When it comes to popcorn movies, the phrase "dumb fun" might get used by fans.
And a lot of people found Suicide Squad to be just that: dumb fun!
But...was there just a bit too much dumb?
With a collection A-list actors as ridiculous comic bad guys, you'd think it'd be hard to
get it wrong, and while the end result has some great moments, the final cut that made
it to the silver screen was reportedly wrecked by the studio making cuts.
While you may have seen the extended edition at home, here are some dumb things in the
theatrical version of Suicide Squad that everyone just ignored.
The magic machine
Enchantress exists so the Suicide Squad can go up against a sexy villain with a generic
plan.
"Uh, please don't touch me.
Please don't touch me."
Her big evil idea?
Build a mysterious "machine" to end mankind… and that's pretty much it.
The device, apparently powered by Enchantress' sweet dance moves and makeout sessions, is
never actually explained.
She just says she's going to create a giant garbage tornado to get back at humanity, then
it opens up a hole in the sky.
Enchantress can transform any human into a member of her jelly army, and her brother
has crazy fire-whips for arms that can slice through anything.
If you can't take over the world with just that, you're doing it wrong, lady.
Justice League who?
By the time Suicide Squad rolled around, The Flash and Wonder Woman were already introduced
to movie audiences.
To have them disappear during one of the biggest metahuman crises the world has ever seen doesn’t
quite add up.
It would have been simpler to set the film pre-Man of Steel than to pretend that these
heroes didn't exist for the big fight of Suicide Squad.
We could accept if Batman called in sick after learning his lesson about not fighting superpowered
villains…
"Oh —-"
...but no Wonder Woman?
She's all about this kind of stuff.
The helicopter crash
Suspension of disbelief is pretty critical when viewing any superhero film, but that
doesn't mean you have to toss out everything you know about physics and biology in the
name of action packed evil shenanigans.
"Evil shenanigans."
When the Suicide Squad's helicopter is shot down as they're entering the city, and does
about a dozen flips on the ground, you'd expect a broken fingernail, at the very least.
The super-tough Killer Croc might come out okay, but somehow, everyone hops out of the
downed 'copter like they're fresh out of the shower.
"What a ride!"
We know they're bad guys, mostly because Harley Quinn announces it frequently —
"We're bad guys, it's what we do."
— and we know they're tough.
But there's no way that someone didn't at least bang a knee in that crash.
"Aaahhhh, aaahhhhh"
Look we'll say it again: we're calling shenanigans.
"I swear to God I'll pistol whip the next guy that says shenanigans!"
"Hey Farva, what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy —- on the walls
and the mozzarella sticks?"
"You mean Shenanigans?"
"Ohhhh!"
The only bomb in the universe
The first attempt at blowing up Incubus failed because Enchantress cut out on the team moments
before the bad-guy-destroying bomb went off, with no way to reset the countdown.
Instead of setting the bomb for five minutes or something, they base an entire plan around
an unreliable magical weirdo.
"Needless to say the whole thing was a bad idea."
Even stranger, they only have one of these bombs, and somehow can’t make another, so
they have to retrieve it from a flooded subway system.
At the very least, this makes Killer Croc's swimming, uh, "powers" actually relevant,
but it's never explained why this one bomb is the only bomb.
Or why wiping out the building from above isn't an option.
Or why don't they just use a drone or something?
Why must the Squad do everything the hard way?
"We're bad guys, it's what we do."
Oh.
Okay, then.
Terrible admissions policy
Amanda Waller's entire reason for assembling the Suicide Squad was so she could have her
own group of super-people she could control.
But the team leaves a lot to be desired.
While it’s kinda accurate to the comics, the film doesn’t really make the reasons
for their roster clear.
Villains like Killer Croc, Diablo, and Deadshot make sense to have around, because their skills
can be pretty handy.
But what about Harley Quinn and Captain Boomerang?
Harley Quinn has been shown to be a clever tactician in the comics, but all of that's
replaced with tight shorts in the film.
Last time we checked, hotpants weren’t a superpower.
Captain Boomerang is a sociopathic bank robber who can throw boomerangs, which are the least
effective weapon of all time.
While we're on the subject of the Captain...
Boomerang returns
After the team has its near-breakup toward the middle of the film, the gang decides to
get back together and go face off against Enchantress.
It's fairly well established why everyone decides to stick around for the big fight,
but then Boomerang just randomly jumps in with them as they do their heroic walk off
into battle.
Unlike most of the other team members, Boomerang never really showed any interest in being
a team player.
So why does he come back?
Is it because, uh, he's all into boomerangs?
And they always come back?
"Oh no, it's coming back this way!"
"That throwing stick stunt of yours has boomeranged on us!"
And where does he keep getting those beers?
Maybe that’s his real superpower.
"Somethin' wrong Yank?"
"No, it's pretty big, I guess."
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