Hey, I know sometimes our patients can get really upset with us. And you might
find yourself in that position and wondering Jesus, how do I even deal with this? Like,
what did I do, I'm here to help them, they're yelling at me, and I don't know what to do.
So in this video, I want to share with you a few tips to help you as a nurse, whether you're new,
you're a student, or you're an experienced nurse, and you just haven't had that many opportunities
to practice a few communication skills. Alright, so the first tip I want to share with you is
to acknowledge them, you've just walked into the room, perhaps you were an hour late with their
water, because you got distracted, happens all the time. And you walk in and they're upset because
they don't have their water and now their Kleenex is on the floor. And their bedsheets are a mess,
and they're just, and they're putting it on to you. Okay, so let's just take a breath.
really sick because you don't own their feelings, right. But we can acknowledge their experience.
And this is the very this is like, in this strategy is like communication on steroids.
simply acknowledging their experience, will help to bridge the gap, right? Because we
need our nurse patient relationship, because there's a lot of trust in this relationship
that we rely on to help this patient go from where their current health journey is,
to where we're going to take them so they can move forward in their lives. And we want to make sure
we're maintaining that. So sometimes we're at risk of that being fractured. simply acknowledging,
yeah, I hear that you're struggling. And I'm sorry to hear that this is bothering you, upsetting you?
Or if you own any of it, sliding into Tip number two, acknowledge that. Yeah, I know, I said I was
going to be back an hour ago, and I'm so sorry. As soon as I walked out that door, I got distracted,
and I completely forgot. It's my fault. I'm here. Now. Step number three, shift them, how can I
support you now? What can I do for you to make things better, and make you more comfortable. So
acknowledge, own shift and redirect to the present tense, doesn't mean they're going to be happy with
you right away. But you're you're not owning their emotions, you're acknowledging that you hear it.
And you can see the experience has been difficult, except what's yours? And then let's move forward
because we got some work to do. We got it, we got to get you healthy and happy here, right.
Now, that first tip is all about validating the patient's experience and accepting any
truth in it. But what if there was no truth in it? What if they're just hostile at you, because
you're happened to be in the room, this can happen as well. I want you to recognize, and you probably
already do this. So tip number three is probably going to help you a lot. But Tip number two is to
recognize that this is their journey. And we have the privilege and the honor of walking alongside.
We get to go home every night, they stay in their their room,
this boring room. And so for them, their frustrations will be heightened and escalated.
They lack the ability to do things for themselves that they were able to do yesterday. And so
they're struggling with the self esteem issues, their self abilities. And so if they're mad at
you, and there's no truth and no foundation, my go to is to find agreement with their perspective,
right? Just honor and acknowledge how difficult this is for them. And that
you're here to help make it as easy as possible. Any questions you have? How can I support you,
and just get grounded in that role that you have already in you to be a support to them, and resist
the urge to go into that self doubt, because they're projecting their own lack onto you?
Hey, listen, there are a lot of opportunities for us to practice our communication skills as a
nurse, I think it's one of the best things nursing has given me is to stand in these moments when
it's hard with somebody and journey with and to walk through this discomfort together and try to
troubleshoot. Now I'll share with you I have had some moments that have been extremely informative.
And the one I want to share with you is actually I created a negative situation for the patient.
And it's something that I think a lot of nurses struggle with, due to the demands on the floor.
So I was working in a burns and plastic unit. And I think at that time, this is many moons ago.
I think at that time our patient load was six to eight. And there's four nurses on the floor.
Probably closer to six. At any rate, of course it's break time two nurses are gone. There's
only two nurses left on the floor for the whole unit. And a patient wanted to go back
to bed which is fine. I was in a room doing section on a patient who was in isolation.
And my nursing partner who was male came to me and he said hey, I have a patient.
She would like a female nurse. She wants to go back to bed.
I was feeling pressure of the workload, I'm in isolation, I got to take care of an airway. And so
I just asked if he'd go back and you know, share that information and see if he could help her.
