My flies are closed.
I'm feeling very vulnerable because I'm about to put my fashion
choices into your hands with Viewers Pick My Outfits 2.
I've got a little minion behind the camera
(Dan) (offended): Little minion?
A tall minion
(Dan) Excuse me, I am a large minion.
Although, are you going to come on the camera or not?
- (Dan) No, I'm not getting dressed. - P: No, he's in his pyjamas
(Dan) I thought we had a strict agreement, the entire concept of this video was
(Dan) I get to sit in my pants just offering unhelpful comments.
Okay, well that's what's happening again. (Dan) My natural state.
I asked you guys to submit some more outfits using #ClothesForPhil.
I had a little browse. I chose two of my favorites
and then Dan has chosen the rest.
Have you chosen anything related to cheese
Because I'm gonna leave. (Dan) I promise there's no cheese.
Why did you do this?
P: Because I figured my fashion actually levelled up after the last video.
This, for example, this is a fashion risk.
(D) You are the only person that doesn't like that on you.
I know. I get self-conscious
cause of the neck scenario.
(D) It's got some weird sport aesthetic
which does not feel authentically you,
(P: Hey) but it works.
P: Could we call it Phil core
(Dan) But here's... okay.
(both laughing)
- (Dan) Phil core is a thing. - P: It is.
(Dan) You're making this video because you feel like
- (Dan) you need fashion help - P: I am
(Dan) but guess what? You exist -P: I do
- (Dan) and you are valid, okay? -P: Thanks.
-(Dan) You have clothes. You have a style, -P: Yeah.
(Dan) and it's fine.
P: Maybe I should wear it like this.
[gasp sound effect]
Is that better... is that worse?
(Dan) I'm gonna make you blur that.
P: Shall we show a bit of Phil style first?
Just so I can say what I've been doing recently.
(Dan starts speaking but is cut off) Aussie Google Home: ... is not available.
Check that it's powered on.
(AGH continues speaking) This is... now is not the time!
(Dan) You are not part of this!
P: Such an attention seeker!
[Sad Music]
Here's a couple of outfits you might find me wearing on a typical day.
- (P clicks and jumps) [zoom sound effect] - (Dan) Boom
P: This is Phil about town.
I'm going to do some errands.
(both laugh) (Dan) As if you've ever been about (P: Hey!) town.
(Dan) I do resent that your bizarre complexion
is more suited to black clothes than me
but that's... there we go.
P: You need to wear colour, Dan. That's it.
(Dan) NO
(P clicks and jumps) [zoom sound effect] This is a 2020 look.
Look at me I'm colour coordinating
which is something I learned from the last video.
I got the NASA Vans, which are very Phil and cool
(Dan) Ah, and you noticed how the colour on the side ties into your jacket.
(Dan) Look at... Are you proud?
-P: Woo! - (Dan claps) I'm proud guys.
FASHION (laughs) - (Dan) Yes.
P: So why am I making this video? I've already sorted. I'm cool.
- (Dan) The end. (mumbles) - P: Yeah there we go.
[dramatic sound effect]
- (Dan) Our first one is from Tye - P: I'm nervous
(Dan) who wants you to live up to the tour slogan
- (Dan) and give the people what they want - P: An introvert
- (Dan) by getting fully nu... No. - P: (laughs)
(Dan) Um, last time, you levelled up with the jeans, (P: Yes)
(Dan) with the rip. You flashed us the meat. (P: laughs)
(Dan) This time, you're getting edgy with the leather jacket.
[short dramatic sound effect] P: Oh no!
- (Dan) So get 'em both on. - P: I don't want to.
(Dan) Let's see the 3.0.
P: I'm so traumatized by leather jackets. I once tried to buy one when I was like 15
and I put it on in the changing room, I went and bought it and then I got home.
And then I looked at myself in the mirror and I was like [fail sound effect]
- "I'm just not cool enough." - (Dan) Awh
So then I returned it the next day
- (Dan) Phil, you just needed to love yourself.
- P: I know, maybe this is the time. - (Dan, singing): Stay true to yourself.
(Dan) Time to come out Phil, again. Ha ha, ba dum tis.
(Phil, northern): I'm gay. (Phil) Get me a micro... phone. I mean...
- (laughing) Get me a... - (Dan) What the f**k are you on?
(Phil) Get me a motorbike cause I'm ready to ride.
[rock music] (Dan) Okay (mumbles) Wow.
- (Dan) Oh look at this- - P: Oh my god!
- (Dan) Edgy Phil is here. - P: (laughs) This does not suit me.
