Hey mentors.
Hey, I'm proud of you for being for being out there to change people's lives and just
literally out there helping people move forward.
But the question is: Are you making the 3 mistakes that experienced mentors make?
You're a mentor and you've been mentoring people for a while.
So now, that you are an experienced mentor, I'd like to warn you of some things that you
maybe doing that could be lowering your value that you're giving as a mentor.
So, there are 3 things that for sure I need to make sure you're aware of that you have
not unconsciously slipped into.
And let's make some changes here and make sure you're mentoring skills are constantly
in the upgrade and that you don't have any downgrade happening.
Number 1 mistake that an experienced mentor makes is called projecting.
What happens is I mentor who's been mentoring people for a while.
They will fall into a trap where they're mentoring the other person based upon their own personal
problems.
Like they're literally you're trying to work out their personal problems through the mentee
that their mentoring.
And this is something that a mentor does not even see happen.
Does not even recognize that they're doing this.
And what happens is as a mentor, what happens is we want to be in a place where we're mentoring
them on their challenges not on our challenges and how we fix our challenges.
We need to mentor them based upon them.
Not us.
And so, how do you check in with this and make sure you're not doing this whole projecting
of your problems on other people is to check in the next mentoring appointment you have
with them.
You need to ask them questions if the techniques you've taught them or the instructions you
gave them are really working for them.
You see as soon as a mentee or your clients starts to struggle and they're not moving
forward very well, you more than likely of giving them suggestions that were more about
your problems than their problems.
More about your goals instead of their goals.
So, this usually happens to experienced mentors because you kind of just get in to a pattern
of things that you're doing.
But if you're client is not moving forward or your client is struggling in some form
and they stopped reporting and they're kind of reporting less than normal, you have accidentally
started to project your problems on them.
So, you're next mentoring appointment, be very conscious and clear that you're mentoring
them on what they're going through.
Mentoring them on their steps they need to take for their goals and for their challenges.
And for you to leave yourself out of it.
Number 2, mentors kind of slip into a place of telling people what to do instead of evoking
those thoughts.
You see, a mentor is someone who helps the other person discover solutions and discover
answers.
Mentors don't just tell people answers and tell people things.
You don't just go around just telling people what to do.
You help them find the solutions.
You help teach them things that help them look within.
So that when the mentoring program is over, that person is empowered to be able to solve
their own life challenges.
They're not dependent on you.
And mentors who create mentess to be dependent on them?
Yeah, you're breaking the code of ethics there.
We do not create dependents.
We create independent people because you've trained them on how to think.
You've trained them on how to manage their life.
You've trained them on how to find solutions.
That's a great mentor.
It's when a person learn how to do it themselves.
If you found yourself where your mentees show up, you give them answers and then they go
away with just your answers and they're not really discovering things themselves, now
you now you need to change.
Get back into mentoring to where you're asking them to come up with solutions, come up with
ideas.
But you're there to lead, guide and train them through that process.
Okay, number 3.
You'll know that you've kind of slipped as a mentor when you notice that you're giving
the same answers to different clients.
You know, let's say you have 3 appointments in the middle of the day and you got boom,
boom, boom.
You got this 3 appointments.
And in this 3 appointments, you're teaching exactly the same thing to the first client,
to the second client to the third client.
Like it's exactly the same thing.
Now, come on.
It's 3 different people.
There's no way it would be the same thing.
There's no way because each person has a different learning style.
And if you're being a great mentor, you are customizing what you're teaching to that person's
learning style.
So, it'd be the same topic that you're teaching them or training them on but it's not delivered
in the same way.
I caught myself.
I totally caught myself.
I had 4 appointments in 1 day.
And I caught myself teaching exactly the same thing to all 4 people.
Now, as a mentor, I kind of thought for a second, I thought, "Wow, this is...
This is easy.
All I got to do is just teach the same for all 4 people."
But that night when I went to bed, somethings was troubling me on that.
It's just like, "Wait a minute.
That's not suppose to be the same thing.
These are 4 different people."
And for that different people that means, if I was really listening to them and I was
really mentoring them as who they are, then the way in which I taught it would've been
more custom.
So that's the third one.
--To really check in.
Are you just disseminating the same information straight across?
And you kind of went to that mode of...
You know, just a cookie cutter experience?
And like, "Oh, it's another person.
Just give them exact same information."
I know mentors who do that.
And I don't feel like that's mentoring.
It more feels like it's manufacturing.
Where there is the same thing no matter who walks through.
It's the same thing.
That sounds like a manufacturing line.
You know, or an assembling line.
But I think really mentoring is an individual experience.
I really believe that mentoring is customizing that person's learning style.
And so take a look at yourself as a mentor and look at this and go, okay, is there something
here that you can change?
Is there something else that you can do different.
Because for your mentoring business or your mentoring program or your service that you
give as a mentor, for you to really be at that level of total fulfillment and also be
able to serve people of their literally their highest level is you really honoring what
mentors are really about.
Mentors don't go around telling people what to do.
They open up the minds.
They open up the heart.
And the person comes alive through being mentored.
And when the mentoring program is over, that person is empowered.
They're empowered to be able to keep going and moving forward without their mentor.
That's when you know mentoring has really happened and has really made it's mark.
--When that person can move on.
Now, some mentors kind of disable that.
They kind of... you know, they want people to be dependent on them.
They want to be the star of the show.
They want to have all this recognition being a mentor.
And people can get caught up into that.
I hope you're not getting caught up into that.
Because let's step up the mentoring to the next level so that who the star is is the
mentee.
Them getting their goal, them making progress, right?
That's what we're really here for is to help people discover how to create their own life.
So, check in with your ego.
Is your ego in a place where you have to have all the credit?
You have to have dependents?
You have to make sure that person never can go off and be able to build and create their
own life with out you?
Or do you really have that heart of a mentor?
That heart of the mentor is customize the training so it fits them.
Really dive in and open up that heart and that mind of that person.
Empower them to function at their highest level.
That's what mentoring is all about.
Hey, I love to train people about being great mentors.
That's why I created a program called Art Of Mentoring.
Go to my website at 3keylements.com and check out my program about becoming your next level
mentor that's inside you.
Art Of Mentoring is held here in Salt Lake City.
We'd love to see you there.
And come experience what it's like to dive even deeper into the principles of helping
people reach their highest potential.
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