JOE: Good job, sir.
Yeah, keep 'em
straight like that. Good strategy.
You know, the life of a carnival worker
keeps me free and untethered.
I know. That's why I was immediately attracted to you.
I could tell you were an outlaw.
Is that right? Yeah, I am kind of an outlaw
through and through, baby.
MAN: Damn. Good toss there, sir. Good one.
You know, society's got no hold on this outlaw.
MAN: Damn it!
All right, all right. Real close.
You know, I'm like a bird.
Actually, more like a hardass pterodactyl.
[CAWING]
MAN: This is bullshit!
Hey, God forbid you don't win after throwing
only two quarters, man.
It's a business. It ain't UNICEF, okay?
I got a good mind to take my outlaw ass and...
Yeah, you better walk away, hardass.
Some people, right? I know.
So later on, I'm pickin' up my Hemi Road Runner.
That's right, I said Hemi. Wow. A Hemi?
Balls to the wall. Oh, yeah.
I left it here. Friend's house.
Well, actually it got towed two years ago.
But I'm gonna pick it up this afternoon.
I might need a pretty little lady
to sit on the front seat with me while I break her in...
The car, I mean.
What do you say?
That's a big 10-4.
[♪♪♪]
Hey, my man. I got a big date tonight.
I'm here to pick up my ride.
License and registration? Yes, sir.
She's gonna freak out when she sees my wheels.
Total impound fees come to $3496.
Plus 35 bucks for the tow. What?
Three thousand, man,
that's more than I paid for the whole car!
Oh. Hmm. Interesting.
You want it or not? Yeah, but...
I think that all I got's, like, 450 bucks.
This is a business. This is not a charity.
Maybe one day UNICEF will get into the impound business.
But until then, we're the people to see.
I'll tell you what I could do.
I could sell you a car for 450 bucks, but...
it ain't gonna be no Hemi.
[ENGINE STARTS]
[♪♪♪]
I thought you had a Hemi.
Yeah, I had to have a footprint gas pedal installed.
So I stole this pile.
Oh. My outlaw.
That's right. Let's go.
♪ Look what's going on Inside you ♪
So I had fun tonight.
Even though you took me to the carnival
that I was already at.
Yeah, I had fun too. Listen. Can I ask you a question?
Mm-hmm. If I told you you had
a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Sure would.
Wanna go to my place? Sure do.
[BOTH GIGGLING]
All right. Finish your story.
Why do you live with foster parents?
Well, because when I was, like, 9 or 10 years old
my parents pulled over on the side of the road
to look at that big dinosaur out there in California,
and the next thing I knew, they were gone.
Wait a minute. Did you have a brother?
Mm-hmm. I did.
So you wanna go back in the house?
We can have sex.
[TIRES SQUEAL]
She's your sister, dude. She's gotta be.
And you made out with her, man!
What's wrong with you, you pervert?
Well, I didn't know she was my sister when I kissed her.
So it's not my fault.
And she's one of the hottest girls on the planet.
You just said your sister's hot!
What a freak! You're goin' to hell, man!
I got to tell her what happened, why I got weird.
And for God's sakes, I got to treat her like a sister.
[WOMAN MOANING] [BED SPRING SQUEAKING]
[ALL EXCLAIM] Joe, no!
WOMAN: We've got questions
comin' in from...
Boss, the phones are goin' nuts. That was a bombshell.
Wait, wait, man. I found out later that she wasn't my sister.
[ALL SIGH] Oh, thank God!
Thank God, dude! That was gonna be a little much.