(Dan) He's going to punch you in the neck and you'll say "Thank you."
- P: What do you think? I'm not sure. - (Dan) Um
P: Hmm, kind of getting used to it.
(Dan) You know what man? P: What?
(Dan) If you had a different personality, this would work.
P (indignant): I could have a different personality! (Dan laughing)
- [more rock music] P: Let's hit the bar - (Dan still laughing)
P: Get on my bike. I look like Angel from Buffy.
(Dan) Why are all of your stances so weird?
P: I don't know how to be a real person!
(Dan) Why'd you stick your butt back? Why- just control your hips!
P: What? My hips don't lie, Dan. I don't know. What would a cool person do?
[both trying to yodel (?) Hips Don't Lie]
I don't think I'm a biker vibe, but I appreciate I don't look
completely ridiculous.
(Dan) You're a gay-ker vibe.
[ba dum tis sound effect] P: Ohh!
I'm warmed up though now, I'm ready for a challenge
(Dan) You ready for a fashion quest? You're going to regret saying that.
(Dan) We are doing a complete 180 now Phil.
P: Ooo soft! I- I chose this, this is the one I chose!
(Dan) This one comes from Rita. What you gonna call it Phil?
P: Soft, cosy cloud boy.
[twinkly sound effect] (Dan) Cloud core P: Yeah
(Dan) Why is everything just "core?"
P: What is "core?" I don't know!
(Dan) Does anyone feel a cloud system coming in?
- P [laughing]: That does not work. - (Dan) Phil
P: I look like some kind of creepy weatherman.
(Dan) You just need to vibe it out, right? Put your hands in your pockets
and now look aloof.
[cricket sound effect]
P [laughing]: What's aloof, I don't know what that means [Dan laughing loudly]
Wait, I look like I'm amongst the clouds.
(Dan) You need glasses. This is what this needs.
P: Right, get my glasses.
(Dan) What the eff happened to your glasses?
P: Look, this is- this is how cool people wear glasses now.
You don't need both arms.
(Dan) What did you do? P: I sat on them.
(Dan) Yes. P: Yeah?
(Dan) Oh cool, yeah.
P: Are we loving it? A weather system's coming in, and it's me.
[both laughing]
(Dan) It's like an outfit someone would wear in a kpop video while they're sat in
a wall (?) looking cute for 30 seconds before they thEN put their leather jacket
on and do a breakdance.
(Dan) Shrug it, relax it a bit- yes! And then the front tucked in.
Can you drag the sleeves so you have like, sweater paws, slightly?
P: Yeah, what about this?
(Dan) Yes. P: Yeah?
(Dan) Yeah.
P: Do we love it? I can't see myself but I'm assuming it looks better now.
Let's give it a yes. [happy sound effect]
(Dan) Alright Phil, this next one comes from Barbara, I don't want you to think
about it too much, I don't want you to look at it too much.
- I just need you to believe in it. Okay? - P: Alright, fine. (Dan) Here we go!
P: Woah! I caught em all! Oh my god. Are these crocs?
(Dan) Go. GO (cheeky laughing)
(Phil) Are you actually kidding?
(Dan) Don't- Phil. Don't think about it.
[snazzy music] [Dan laughing]
P: What is this? I look like an Animal Crossing.
(Dan) You look like- an animal crossing.
P: I tell you what though, crocs are surprisingly comfortable.
(Dan) I love that you naturally- Woah. P (laughs): I'm not lying.
(Dan) Leave.
(Dan) I love that you instinctively went for the crocs and socks,
P: Crocs and socks man! (Dan) That says something haunting about you for sure.
P: I'm kinda digging the shorts. (Dan) I- I'm not gonna lie,
(Dan) there is something cool about this. If this was an anime character, people
would be like, oh yeah, the cool frog guy.
P: I feel like I wanna trade some goods to you with a leaf and go
[animal crossing character talking sound]
(Dan) What would you trade?
P: Uh, my dignity. [laughing]
[boing sound effect when P jumps]
(Dan) Despite how haunting this is [P laughs] this is so well co-ordinated.
P: Yeah, I mean you can't deny it, it is pretty cool in a way.
(Dan) It's so well put together, it transcends the crime its committing.
P: I picked this, this is my other one! (Dan) Okay, I mean I feel like we've got
some kind of a, swamp dwelling creature theme going on [shoes clatter on floor]
P: Oh my god- Dan! [D laughs, mumbles] Jesus! (Dan) That shoe is a weapon!
