Participant: Sometimes I'm afraid even to go home.
Why are some women made like this?
They are wonderful on one level, but quite terrifying on another level?
Sadhguru: Never surrender human intelligence, genius, brilliance, talent, competence at the altar of good behavior.
If she’s like a rose plant, you just have to nourish her so that there are also one-hundred roses for the one-hundred thorns.
Speaker: The question is from Mr. Shankar from Thrichinapally.
“Namaskaram Sadhguru, My wife is a wonderful woman, but she has a sharp tongue.
Sometimes I'm afraid even to go home. Why are some women made like this?
They are wonderful on one level, but quite terrifying on another level. Please throw some light.”
Sadhguru: (Laughs) Light is coming up.
Well (Laughs), because…
because generally… generally I'm saying because some women will argue about this.
Generally, women have less muscular strength than a man,
when situations go little out of control, man (Laughs) wants to use his hands because that's all he's got.
So a woman, right from her young age, she sharpens her tongue because
she knows her muscles are not as big and strong as a man's muscles,
so her tongue is maybe way sharper than yours.
You can’t wag it like it, like her. Generally this could be true, for most people.
So...
(Laughs) It's not just a sharp tongue...
You know in India... You're from Thrichinapally; I think Navaratri is close by.
It's all about the Devi’s or the goddesses, in India.
Except a few, who are very civilized kind, rest of them, you’ve heard of them?
Rakini, Dakini, Lankini, Chinnamasta, Chandi, Kali, Bhairavi – you’ve heard of all of them.
Whoo, these are terrifying women. Usually, tongue hanging out you've seen. (Laughs)
Blood dripping, sometimes from their mouths, because they'll bite off your head.
(Laughs) But we’ve made such women worship-worthy in our country
because of some other quality that they have like your wife, she's a wonderful woman. Tch, tch, tch.
Wonderful on one level, but quite terrifying on another level.
So… so is by Bhairavi, so is Chandi, so is Cha… so is Chamundi,
so is Kali, so is Chinnamasta, tch, many, many, many of them.
They are wonderful on one level, quite terrifying on another level.
So it is your skill to get the wonderfulness of their… of their quality towards you,
and their terrifying quality goes towards somebody else. (Laughs)
The wonderfulness should come for you. That is a skill you have to learn, tch.
But the whole idea of why the goddesses are like this is...
For you to understand, if there is a wonderful quality,
either in terms of talent or intelligence or brilliance or some genius
within a person – right now, we're talking about women...
If there are such qualities in a woman that she has certain streak of genius
or she has extraordinary talents or she's super wonderful in something,
we don't want to surrender her intelligence, her brilliance, her genius,
her talent, her skills at the altar of good behavior.
Because you can train your puppy dog to behave well.
If you want good behavior...
That's why everybody these days instead of getting married, they’re getting a dog, you know?
Because you can train your puppy for good behavior.
So if good behavior is all you're looking for, then that's what you should settle for.
But if you're looking for other possibilities,
not necessarily always, but sometimes, it comes with not so good behavior.
Maybe sometimes with certain amount of nastiness;
it depends, what values you're looking for in your life. But I know… you are saying,
Mr. Shankar… Hey! What's your second name? Pillai?
(Laughs) Now I’m…. hmm… Now, I'm getting ideas.
(Laughs) Well, if you're…
If you're that one, I'm sure you're skillful enough to handle these terrifying situations.
Well, but never surrender human intelligence, genius, brilliance, talent, competence at the altar of good behavior.
Good behavior can be learnt; intelligence cannot be learnt.
Genius cannot be learnt. You have to unleash it; you cannot learn it.
In the process of unleashing a significant possibility, in case, not necessarily…
Don't take this as a… as an endorsement of your bad behavior; I'm not saying that.
If you want to have some bad behavior, you should show some extraordinary talent or brilliance or intelligence;
otherwise, you have no right to throw yourself around. (Laughs) Even then you have no right,
but never surrender significant aspects of human life in the form of intelligence,
competence, brilliance, genius at the altar of good behavior
because good behavior can be learnt, and it's only socially significant;
it has no life significance as such.
So, the wonderful wife that you have, ah...
if she’s like a rose plant, she has two roses or one rose and one hundred thorns;
you just have to nourish her so that there are also one hundred roses for the one hundred thorns.
Well, the number of thorns for the size of the plant it is, it stays constant,
but the number of flowers can be enhanced.
I think that's what you should do with this wonderful wife of yours.
I'm sure she's a wonderful woman, but little tongue lashing department is strong.
Ah… tch.
You must find some other victim for her and you must get the wonderful part of her. (Laughs)