He returned, stating she was insisting on a female nurse.
And I was frustrated, because he provides great care. It's not like we're looking at
anything when we take them from the chair to the bed. So I ended up having to swap out,
leave the patient I was working with to go down there, and I was not happy. And this happens.
This is my most formative learning moment. So I'm going to share it with you. And I walked in there,
I said, Okay, well, let's get you back to bed. You got me out of my other patients
room. So let's get moving. Something to that effect. I wasn't very kind. It was very abrupt.
And I shut her down. She's like, Oh, nope, I'll wait for my primary nurse, thank you. And I'm
like, no, like, I'm here. Now you pulled me out of that room, you wouldn't let my partner help
you. I'm here. Now let's get you back to bed. And she again, shut me down, rightfully so.
And she insisted on waiting for her primary nurse kickoff.
I move on. And as soon as I walk out of that room, I'm like, Oh, my God.
This is all my sink. And it was my sink, because I was worried about my to do list, my workload,
my patients, and in my mind, there was only one way this could be solved. And that was for him
to take care of the patients he was assigned to. And I was not flexible in my thoughts.
And so later, her nurse came back to the floor, and she came up to me, she goes,
Tammy, my patient is saying that you were rude to her. And I just can't believe that what happened?
And I owned it. I said, yeah, it was totally me. I said, I was frustrated. I can't believe
I talked to her that way. And I'd like to go apologize. But I wanted to give her some space.
And at the end of the day, I did go and apologize to her. And I think she accepted it because of
the position I had not because she truly wanted to accept it was my belief. And I moved on. But
that moment knowing in myself that the external factors and the forces and the pressures on me
could influence how I showed up with a patient was the most informative moments of my nursing career.
And I never forget it. And so when my patient is upset with me, and they talk a little tense or
they're short with me, I have to remember, the external forces and pressures in their life,
have put them in an unfavorable position. They're not themselves. They're frustrated, they're tired,
they're in pain, they have questions, they're scared. It's not to forgive them is to be aware
that the context of their life is something I don't know, and I can't see right now. So it's for
me to be curious. So I share that story. To help you be curious in those moments when a patient is
angry with you, short with you, cursing at you, pointing to the door and saying get the HIV here.
Those are your strategies. Number one, honor and validate their perspective to own what is yours,
take it if it's yours. If it's not yours, we can still honor their perspective. And get curious
about what the situation is and how we can support them. And number three, the most important one, do
not go home with the stink on you. If you need to talk about it with somebody before you go do that.
But don't let that one moment that one minute where somebody was mad at you. dull your shine.
Because nurse, my nurse friends, you're doing amazing work. And I want you to know that.
Now if you need some support, there's a few things I want to offer you today. The first is down in
the description box, you can pick up your safe conversation starters. So if your patients rude,
if they roll their eyes and Huff at you, there's a statement that you can use it's scripted, that is
meant to create a non defensive response and allow you to address the behavior if it's inappropriate,
if you don't own it, and then create a boundary that safe and hopefully open up exploration.
So download that guide this is going to be super helpful. This comes from actually nursing research
10 safe conversation starters to deal with 10 of the most defensive behaviors
you might see in the workplace. The second thing is I have actually started a second YouTube
station that focuses all on communication in the workplace around workplace toxicity, bullying,
disruptive behaviors, offensive behaviors, how to build good teams, hop on over there,
I'll put the link below as well and you can join me over there for more content on communication.
And then third, but not last. If you yourself are struggling and you want more resources,
more support. I do offer coaching and training in communication skill so you can conquer conflict
with confidence and boost up that skill set. So if you are struggling with either the dynamics
of a team that are not healthy, you have what you think is workplace toxic study or bullying,
grab a call with me the link is below and we can talk to see if maybe my program is the best
resource for you or what you need to do instead, I'll definitely give you a plan no matter what.
Remember, you're only one conversation away and I want you to make it a great
fabulous day focus on the good today, my friends