P; This- right- this was me tryna put myself out my comfort zone.
[boing sound effect when P jumps] (Dan) New outfit, quick!
(Phil) These jeans are a lot shinier than I was expecting!
I feel so uncomfortable. (D laughing) (both make sounds of discomfort)
P: They're chafing in places they shouldn't!
(Dan) It's physically uncomfortable to look at you wearing that.
P: These boots, are not made for walkin (Dan) What are they made for?
- P: F- f- Oh my god. - (Dan) Don't- careful.
P: I've never had heels this high before. I see what the person was going for, but
it just, does not work for me. [both laugh]
P: Look how high they are as well, like what's going on?
(Dan): Okay Where does my butt start and my body end?
- (Dan laughs) P: What? - (Dan) What?
P: I dunno.
- (Dan) I don't hate the jumper. - P: I quite like the jumper. This is cosy
- (Dan) For some reason, that disgusting colour looks nice on you.
P: Ouh! (Dan) Ouh! P: (mumbles)- sit down.
P: Wait, listen to this. (squeaking) Ugh- It's so hard to sit down.
(Dan) Alright Phil, the next one is a verified iconic look so if you
- P: Okay - (Dan) -can't make this work,
you're the problem. P: Alright, what is it?
(Dan) Let's see if you can guess. Boom.
P: Oo! Oh my god, is this Harry Styles? Like the album cover?
[correct sound effect]
(Dan) Get in that closet! P: Cheap version (both laugh)
(P making banging sounds) (Dan) What is that noise?
(Phil) That's me tryna get the pants off! (Dan) Oh, mate, no.
(Dan) Phil, Phil your privacy is compromised! (Phil) Sorry, sorry!
(Dan) Get your Fine Line out for the lads!
(Phil) I don't wanna come out. (Dan) Me, 28 years ago- What?
(Dan) (spluttery laughter) Oh- okay we have a slight transparency issue here
- P: Oh- oh no, wait, we're gonna - (Dan) We're gonna censor that.
P: -pull that down a bit. (laughing) These are not leaving anything to the imagination
(Dan) I don't wanna look. P: I like these, they're quite flowy
I wish they weren't see-through
(Dan) I don't know if you're like a good two feet taller than Harry Styles,
but your entire ankles shouldn't be showing. P: No.
I look like a clown that washed his clothes wrong.
(Dan) Or, someone from ABBA.
P (accented): Maybe it would help better if I spoke like Harry.
- P: That was bad (laughing) Sorry, sorry! - (Dan) You had 10 years to work on that.
P (to D): What's the pose he does?
(Dan) Right arm, like that. That's your- oh my god. P: Wait
P: I don't know what I'm- (Dan) Not like a teapot!
P: Wha- you said on my hip!
(Dan) Then lean back and do that P: I'm breaking my spine (D laughs loudly)
(Dan): Why do you look like you're struggling to do a limbo?
(Dan) Head back! Yes P: (struggling noises)
P: I need to take this off
(Dan) What about the suspenders, you a suspenders guy now?
(Phil) I'm literally none of that guy.
(Dan) Have you realised? (Phil) What? It's very relevant.
(Dan) Exactly, this is a good positive message Phil.
[snazzy music] (Dan laughing)
P: Why do I do this to myself? (Dan) I am creasing! I am folded in half!
- P: Oh, I should've kept my jeans on - (Dan) I am ORIGAMI
(Dan) Why does it say pump me hard?? P: Oh my god, are you serious?
(Dan) I am gonna- kills 99.9% of what? W- what does that say?
P: W*****s, are you- who made this? Who is this for?
(Dan) Sure as hell hope it wasn't for this year, this is gonna be the world's
least tasteful Halloween costume.
P: What's a hand sanitiser pose? [two happy beep sound effects]
(P laughing) (Dan) Okay that with the slogan at the top- just get out, get out
(Dan) stop. P: Take a squirt. [squirt sound effect]
(Dan) Alright this one was requested by basically everyone that has an account
on the internet. P: Okay. Oo!
- (Dan) The need for tweed. - P: Oh-hoo-hoo!
P: I don't suit brown, I'm gonna tell you that now.
(Dan) And there's the ass again.
(Phil) So what's this look called? (Dan) According to Onya, Ai, and a billion
other people, this is dark academia. (Phil) Okay, I'm gonna try and walk
- sophisticated. - (Dan) Here we go.
[twinkly music] [Dan laughing] (Dan) Why are you so creepy?
P: I don't know! Oh my god, I look like Harry Potter. [Dan laughing]
- P: This does not work. - (Dan) No! Woah-wo-wo-wait a minute.
