- Hi I'm Dave and I'm from New York.
Today I'm meeting a total stranger,
and for some reason we're going to Times Square.
- I am Samuel Swanson.
I am from a little small dot called Pine Level, Alabama.
This is my first time in New York City.
Ooh, there goes a Chipotle, (screams) yes.
♪ In New York ♪
- I'm terrified.
- [Narrator] This is a show where we take two strangers,
a local from the big city.
- I've lived in New York for about 10 years.
- [Narrator] And an out of towner.
- Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
- [Narrator] They go to one of the most infamous spots
in New York City; Times Square.
Dave absolutely hates Times Square.
- I hate Times Square.
- [Narrator] But Samuel could not be more excited.
(screams)
The goal is for Dave to withstand a trip to Times Square,
and find one thing he doesn't hate about it.
This is Tourist vs Local.
- I've lived in New York for about 10 years.
- Where I'm from there's no Starbucks.
There's no Burger King.
There's no bodega, you guys call it.
Everyone is in a trailer, so we really don't see brick.
If you do have brick, it's because your bougie or your rich.
In Times Square, I am really excited to see characters.
- Elmo's there trying to steal money from you.
It's awful, it's awful.
- I'm gonna be able to go to Broadway shows.
- I got news for you.
It costs like $120 to see a Broadway show,
and that's for the shittiest one.
You think you're gonna see Hamilton?
Yeah, good luck.
It costs $2,000 to see Hamilton.
- Shopping, maybe going out in the street.
Maybe get some cool, dope, awesome jobs
versus working at a McDonald's or at the county.
Some of the awesome things I'm hoping to see here,
maybe even Alicia keys.
I would love to see Beyonce.
I don't know if she's here or not or Kelly Roland.
(bell rings)
- It's loud, it's expensive, it smells bad.
- Discounted items, you could have a Gucci bag
for like 20 bucks.
I'm a caught me one cause you never know honey;
stun it till you make it, great food.
- I mean, there's probably some hot dogs
that are like three decades old you could get there.
- I'm ready to see crazy hairstyles
and crazy stuff.
(upbeat instrumental music)
Hey, I think we are here.
(upbeat instrumental music)
- Samuel, bring it in.
- What's up buddy?
- How you doing, welcome.
- Doing good.
- Come on in.
It's five flights up.
- Okay, there's an elevator right?
- [Dave] Nope.
- I'm already feeling it bro.
- We got two more.
- [Samuel] Technically, isn't it three?
- [Dave] We can do it.
- [Samuel] Talk about calf workout.
- Yeah, I got calves of steel.
We're gonna go down this little tunnel.
(sighs)
(beeps)
("Scared of Heights" by Jersey Demic)
- Are there any places you like going in Times Square?
- The best part about Times Square
is when you finally leave Times Square,
and you're free again.
- I'm a fun outgoing person,
but I love the simple things in life.
If I see a little monkey,
and you've probably seen it eight Times,
bro we're gonna have to stop it there.
- If we saw a little monkey running around in Times Square
that'd be awesome.
That'd be great.
- I wanna make you like Times Square buddy; hands down.
You're gonna have fun with me.
- There's no way.
(bell dings)
I have no idea what the tasks are.
You wanna do it?
- Yes, I will open it.
Yes, adventures, like Steven Universe.
Oh wow, so we have to buy a hot dog from a street vendor,
and eat it on the curb.
That's gonna be fantastic bro.
I've always wanted to have a New York dog.
Is that what you guys call it; New York dog?
- We call it New York diarrhea.
(screams)
- Ooh, there goes Chipotle.
Awe shit and a Starbucks.
Dave, you ready to get out now?
- Madison Square Garden is right over there.
- Oh, okay.
- That's it.
- Sweet, ah shit.
It looks like a prison.
- Yeah (laughs) it looks awful.
(screams)
- So we're excited Dave.
We're in New York City, Times Square.
Dude, let's go over there man.
What is that right there?
- [Dave] I don't know.
- Yes, this is amazing.
This is New York City bro.
I'm so sick of seeing a tree.
I love all the billboards, love all the lights,
and then dude way to advertise a movie man.
You definitely wanna go see that bro.
♪ We're in Times Square ♪
♪ We're in Times ♪
♪ Square ♪
(screams)
Yes, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's.
(upbeat music)
Hi buddy, can we get a hotdog?
Two of 'em.
I'm excited to get this hotdog.
- You're pumped for this right now.
- Bro, I'm so excited for this hotdog okay.
- I'll take a small hotdog.
Thank you, how much?
- Nine dollars?
(bell rings)
A nine dollar hotdog bro?
- This is like a play hotdog.
- We know bigger is better.
- I don't even want it.
(laughs)
(upbeat music)
- Okay, it's good.
