
You would forgive him if it were you?
Yes.
If there’s no kids, he can leave the other girl.
If you’ve come back for me, I’ll accept.
Aren't you worried that he might find another woman in the future?
Then that’s too bad, that’s your fate.
You have to see whether she changes.
You have to think and see,
should I forgive her?
No matter man or woman, if they do a crime,
when they're asking for genuine forgiveness
we need to forgive them.
So, for me...
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
I would just keep thinking "what if they cheat on me again?"
I would forgive, but I wouldn't want to date you again.
I have been talking to this person
for quite some time on a dating app.
And after about 2 months, we decided to meet.
However, when I met him, he looks nothing like his pictures.
And have been using other people's pictures to catfish me.
But I decided to just stay on the date anyway
and he seems nice despite lying.
He asked me to go on a second date.
Should I go on a second date with this person?
Do you know what a dating app is?
What's that?
We have apps on our phones, and this one is to meet other people.
You know what’s that right?
Like using your phone to find men.
Yes.
Like shopping for men.
Yes.
So, for women, they can put their pictures and information
and if I like her, I can message her.
We've been talking and she says she wants to go out.
But when I see her,
she does not look like the girl in the picture.
She put a different girl's photo as her own.
She’s a nice girl but she just tricked me.
She says she has the interest to meet me again.
She wants to meet you again for the second time?
She wants to meet again.
Because she says it's funny, this girl (is funny).
What do I say to that?
Sometimes they lie because they want to attract you.
Go out with him, but you have to be careful.
Because he lied already, right?
He already lied like that.
He lied because it’s hard for him to get girls.
If he’s okay, his attitude is okay,
carry on.
But if he acts differently compared to the first time, bye bye.
I don’t think you should go.
Listen to me.
He doesn’t really want you. He wants to toy with you.
You know the face and the person but you don’t know their heart.
You don't know if he has a good heart.
If you go, you’re done for.
If I want to scold him,
would you help me?
Yes, I will.
If it’s a bad guy, I’ll say-
(Hokkien vulgarity)
Your father will go and punch him.
My partner's grandparents seem to be a bit cold towards me.
What can I do to get closer to them and impress them?
Do you have any advice on-
How should I impress them?
Impress them?
What is there to impress them?
You don't owe them anything.
I'm seeing my girlfriend's family for the first time.
What should I bring?
You have to be polite and speak nicely.
Don't go empty handed.
Ask the guy what his parents like.
What does his mum like to eat? Get something she likes to eat.
If she’s not happy then no choice.
Shake their hands, give them money and food.
Get close to them and talk to them.
Basically, she's asking me to bribe them.
Give them money.
Just a handshake with a little bit of money on the hand.
Boyfriend, if you're watching this...
“Fikah made kueh, eat up.”
Feed them.
Feed them also.
Must feed them.
Slowly lah.
Why?
I mean to reach their heart.
Visit once or twice a week.
After awhile they’ll love you. Old people are like that.
Basically, she's trying to say that
the way to their love is their stomachs.
I think it's good advice.
Regarding all these situations we discussed,
do you find them strange?
No. You don't find them strange?
I find them funny.
To be honest-
Even though she said old people have this way of thinking
She doesn't have that, apparently.
Because she's very current.
All the situations seem to fit.
I think only one of them, I didn't really agree with.
I agreed with all the others.
The advice that I loved the most from what my grandma said was
Really the-
"Why is there a need to impress your partner's grandparents and parents."
In a lot of ways, it applies to a lot of my life.
Sometimes, we are so affected by what people say.
We always wanna keep impressing (them).
But at the end of the day, for what?
We are doing this for what?
To the audiences,
is there any advice you want to give on the topic of relationships?
Firstly, you have to get to know each other as friends.
You need to get to know each other
so that the two of you can understand each other.
If someone wants to find a partner, but cannot find one.
What should they do?
If they can't find a partnerthen they would have to slowly find.
If they get along well, sure. If not, then don’t want.
Cannot force it.
Sometimes, us old ladies, our minds are different.
Yours is different. So, we must (think) together.
Actually, not bad ah.
Actually, I never thought to ask you for advice.
But maybe I will in the future.
Thank you for watching this episode of Generation Gift.
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Bye!