(Dan) You just look like an English professor. [more laughing]
P: Yeah, where's the dark? Do I just need to like throw books at people or something
(Dan) You look like literally anyone that you'd find in a musty library.
P: Did you do your homework? (accented) Maybe if I had a more sophisticated accent.
(Dan) What is that accent? P: This... is not me, on any level.
(Dan) Is this you in an AU fanfiction where it's Phil the intelligent but
quiet mysterious teaching assistant? P: Yeah, I reckon if I wasn't so annoying-
[both start laughing]
- P: -and just like, didn't say many words - (Dan) A moment of reflection.
P: -just sat in the corner and read a book maybe I could,
(Dan) So if you were not you (P: Yeah) on every fundamental level (P: Yes)
(Dan) This would be cool. P: Yeah.
(Dan) I see an element of Phil growth that is already present here,
take off the jacket. Phil in a turtleneck. P: Oo! See now, I think it was the brown
jacket that was throwing it off. This looks alright.
(Dan) See now you're already looking darker academia.
[thunder sound effect] (Dan) You just- you were really enjoying
yourself for a minute there P: Yeah I was, I was like really
- checking myself out. - (Dan laughing loudly)
(Dan) For a second you were like "Oo!"
P: Call me... Sebastian.
(Dan) Wait do you want your actual broken glasses?
P: I can see it, maybe in five years, I'll be walking my dog through the park
wearing these tweed trousers and living my best life.
(Dan) Wait I feel like we can make this work, put on your old trousers (P: Okay)
(Dan) And here's something that was sent in from one person (P: Yeah?) Ba-da-boom.
P: Fancy. This is how I will, leave a room [clattering sounds as Phil leaves]
(Dan) Nice to know that, after all these years, he's still f***ing weird.
(Both) OO! (Dan) Okay.
- P: I actually really like this one! - (Dan) Look at you now!
P: I feel like this would be good for a film premiere
- P: or something - (Dan) You could be any British man on a
fashion billboard. (P: Yeah) Well dressed, with absolutely no sense of individuality.
P: I like this colour, feel like it makes my eyes pop
- (Dan) Yeah, yes. - P: -in a good way.
(Dan) That's a lesson. P: Yeah.
(Dan) Wear a colour that makes your eyes pop! [laughing]
P: Thank you, it's not going to charity. Also, shoes, they're growing on me lads.
[mystical music] (Dan) Woomf. Oo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
P: I'm not sure how I feel. (Dan) Okay.
P: Ooo! Hello! You know what, I feel like that kinda works.
I'm gonna call this look "Soft Moon Boy". (Dan) Celestial pastel.
[silence]
(both start laughing)
(Dan) Wait I think you need the round glasses.
P: No but I hate the round glasses. (Dan mumbling) Eff the round glasses.
(Dan) I feel like you work at a candle shop, selling mysterious incense.
- P: Oo I'd love that. - (Dan) Maybe do some tarot card reading
on the side for people (P: Yeah) and if they've got an annoying boyfriend
put a little curse on them. P: Mhmm
I'm having fun trying things, I mean they might not all be for me, like I'd change
the colour of these pants, but overall I'm inspired.
(Dan) Right, I would say this was the thing that was most requested
P: Oh god, what have you guys done? Why is there lace?
(Dan) Just go with it, don't think about it, don't look at your own body
as you're putting it on. P (reading): Funchat? (Dan) Ah!
(Phil) Are you kidding? [laughing] Why are these two things combined?
It's gonna split! (Dan) Are you f***ing trying to just say
weird s***- (P: No!) Okay
(Dan) We are ready Phil! (Phil) Why did you choose this?
(Dan) Don't ask me, the viewers picked your outfit.
[boing sound effect] [costume jingling] [Dan laughing]
P: Oh my god! I look like some kind of nightmare!
[fun music]
P: This is not the anime fantasy dream. (Dan) Nightmare, ask who?
(Dan) Bro pull up your fishnets, you got like a drop crotch.
P: That's as far as they go.
(sound on fishnets ripping) (both start laughing, mainly Dan)
P: Oh my god (Dan still laughing)
I like that our window is open, the neighbours can probably see it.
(Dan) Uh, yeah absolutely we're gonna get arrested.
(Dan) I think you've found it Phil, this is your new style.
P: I mean, yeah, this is me for 2021, I'm just gonna wear cat maid outfit,
got my tail as well if you hadn't noticed. [tail jingles]
(Dan) Awh, that's very nice and it has a bell as well. P: Yeah.