Not Alabama hotdog (laughs).
My grandma said, "Never let food go to waste."
- There you go.
- Thanks buddy (laughs).
On to task two.
(bell dings)
- Having trouble with the envelope.
Take a photo with a costume character.
Elmo's there, it's awful.
- Oh dude, that's amazing bro.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
- I'm gonna get lice.
- Take a picture.
Take a picture, click, click.
What's up Mickey Mouse?
I swear, oh, he's latino.
Latino, hola (laughs).
Come on Dave.
We have different types of Mickey Mouses here.
All around the globe.
Yes, awesome.
Cinco de Mayo was amazing yesterday guys.
My first time ever.
Oh wow, so they just take money like that?
I'm sorry.
- [Dave] It's gonna cost us.
- What's happening?
She did.
All right Dave, come on Dave, picture with Elmo; yes.
(bell dings)
- I was terrifying.
We were just attacked by a bunch of Minnie Mouses.
My heart was pounding.
I thought I was gonna be hurt,
but thank God we made it out safely.
Now we're finally on to task number three.
- Three.
- We're so close.
We've been here 40 minutes,
but it feels like we've been here 40 hours.
- What's in envelope number three.
- I don't know what's in envelope number three,
but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna hate it.
(bell dings)
- Let's open it.
Oh, (laughs).
This is gonna be amazing.
Just come walk with me.
Walk with me for a moment.
- [Dave] Oh God.
- We have to write a song lyric
plus sing and perform on the large steps, yes.
So this bring it or break moment,
so David don't fuck this up.
- For you, I gotcha.
- [Samuel] All right, so.
- Let's write a song.
- Let's write a song baby.
Dave, dude, I'm actually here at the stairs bro.
I'm super excited.
This is like a dream come true bro.
I feel like Alicia Keys could come behind me
out of nowhere and just go
♪ In New York ♪
From Alabama I'm here.
All right, so are you ready to write the best song ever?
- Let's think, okay.
- Let's write something about all the things
that we see around here.
♪ Elmo tried to kill us ♪
♪ Hotdog man tried to kill us ♪
♪ Almost got hit by a bus ♪
♪ Here in Times Square ♪
- There's pose, so let's write down this first word.
♪ Pose for the camera ♪
♪ Elmo was great ♪
♪ The hotdog was nine dollars ♪
- We gotta hurry.
We only have seven minutes left.
- We suck at songwriting.
This task is gonna be a little bit hard (laughs).
- What makes this pair of stairs different
than any other pair of stairs you've ever been on?
- Because these stairs give you hope.
There's so much opportunity out there.
You know what I'm saying?
There's so many things you can do.
This is so promising for me,
because I know that if I wanna get up tomorrow
and go to a Broadway audition,
If I wanna get up and eat good pizza,
bro I can come to New York City.
Times Square where it's happening.
- I'm surprised, this is actually pretty relaxing here.
No ones trying to steal money from us
or do anything.
It's pretty nice here.
- See, told you buddy.
It's been such a great experience being here with you.
Hope we become friends.
Let's just write something about friendships.
- I love it.
- And this new journey.
- I'll harmonize.
- Dave no, you're harmony's gonna sound horrible.
I can tell a singer when I hear one.
You sound horrible Dave, but I love you (laughs).
- Ready to do this?
- Let's go, yes.
♪ What amazing day it is to be in New York City ♪
♪ Times Square ♪
♪ Where dreams can come true ♪
♪ If you take the red stairs ♪
- [Both] Yes.
(bell dings)
- We just finished task three bro.
New York City's still big.
We have a minute left, so what can we do in one minute?
- Let's get outta here.
- All right, fair enough.
- Hey, I'm sorry I was being a big ole sour puss earlier.
I decided to get you a...
- Oh man, thank you bro.
I really wanted one of these.
- Just to show you how sorry I am,
I got one too.
- This is dope.
- Wanna give 'em a spin?
- Yes, let's go, ready, go.
(fairy dust sprinkles)
("Adolescence" by Mel Croucher)
One of the most amazing parts of today,
is that I got a chance to see something
that's totally different.
People, food all over the place, pigeons, a Starbucks.
I got a chance to hang out with this guy
which was amazing.
So after hanging out with me today bud,
is there anything in Times Square
you have a different view on that you don't hate as much?
- It wasn't the worst thing that I've ever done,
and I had more fun than I thought I was gonna have.
Thanks to you I feel like it wouldn't have been
as fun if you weren't there.
You got a beautiful voice.
The voice of an angelic voice.
- It was a surreal moment.
I feel like he was Jay-Z, I was Alicia.
- I thought that too.
- We were just going in.
- The thing with Times Square
is I feel it's only as good as the company you keep.
- Yes.
("Adolescence" by Mel Croucher)