P: Would you like a beverage sir? (Dan) I do- [mumbles] about any of this
(Dan) Get on all fours and meow like a cat.
P: There's a certain level of dignity-
[fun music] [record scratch sound effect]
P: No- that's- I'm not doing it! (Dan laughing loudly)
P: There's only so far I'll go- (Dan) Give us a meow!
P: Meow. (to Dan) What?
(Dan) We're gonna go through this right now. P: Okay.
(Dan) Do you like the ears? P: Yes.
(Dan) Do you like the bowtie? P: I like the bowtie.
(Dan) How are the gloves, they're kinda fun right? P: They're kinda soft.
(Dan) Now, I know that fishnet tights have connotations (P: They do) but how
do they feel? P: Kind of- kind of comfort-
(Dan, accusatory) YOU LIKE BEING A CAT MAID!
(Dan) ADMIT IT! (P: I love it!) ADMIT IT WE HAVE AWAKENED
SOMETHING WITHIN YOU! (P: I think if I- (laughing))
THIS IS NOT A JOKE OUTFIT THIS IS A SERIOUS GOD DAMN OUFIT
P: If you'd've spent more than £4 on the dress, maybe I'd like it a bit more
(Dan) You love it, now get on the floor and meow like a cat.
[NO]
- (Dan) One last normal one, okay? - P: How is there one last thing?
(Dan) Look, look look at it. Just go, it'll make sense. (P: What)
(Phil) What is this? (Dan) Promise you're not gonna look down
(Phil) Okay (Dan) Don't worry about what you're not
wearing, just reveal yourself. (Phil) Okay.
[dramatic music] [Dan starts laughing]
P: No! You got the Phil dress? Oh my god.
(Dan) THE Phil dress, is this a thing?
P: This is the most cursed thing that's ever been on YouTube.
(Dan) Oh, my, the sheer size of that face is just haunting.
- P: That is a big face - (Dan) Those eyes are piercing both
through your nipples (P laughing) and deep into my soul.
P: They are, it's- (Dan) Holy s***.
P: Am I being weird or does this look slightly good?
(Dan) It- you know what I was about to say? P: What?
(Dan) That looks weirdly not that terrible.
P: I think it's this section looks okay- (breaks off laughing)
(Dan) Yeah, no offense- it's the your face that makes this weird.
(Dan) But Phil, I feel like you've learnt so much in a fashion adventure today.
P: I have- (Dan) Is there nothing to take from the Phil dress?
P: I think like five years ago, I wouldn't have even wanted to put on a dress.
(Dan) (claps) And that is growth people! P: Yeah.
(Dan) You've got a lot of bruises on your legs. P: I do.
(Dan) Wh- what happens?
P: I don't know, I just bruise really easily.
(Dan) What have you been getting up to? P: Fighting bears. (Dan) Right, okay.
P: No offense to my own face. but, I want to burn this. (Dan) And I support you.
P: Oh my god, if I stretch it, I can like do a photobooth challenge.
P (demonic voice): Hello. HI. (laughing) Hey guys.
(Dan) This is like the worst memory sparking thing that I've ever experienced.
in my life. (P making weird noises)
P: That's enough, so there we go, you picked my outfits. (Dan) Mhm.
P: I think there was some kind of success in there amongst the weird ones.
You think? (Dan) That you ought to try to forget for a while.
P: What I've realised is I could lean in to being like a turtleneck wearing
sophisticated, pointy shoes kinda guy. (Dan) Distinguished gentleman Phil.
P: Yeah, or another day I could be a soft, pastel, vibing guy. (Dan) Exactly.
P: Not a maid guy, not a transparent trousers guy, and maybe not my face
on a dress guy. Uh... (Dan) Overall, a success.
[kids cheering sound effect] P: Overall, a success. (Dan) Woo!
P: Thanks Dan, your shopping was truly inspired.
(Dan) I am going to pull out my eyes and stand on them.
- P: Have fun with that. Oo. - (Dan) Thank you for having me.
(Dan) Can't say this was a positive experience for my mental health but
thanks for having me.
P: It's okay, you can write about this in your book. (laughing)
P: You will get through this video. [ba-dum-tis sound effect]
(Dan) Bruh- no, okay, bye I'm out. P: Okay bye.
(Dan) See you in 2029 f***ers.
P: Give me a thumbs up if you've enjoyed this! You can subscribe
to my channel, watch another video, and have a lovely... day.
Bye- oh wait- BYE.
[NO]